Even more so than the the fact that I *hate* to say it is the fact that I hate to *keep* saying it: I not only dislike the freshman class, but I also resent them deeply. I resent the fact that I still have two point five weeks left of teaching them. I resent that I have to see another round of crappy essays (most of them will be unless they pull something out of their a$$es for the final drafts, but most of them won't be able to give their performance in the last 7 weeks). I resent that even after the crappy final drafts, there's still a chance I will see them again, although I will reissue a strong word of caution regarding "editing" as "revision." I resent that even after this essay is still yet another essay and a take home final exam. I resent having to resent them because it saps my energy, makes my neck hurt, and makes me have a super short temper that then results in me unnecessarily yelling at my poor old girl for wanting to go on a walk. Yes, I just said that I resent this class for making me yell at and scare my dog.
In an act of rebellion then, which might not seem like an act of rebellion, I decided to just plow through the remaining three readings already this morning (including the one I'm teaching a couple hours) so that I don't have to think about for the rest of the week or this weekend or next week. During my office hours I will get their final essay topics typed out and uploaded as well as the take home final. So then with the exception of grading, I have nothing else to do this quarter in the three classes.
Still, this has been a great year for me. Despite this class and what it might sound like, I'm still very pollyanna-ishly happy here. Of course, the honeymoon is over, but it doesn't leave me with regret about the move to here. Yes, I wish I were paid through the summer so that I a) didn't have to teach to pay bills because I need a break and b) so that I didn't have to constantly worry throughout the year about saving to make sure that the summer bills are taken care of. However, I have hope that next year will be better because we should have the husband's GI Bill starting immediately fall quarter, so that will take a significant burden off. The only thing, aside from summer finances, that bothers me is that we don't have the money to save for summer bills AND try to get ourselves out of debt. That hangs over me like an anvil. Actually, it rests on my head because I constantly feel the pressure.
ETA: Not even half of the class turned in the assignment for today. And one of those was clearly done during the class period today rather than paying attention to the discussion and strategies for writing essay 4. Two of the argument worksheets look like the students spent less than one minute on it. Especially for those who are maybe struggling with the essay (those who turned in one paragraph), it was designed to basically force them to outline the paper and force them to think about specific examples to support the argument to get them closer to the draft they need for Friday. Only three of the seven put forth that kind of effort. And we've spent the last almost three weeks looking at arguments, breaking them down to show how they're supported, what NOT to do, what thesis statements are and how to write one, even crappy ones, tying all this back in to essay 1 & 2 to show them that what they have to do now is no different than what they had to do for the first two essays, and still, today, not only did not even half the class turn in the assignment, but I don't even think a third of them did. And all quarter has been this way. And only two people read today's assignment. And only two people actually had their books. And I gave them their next paper topics today so that those who do want to get a head start, no class on Friday won't be a total waste for them. Because if they're not reading and not bringing their books to class, is canceling class really going to matter? One kid does nothing but roll his eyelid up all class period. I'm serious. It's gross. I think the three or four who could benefit from a class period are also the three or four who will use Friday to get a head start on essay 4 and who are likely to bring me a draft in progress.
It's true, I hate myself for the fact that I've given up. And for the sake of the ones who are working, I am doing my best to keep the class interesting and helpful so they will be successful in 102. The ones who are failing are not failing because they're struggling. They all passed essay 1 with flying colors. Many of them were in the B range. They know how to write. They know how to revise because I saw in many cases, dramatic revisions between rough draft and final draft. And then did nothing for the next draft. Some literally so, like not even turning in Essay 2. Some turned the drafts in really late. I really just don't know what else to do. And this is what is frustrating is that every.single.one of them was passed Essay 1. And then just stopped working. And I think this is at the heart of my resentment here and why I can't feel like I failed them because they each demonstrated in the beginning that they knew how to write and write well for that matter and that they understood, based on the initial draft, what it meant to revise the essay to make it stronger. I just, I don't know.
So I actually drafted this comment in response to your last post, but then I didn't post it because I was hesitant to sound critical, but, well, maybe it would actually help?
ReplyDeleteI wanted to comment on your last post because I started thinking about how I'd feel if I discovered that one of my colleagues were canceling class to grade and not giving feedback on low-scoring papers. I understand your frustration, but that didn't really sit right with me.
Bear in mind that some of your students may really be struggling. They probably identify as "bad writers" and assume that they don't know how to do the assignments and won't do well. Students like this can be hard to teach--I get a fair number of them--but it's our job to figure out ways of helping them, right? Simply giving them bad grades, with no feedback (and canceled classes, which means less actual instruction--for which they're paying), might only confirm their identities as "bad writers" and discourage them from trying even more. And if you've communicated your frustration to them in some way, they probably feel further disinclined to try.
