Okay, so maybe now I'm starting to freak out a little bit. I've not gotten nearly anything I wanted to get done this summer yet--including the self-imposed deadline for the small article. As the editor doesn't need it until the end of the month, well, here I am--I haven't looked at it since I wrote it, and now I'm 9 days away from having to turn that bad boy in, and I've made no progress. Because the J was supposed to be in class all day or at a job, well, now he's home all day, and while I love having him around, it's bad for my productivity. And it's not totally his fault. I mean, there's soooooooooo much stuff to do around this house! So much to clean, so much food to prep, so much organization to do, STILL boxes to be broken down, clothes to go to Goodwill. I mean, I could spend eight hours of cleaning a day and organizing and throwing stuff out and donating and whatnot, and I'd be occupied, seriously, for like three weeks. Next week though, I'm going to have to take the week off from housework and all things house related so I can finish the article and make some headway on my research here. I have to give myself a tiny bit of credit for just now figuring out how to order my own desk copies for my fall class.
It's July, and I haven't done anything really.
I keep saying, "But the house needs to be in order before fall; the house needs to be in order before fall," which is layered under "the house needs to be in order NOW" which thwarts my work, and all my great "reorganization" projects just leave half the place in greater disarray than before! Egads! Maybe what I need to do is devote today to the guest room and the office and be done with it for good so I have no more excuse you know? I'm more of a mess than I like to think.
The J hasn't started work yet which is starting to stress me out because no one knows when he's supposed to in-process. The only thing keeping me from full on panic is a) he's not worried, and b) the people who got the jobs in the other units are all in the same boat, so at least three other people are limbo for their in-processing, too. With any luck though, he'll start at the next pay cycle. It sucks because if they push it off any longer, than he could have stayed in school. ARGH! Sometimes the military just makes me so freaking crazy!!
Outside of academics and the great reorganization/purging project of the summer of 2012, other things are going well. As I mentioned I bought new running shoes for the first time in a year and new work out shoes for the first time in 7 months. Yesterday I bought new work out clothes for the first time in a year as well! So now I have shorts to get me through an entire week of work outs and a couple of more sports bras. Last week I got into my mini jean skirt that I haven't been able to wear since 2010, and even then I only wore it once or twice. I tried it on in May and it did not fit at all, so that's cool. And it looked pretty good, too. CrossFit is going really well, although I fear that the trainer thinks I "like" him, which I'm sure he's aware that ALL the women there have crushes on him. However, I am almost always the last.one.there. I always do the "Ca$h Out" work out,* and I'm almost always the last one there finishing it. And then I have to stretch. It's the only thing keeping me from total body breakdown here.
But see, I see the box as a classroom. I thrive in classroom environments. And as I mentioned, the thing about the CrossFit box is that everyone who work outs there does the same work out as everyone else; we all work toward a common goal, and our times go up on the board. I am a teacher/coach/professor pleaser especially if it's a class I like, right? As I have competition aspirations, my behavior at the box is totally as one who is vying to be the teacher's pet. It's sad in a way I think, but it's also because even in the outside world, I struggle to be taken seriously. And right now, I'm like the least strong when it comes to Olympic style weight lifting than all the other females, and I HATE being last! And while we all compete against each other though, we're all very supportive of each other and what we all can accomplish. It's very symbiotic--bettering oneself betters the community and the bettering of the community betters oneself. And that's how CrossFit refers to itself--as a community. And it prides itself on fostering that community. It's service oriented, too believe it or not. Lots of people who quit their jobs to devote their time to CrossFit find some way to work CrossFit into some kind of community based non-prof. Anyway, you are all probably already sick of hearing me go on and on about this.
I have found though that it clearly is filling some kind of need/void though. I get to interact with people outside of campus, outside of my department, outside of academia. I get to do something that makes me feel really good and do that around other people who get it. And on the days I do get work done, I actually get a lot done because I feel better, I can focus, and I have more energy to do that stuff. For a while I don't have to be Dr. Maude, which isn't a bad thing at all, and granted, that is the largest part of my identity, but it's not everything. It shouldn't be everything all the time either I don't think. Anyway, this has all veered off from where I started the post, and as class is in a little bit on this Saturday morning, I should get going.
I think what needs to happen this weekend though is I figure out a schedule for the coming week and what I want to accomplish by the end of the week for work so I get that done.
Have a wonderful weekend all!
*it's the post work out work out where you drain whatever you have left in you.
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