New Year's Post

I am fond of New Year's "goals" posts. And while I should be working and will probably regret later not getting any work done during my office hours, I haven't taken a moment to write for myself in a long time.

First of all, I got nothing done over break. The Magpie was sick. Like at one point sick enough to warrant a trip to the ER and then a overnight and full day hospital stay. It was a lot of fun Christmas morning with her, but she spent much of the break sick. So all of my plans to work were shot because a lot of the time she just wanted me, which is painfully sweet, but exhausting. I try to cherish those moments, and I love on her as much as I can. It makes me wish I had a job I could just walk away from and be a stay at home mom. Or that my life was such to allow for that. I'm still working on figuring stuff out. Since she has steroids in her system now from the croup, we've gone once again from nice 10 hour nights (at least) to waking up every few hours again. I not only feel like I've been hit by a truck, but like that truck has dragged me 25 miles. And because she was sick and everything felt thwarted, I'm bummed because I feel like the break should have been better, and I was so looking forward to it, and I hate that it was a disappointing break, but that seems to be how the last year has just been. Starts and stops and disappointment.

So given that it seems I just have a sick baby, I need to live my life under this assumption until she's like a toddler I guess. And that brings me to my goals for this year:

1. First and foremost, I need to let go. I need to not dwell on the fact that last year didn't go as planned and that this year has started pretty crappily, too. I need to learn to just deal with things and be a bit more flexible and not get so depressed when things don't go as planned. Last year is done. Yeah, the first 7 days of this year have really sucked so far, but I need to accept it and move on.
2. I need to just assume that the Magpie is going to be sick and get my work done when she's not sick and try to prep as much as possible in advance so that when she does get sick, I'm not totally stressed. Or I'll hopefully at least be able to handle the stress better.
3. I need to realize that it's okay to put some things on hold for now, with the exception of the article I need to write for tenure. That can't wait, and I should probably devote whatever little time I have to trying to knock that out so things aren't horrifically stressful next year. That means that my Crossfit goals need to take a backseat to everything else right now, and I need to be okay with that.
4. I need to take better care of myself and make more time for myself. That means going to CF regularly, but recognizing that I can't perhaps work out with the frequency and intensity I want to. But right now I've been stress eating and not working out so that I can prep for class, so that all of my waking hours become about teaching, and I need to be okay with letting some of that slide in favor of doing what's best for me so that I'm not totally resentful of everything. Part of that involves taking the time to prep the food for cooking so that dinner isn't stressful.

Other things I want to accomplish:

• I need to write more. That's all I want to do. I have some specific writing goals for the year.
• Sell house in Home City by the end of the year and buy a  home here by next January. 
• Get the rest of the debt paid off.
• Get a minivan. Yes, I just said that. I want a minivan. And a closet full of clothes from Eddie Bauer and L.L. Bean. You heard me.
• Donate more stuff and make more room for the sake of having room, not for the sake of having more stuff. 
• Work on the savings account.
• Secure daycare for the Magpie.

That's it. Really this year, in a nutshell, needs to be about acceptance, balance, self care, and creativity.

Hope you all are doing well!