(Also, it takes a long time to figure out how to really *revise.* I think that, typically, students who edit instead of actually revising are doing so because they don't truly understand what real revision entails.)
This isn't to let those students off the hook--but if they feel like there's no point in trying, then most of them are not going to exert the effort. It's not a mature attitude, of course, but they're probably mostly pretty young and college is the time when a lot of that maturation should happen--it hasn't happened, in most cases, before they get there.
I understand that you're frustrated and just want to be done, and maybe this quarter is a loss. (Sometimes a class just doesn't have a good dynamic.) Also, I have no idea what you've actually done with this class, and it's entirely possible that weeks of valiant effort on your part have gone completely unheeded by the students. (Again, it happens!) So feel free to ignore me here; it's just that your post raised some concerns.
Anyway--I hope this doesn't upset you; I just thought that a different perspective on the situation (especially because your students' performance is not a personal attack on you--as you know, of course, but sometimes we can internalize these things without realizing it) would potentially be helpful.
No, no. Actually, I think most of what you say is true, in theory. But, these are the same students who skipped conferences, who show up without their books (still 7 weeks into the quarter), and who when given time to write in class and speak to me in class about their drafts, sit and giggle and play on FB, even after I've called attention to the giggling and FBing and asked them why they weren't writing. At which point they just sit at their desks and do nothing.
ReplyDeleteI have expended a large amount of energy on them this quarter in trying to figure how to make the ones who are failing better writers--different revising techniques, different revising assignments, feedback on multiple drafts, individual student conferences to give these students who might be afraid to address these issues in front of their peers a chance to address these issues with me so that I can figure out what is going on.
And what I got, several assignments later, were drafts that were exactly the same as Essay 1, which given the cumulative attitude of their actions, indicates pretty strongly that whether they are struggling or not, they don't care enough to at least make an effort.
Part of the reason for canceling class so that I can get the drafts finished is so they do have time to see me to work on their revisions for essay 3. Part of the reason for not giving them written feedback, on the failing essays, is to force them to see me (which they have to if they want to revise) to talk about the essays. Because what I found was that those who did show up for the conferences and put an effort into the revisions responded to what I said and ignored the written feedback (which also contained important info for the papers).
Those who only turned in paragraphs, even still, got extensive feedback from me in order to help them think about their topics to try to point them toward an argument. And then I spent the first part of class Monday and designed and assignment (due today) specifically for these students. We'll see if the ones who need the help actually did the assignment.
And I will be on campus, in my office, grading, so the students who want to see me and who can only see me during class time, have the opportunity to do so. So even in canceling class, I won't be unavailable.
The ones who are working hard and could use a break will get it, plus extra time to work on the next essay. And it is crappy because I do feel like I've given up, but honestly, for all but maybe 5 of them, I feel like I've done everything but write their papers for them, and the general attitudes is that that's what they are expecting from me.
At this point, I'm at my wit's end. However, I do feel if they're only going to turn in a page, there's no need for me to leave extensive feedback. And I probably will end up commenting on the C papers, even though I say I'm not. But I feel like canceling class on Friday to grade *is* the better choice because I can get them what they need so they have more time to work on the revisions and make appointments with me.
I hope it doesn't sound like I'm defensive or anything. Again, in theory, you're right. But this class, in general, has consistently displayed a lack of effort that I could be more generous with my time if the effort was there. I think most of the time we can tell the difference between a student who really just doesn't care but who still might be struggling and a student who genuinely does care, is trying, and still struggles. I don't resent the latter at all.
Does that make sense?
And not a single one of them, despite my overall suggestions for those who are struggling and need extra help, have bothered to go to the writing center either.
ReplyDeleteAh, okay. Your first paragraph alone explains a lot, and goes a long way towards justifying your response to them--that would drive anyone nuts. Fair enough! And clearly you've tried with them--so if they're not responding, then it does sound like one of those Bad Batches.
ReplyDeleteI've never taught on the quarter system.... I wonder, are students more burned out by third quarter? I could imagine more of this kind of behavior later in the year than in the fall or winter. Or is there a good chance that some of these students failed comp in one of the previous quarters? That could also be at play here. (Or it's just a nasty classroom dynamic, in which they're feeding off of each other's indifference, and there isn't a whole lot that you can do about that, either.)
Thanks for responding--I was afraid of sounding like I was attacking you, which isn't what I meant!