Killing the Last 20 minutes of Office Hours

So everything got resolved with the grad class. But yesterday we had to meet rather than Monday, and that was a long sucky day.

I was exhausted after such a long heinous day, and I let them go an hour early.

My day hasn't really gone to plan, at least not for my office hours. I had intended on spending only an hour on "work stuff" and getting through a paper from last quarter because the stu wants to use it as a writing sample for grad school applications so I promised I'd go through it with a fine toothed comb. All of these things would have been possible in an hour had I not had to circle campus twice to find a parking spot. On top of running late anyway. Then I had to take care of a couple of things on-line for my own self, post some stuff to Moodle for the students (which took forever to download), and well, here we are with only 20 minutes of office hours left, not enough time to get anything meaningful done. So, I listen to Pandora and blog instead and sit here an miss my baby.

9 months tomorrow! I can't believe it. She's so gigantic! And funny and smart and clever, vocal, spirited and active. I'm constantly amazed by this little creature we created. She is the most amazing thing ever. My heart aches to be away from her.

I've met with all three classes now, and 2/3 are great. The survey class, I'm afraid, seem to be full of uninspiring duds. But perhaps their first impression was just bad. We'll see. I'm not going to be pessimistic or a debbie downer about them yet. I feel like it's going to be a very long quarter though. I'm already exhausted.

Oh, did I mention that I signed up for this? I can't remember. On the one hand, it's been good for me to do it because I had been really really down about my working out, my confidence had been super low, and I'd been feeling really disconnected for quite some time from that community. And even though the last two competition work outs have been really disappointing for me, it's been good for me to partake in the competition because as you know, I have to be working toward something, I have to feel tough in the gym, and I need to feel like I can accomplish something in order for me to be able to get anything done in all aspects of my life. I feel better more consistently working out, even if I am still really struggling with my postpartum body. It's tough on the body to be an old mom and to have had a c-section. And I was in really good shape before and pretty good shape during my pregnancy, but that damn c-section is taking my body forever to recover from. I'm only just now really starting to feel recovered. So 9 months it's taken my body to really heal from that. Sigh. I do wish things had been different, but oh well.

And oh look! Office hours are up. Peace out! :)

Hating all the things

Once again, my totally incompetent, completely flaky boss has taken my perfectly wonderful workable spring schedule and fucked it up royally.

I have a grad class. Boss: "When you like to teach your grad class?" Me: "Monday nights because the J is home on Mondays and he'll be able to watch the Magpie." Boss: "Perfect."

What does she do? She gives me a schedule that has me teaching the grad class from 6-9:30 on TUESDAY nights, a class that starts before the J gets home from work, by a full hour. A class that puts me on campus from 10:00 in the am until 9:30 at night. Child care aside, that's horrendous anyway.

I didn't notice this on the schedule because I had no need to check it. She told me the class would be scheduled for Mondays. I noticed last night after students were emailing me in confusion about the date of the class.

Her response: "Oh, well, I don't think there's anything we can do." I have the emails to her that show us agreeing on the Monday time. She emails the students so it "looks like her fault" which it is! to ask them if they can change to Monday because I can't teach the class on Tuesday, but puts in the email, "if you can't come on Mondays we'll just leave it as is." WTF? I can't come on Tuesdays! Why give the students an out? Why not just leave it with if you can't make this class, I will give you any other class of your choice and make it sub for this one. Fuck you boss!

What the hell am I going to do? I emailed the students myself and bribed them with food at the end of the quarter. I think my email was better than hers because I said I understood that it puts us all in a difficult position my asking them this and that I understand that I'm not the only one with scheduling and child care and work issues. I was so excited and hopeful about the classes this quarter and about my schedule but now, I mean, seriously, WTF? It's just expected then by her that J will take off work when mom leaves to watch the kid? Use up his vacation time because of her incompetence?

Maybe the students will come through for me and it will all work out. There are still a few days yet.

Any advice? What the hell can I possibly do about this as an untenured professor? Or, like last spring, am I going to have to take another one for the team (it doesn't seem that my male colleagues in the same position as me are asked to make the same sacrifices) because I'm untenured? Do I just suck it up, make the best of it, and avoid her for the quarter?

