I'm so thankful that the quarter is coming to a close and what I've learned from all my failures this fall.

Even though I'm still behind on all.the.things, being able to relax a bit more has helped.

I've figured out, after nine weeks, that I can't make this kind of schedule that I gave myself this quarter work for me on any front. At all. I had a two week burst of productivity, and that's it. Since then, I've spend as much time complaining about work and not having time to do everything as I have actually doing things. Everything has made me extremely depressed this quarter, and who can function like that? And the problem is I keep taking breaks, and the breaks end up being longer than the work stretches because I've exhausted myself. Steady productivity is a better pace for me than mad bursts and then periods of checking out. So, here's what's changed:

1. I hit rock bottom, finally. I declared that I was going to work on a weight gain goal and try to hit 200 pounds, buy elastic pants, and give up. I was serious. And Monday I was all stressed about cleaning and everything and about my parents coming in, and I just finally admitted defeat and gave up on everything. Surprisingly, that helped.
2. I cancelled my office hours yesterday and cancelled classes today. It sounds shady to say that I did it in part so I could work out, but I'll explain. Today is usually the one day where I actually just lecture on the stories rather than hold class discussion. And it's a lecture that I've pulled from a couple of different places, and which I usually post the note on the discussion board anyway. So, I gave them the option of having them come to class with me reading the lecture to them or cancelling class but they had to read EVERYTHING I posted on their own with the understanding that they were still responsible for the material for the exam whether I went over it or not, and if they weren't comfortable with that, that I would come in and deliver the lecture. They opted not to have class. I'm actually okay with this because the ones who were there Tuesday have had near perfect attendance and I could see the look of despair and anxiety and tiredness in their eyes. If they are anyway near as stressed as I am, then the ones who always show deserve I think to take take responsibility and have the day off. They may regret it during class time, but I did make it clear that I would have class and give them the lecture. That means that I've worked out two days in a row, had some time to myself, and gotten the laundry done. I also have tonight's dinner already made. So just taking that breather to get some stuff done has now put me in a position to get through the quarter without just keeping afloat.
3. My parents are back in town. I was stressed out after a while with them here, and it's been a great time just the three of us, but the division of labor is now easier with mom and dad around. Help in the kitchen, help with grocery shopping and meal prep, all of that means less stuff for me to do and more time to get other things done like work. And my mom declared that they are coming back to help until I get my articles written for tenure so that I can spend more time working and less time doing household stuff, which wow, I mean, that's nice. Plus, they just want an excuse to be with the kid. As as I clean and declutter, there's slowly more room in the house which makes a big difference with four adults and one child. 
4. My schedule this quarter has helped highlight what doesn't work for me, so I know how to adjust next quarter and spring quarter. 

What I've learned:

1. The school year is not the same as summer. Sure, that sounds like a no-brainer here, but I thought if I got used to a certain schedule over the summer and replicated it during the quarter it would work, but that's not the case. I guess I always forget by the end of summer just how exhausting the actual teaching part of my job is. In the summer, it does work better for me to work out first and then get to my own stuff after I drop off the kid. During the year, it does not. It seems to work better for me if I get up and get 45min to an hour of work in early morning and then work out after kid dropoff. I seem to be more consistent that way. That is the plan for next quarter: 45 min to an hour in the am, and then the goal is to get another 45 min to an hour of reading done in the evenings before bed. I think that will lead me to a more productive quarter in terms of my own work and my health/wellness.
2. The one different thing I am trying is having a full day at the office on Wednesdays. If I do the bulk of my office hours on Wednesdays, then this means that Wednesday gets to be my mid week off day in terms of getting up early to do work and working out. That leaves me MTRF (with MF off from the office). I'm hopeful that I can use that time for class prep/grading and article work since I'll have a nice full day there. We'll see how that goes. Again, I'm hopeful here.
3. I am a nicer person all around when I can get things done. When I've worked out and gotten my writing done, I'm a nicer and more even wife and mother, two things I actually like being. I think we've all suffered this quarter because of me, and I don't like that at all. I want to fix that. Fortunately I've fixed the remaining week of the quarter to benefit us all in that way, and things will be okay, I think. I already feel better having worked out yesterday and this morning and knowing that I'll be able to work out tomorrow morning as well. My desk at home is cleared off; the bedroom is straightened (for now); I've got a little space in there to function, so that should help for the next week or so.

Today I'm going to spend no more than an hour grading and then I'm going to work on my article and see what I can't try to unravel of that hot mess.

ETA: Grading done. Also wrote for 20 minutes on the article. I'm overwhelmed by it, but I think I now have a sense of how it needs to be organized and how to deal getting my notes and draft to make sense. I'm a bit stressed and anxious about it, but I at least feel like I know where it should go.