So I am frantically trying to get caught up on my grad class. In many ways the on-line thing has been great in terms of not having to be in a room for an extra three hours a week and when I'm behind or not as fully prepared as I should be, it gets masked by the nature of the class which is much more student led and student responsible than if I were in class. The downside is that we are all behind because nothing is forcing us to get to a certain point each week. And that lack of structure has me stressed out a little bit, too.

The work those who are left in the class are doing though is for the most part outstanding. I got a good group who can self-direct, so that alleviates any guilt on my part for lack of guidance. It is forcing those who really want to get something out of the class to get it. If that makes me a poor professor this quarter, then so be it. I'm okay with that.

What is more pressing though is that I just feel like I've failed this quarter. Just about every goal I've set for myself has not been met. Not even close. 

However, what is most distressing is that my stress level and anxiety is affecting the kid. She's displaying some signs of anxiety that seem a bit more than what a two year old should (at least her separation anxiety at school has abated), and that bothers me. I know she's feeding off my anxiety, and I don't like that. So I've started meditating again. I hope that helps me even out a little bit more. And I am going to make a commitment to 8 hours of sleep a night. I got almost 9 last night, and it's already made a difference. And if that means I need to adjust my workout schedule, then so be it. I need the sleep. That will help with the weight loss, the stress, the anxiety, the depression, and really just my ability to function and get things done. As far as meditation goes, I like the Headspace app a lot, and they have a new "depression" pack, also ones for anxiety and stress, but I'm going to give the depression pack a go first. 10 minutes a day for 30 days. I can easily commit to 10 minutes of meditation. I am also, in conjunction with this, going to work on my caffeine consumption, too. 

I'm hoping these lifestyle tweaks will help me even out a bit more and get me closer to my writing and teaching goals. 

Now to knock out some grading!