Stressed out already! Argh!

I can't even remember my last post here.

Well, we are officially in week 2 of the quarter, although last week, which was only 2 days, I'd say hardly counts as a week, and to be honest, I already feel like I'm in midterm week. That's how long this last week has been.

While my summer was somewhat relaxing and enjoyable and allowed me to focus on things other than academia, I'm regretting at this moment my poor lack of planning, focus, and discipline. I also regret spending the last two weeks not really thinking more fully and clearly about the abstract I have due today. I had a horribly crappy day Tuesday, which showed in the novel class, and feel a tremendous amount of pressure to redeem myself today.

Also, I feel fat. I'd say that our eating this weekend was 70-80% clean, but I think there are a few things going on here. I'm bloated as hell. In part from that 20-30%, in part from stress and not great sleep (my workouts are actually ok though), and I think I'm retaining a bunch of water because I think I've been in a steady state of dehydration all week. Generally I drink upwards around 128 oz of water a day (4 32-oz bottles), and lately, this week, I'm down to like less than one. And that's including the water I drink while I'm working out. So because I'm bloated like a beached whale, my clothes are tight which causes me anxiety. They shouldn't be. There's no reason for them to be. There's no reason for me to be bloated. Argh. My face is a mess. I dislike my hair cut and color. But I think I'm going to fix that color issue tomorrow afternoon. And my glasses are crooked, but I have to drive a half hour away to get them adjusted, and who has time for that? Anyway, who wants to hear about that? Whine, whine, whine.

Things have been a mess with J since the disaster deployment--he is still owed some time off, but he's had to go in early and come home late. I'm still trying to get into the pace of the new quarter and readjust to actually having to work (the pups are struggling with this, too). And man, you know April is not the cruelest month is you're an academic. It's September. While I'm thankful for the J's paycheck, it's just we're at the breaking point here. That stretch between June 1 and September 30 is just too long. Fortunately he gets paid tomorrow, but damn. I thought I had a handle on the finances. Turns out, right now, I clearly don't.

I'm trying to use my office hours judiciously here and get as much done on Sat and Sun mornings to make my life easier, but this weekend is going to be a mess. I've got to spend the office hours today finishing that abstract. And my first set of papers is coming in on Monday in two classes. Also, I've got to figure out what to get the J for his birthday, and we have people coming over for dinner Saturday. The house is a holy hot mess, and I have no idea when we are going to find time to clean. Sheesh!

All right, I'll quit complaining. I just don't ever remember being this stressed out ever at the beginning of a quarter/semester. It's throwing off my groove here. But whatever, I'll get through it. I think once I get this abstract done I'll feel better. And once the J's paycheck comes in in the morning, I'll feel better because then I can go grocery shopping. Yay! And I don't even have the first clue what I'm going to have for any of our meals today at all.

Okay, I'm going to finish prepping for class so that I can maybe alleviate that stress and get back to work on that damned abstract. Hope the rest of you guys out there are doing well!

xo,
maudie