Some goings ons.

I have been working steadily this past week on the book chapter that was due tomorrow, but for which I got an extension until next Friday. I still think this is possible. I've still got a lot to plow through, but I really feel like I can get through all the rest of the research by Monday and spend the week drafting, writing, revising. It'll be a crunch, and tough, but I know I can get through it.

That being said, yesterday was a bust though. I have an ear infection! Like a full blown, ear going to burst out of my head, ear infection. I went to the doctor (that's how I know it was an ear infection and not a sinus infection or cold or whatever), got a massive and a little shot in one hip, another shot in the other hip, and needless to say, I was out for the count yesterday. I spent most of the day in bed. And I felt really bad because the kid just wanted to play, and I think she sort of understood "Mommy's really sick," but not really. Anyway, that was tough.

So here's what's going on with her. She's been having some lower GI problems. Intermittent diarrhea, but no fever, no dehydration, no weight loss (she's been gaining actually), no abdominal pain, no loss of appetite. Aside from the intermittent diarrhea, she's healthy. But this has been going on since April, and she keeps getting sent home from daycare, which during the quarter when it's just me is a real problem, and would have been a real problem this summer had my mom not been here. (There are other things going on at her daycare that are really stressful that I'll get to in a minute). Back in May she tested positive for this. We treated it. Next go round of tests, negative. That was gone. But still, the problem was there. Maybe it just did a number on her system? Whatever. Sent home from school. More tests. She's had this, since probably April. It's a relatively easy fix with the right antibiotics. But still. Hopefully this will be the last of it. What we think happened here is that she got this from the zoo, specifically the petting zoo. She had been sick the week before we went, probably a virus at school that caused the initial diarrhea, and then in a weakened state, her body was prime for these things to enter. I know it wasn't my cooking (and she doesn't eat out because of her allergies), because none of the rest of us got sick. So that's my best explanation.

Her daycare. There's one teacher, and just when we think the Magpie is out of her room for good, she moves up to help in another room. Look, and I understand that Mags is going to have personality conflicts with her teachers throughout her life and that it doesn't mean that every time she is in conflict that we need to move her. But she's three, for starters, so she cannot really advocate for herself. But anyway, that's besides the point. The very first day, at 14 months when she was in, let's call her Miss A, Miss A's room, after four hours, Miss A suggested that there was something abnormal about her because she didn't feed herself and wasn't orally fixated (wasn't trying to chew on all the toys in the room) and that we needed to look into occupational therapy for her because she doesn't know how to use a spoon. Well, we never taught her that, and we were told it would be several more months before she would even get a spot in the room, so we were going to work on self-feeding then.  Okay, so Miss A moves up after a couple of months. Magpie gets to her room when she turns 2. Third day in there, Miss A: "you know she doesn't talk like she should for a two year old. The fact that she says these big words, that's a sign of autism." Now, I understand she's been doing this for a long time and has seen a lot of kids and has more experience around 2 year olds than I did, but um, no. Neither of our pediatrician has ever suggested that she is on the spectrum or should be tested.** She treats the Magpie differently. And Mags picks up on that. And hates to be in her classroom. Another ongoing issue is her food allergies. We've had her tested. By a specialist. We have a doctor's note. We are asked at least once a week: "Are you sure she's really allergic to these things? How do you know for sure? Have you tried feeding her these things?"And when it's not that it's: "You know she feels different right? You know she understands that she's not normal like the rest of the kids and she wants to eat the things they have." I'm going to address that first. When we go have their picnics with them, we NEVER see Magpie looking at another kid's plate, trying to take food off another kid's plate, crying because her plate looks different. She eats her fruit and the snacks we bring her. In short, she could give two shits about what the other kids are eating. And don't fucking tell me it's weird not to give my kid juice (she doesn't like juice anyway, and don't tell me that's fucking weird either, that there's something wrong with a kid who doesn't like juice. No. It means my kid's teeth won't rot and she's not hopped up on sugar all morning). But Magpie hears things like "weird," "not normal," "wants to be like the other kids," etc., and she picks up on this negativity, and she doesn't want to be with this teacher.

And if I need to prove beyond a doctor's note that my kid's allergies are legit, then fuck you.

Another recent instance: "She doesn't nap anymore. Maybe she has a sleep disorder."
No, she sleeps like 12-14 hours a night and has a good diet. She doesn't have a sleep disorder. The pediatrician said she has just outgrown naps. "Does she really sleep that long? My kid doesn't go to bed until 9. How can she go to bed at 6:30 and sleep until 7 am?" (In my head: well, don't keep your own kid up so fucking late if you're going to judge me on our early bedtime).

She cannot move up to the 3 yr. room until she's potty trained. She's potty trained. We've spent the last week and a half on this and we've deliberately kept her out of school until she is confident and can get her clothes off and on by herself (we've never taught her how to do that, so that's on me for her being 3 and not dressing herself). Here's the problem with the room now. There are about 4 her age in there. The rest are two year olds or almost two year olds. She knows she is with the babies. She does not want to be with the babies. When we get there and her friends are not there, she cries when she sees the room full of babies. I think the other parents are unhappy with this too, because though her friends's names are still on that room's sign in sheet, we haven't seen them there. So they are either there and being brought to the big kids room, or they are not going. And, if they have accidents, they will send the kid back home in a diaper, and this will destroy Magpie if this happens. So, we are keeping her home until they are going to move her up, basically. We're  afraid that she will have accidents because she'll be stressed and depressed about being in the baby room.

All of this is emotionally draining. We are trying to get her into the Montessori school. One of the problems here in this town is that a) we don't go to church, and that is where nearly ALL of the major networking happens, so we are by default excluded from a lot of stuff, and it's a small town; b) there's only one. There are no options, and the good options all have waiting lists a mile long (unless you know someone from church), so we're sort of stuck right now.

Sigh. But, life goes on. I'm enjoying my time with the Magpie, it just makes balancing work and meeting deadlines and working out a little bit harder, but we're trying.

So there it is, y'all.

**I am not saying that there is a problem with autistic kids at all!! Nor am I in denial about my child. What pissed me off was that if it were true, she was using it negatively as a way to label the kid to get her out of her room. Does that make sense? It wasn't "let's get her what she needs so she can be successful." It was "you're kid is handicapped and it's not my job to accommodate that if you're in denial." Which is wrong.