ETA: It looks like the students as of right now are able to make the change, which I do hope is true. Plus the grad chair just emailed them to tell them that class is on Mondays, whether they like it or not, which I'm sure she wasn't that harsh about it. It looks like we have to meet this Tuesday anyway so people can get their stuff in order to make the change, but thanks for letting me vent. I just needed to get some of the rage out and hopefully everything will work out. 

WooHoo! Quarter is finally over!!

Thank God that damn quarter is over.

We're on break now, and it's glorious. I get to spend time with my mom, with the baby, with the husband. I don't have to rush anywhere. I might actually get to get some things done around the house. Wouldn't that be just the swellest thing?

I'm actually really looking forward to this coming quarter. I'm looking forward to the stuff I get to teach, and even though I have three preps, I'm actually looking forward to having only one section of the survey class. I'm looking forward to my research project. I'm looking forward to Springtime in general (which I usually don't. I don't much like Spring for some reason).

I'm feeling much better these days, too. A significant reason I believe is just the quarter being over. I was really getting down there for a while. I spent part of the last two weeks just crying and shuffling and not wanting to do anything. But the J decided that he was going to sign up for the CrossFit Open. And since I'm a total jealous cat and would have just been sick watching him compete and not take part in it, I signed up, too. Even though I have only two of the major skills and have no shot in hell of getting anywhere (not even in the box rankings), just doing the Open and doing the competitors workouts at the box have significantly elevated my confidence in general. I am finally starting to feel like my old self again. For the first time, in a very very very long time, I feel like I can manage the work I need to do; I feel like I might actually get a draft of this article written this quarter; I feel like I might actually be able to improve my performance in my workouts, too.

So, I'm going to answer a few emails and then go do some housework. Happy Mardi Gras all!

So Ready for the End of the Quarter

I have to confess: I'm ready for the quarter to end. Like it can't freaking end soon enough. And not because it's going poorly--I'm freaking BORED! Yes, bored. It's bad, too, because I cannot make myself care about  grading even for the sake of busting through it and getting sh*t done. Seriously. I am at the point to where if I were a less professor, I'd not even give the finals. That is how little I care. Is that not the most awfullest thing ever?

A large part of it is that I'd rather be home with the Magpie, obviously.

Another really large part is that I'm waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay way way more super interested in the stuff I'll be teaching Spring Quarter. Furthermore, my grad class is actually in my current field of research, so I'll be able to double dip here and the theory readings that I will be assigning are works that I need to read as well for my research. I have a better schedule I think next quarter--three day weekend every weekend. Word! So fingers crossed everyone stays healthy and I can get my article written. I was worried that a couple of people would be too busy for our "scholar's meeting" that we haven't had in a year, especially during the spring, but it turns out that everyone was jumping at the bit as it were to meet, so this will finally give me a chance to present something (I didn't have a chance last year), and everyone who presented their work last year got those articles accepted for publication. So it's my turn now to get feedback. Plus it will force me to meet a deadline and get at least half of the article written before summer. I'm very much looking forward to this.

And so now I need to finish up some grading and just get through the rest of this stuff the best that I can without driving myself nuts or shafting my students here in any way. We're all tired and ready for the quarter to be over, but that doesn't mean I need to lower my standards.  Grading I go!

Moving right along

Believe it or not, we're past midterm already here for the quarter which means that I need to start thinking about my two new preps for next quarter. I am on Day 10 of the Whole30 , and a couple of things have happened that I hoped would. I'm better able to stay on top of my work (pushing that limit with the reading though, but the grading I have a handle on). Sleeping better. Working out more. Staying healthier. It's all good.

While I do need to be working on some prep, I've been sacrificing reading time for writing time, even if it is only blog writing or journaling for now because I need it. It is helping me focus right now and work out some "life" issues--my career, where I want it to go, what I need to do to get there, and that's been beneficial for me.

I'm happy to report that my abstract for ALA has been accepted, and this is good not because I need another conference paper, but because it's the article I want to write, so I will write and article rather than a conference paper I plan to turn into an article; I'm going to do it the other way around, and this is the deadline I need to make sure I get to writing something. I can't have two years go by with only two conference papers and nothing else. I have a goal at least here. That's good. And I can at least bend the grad class to coincide with the research I need to be doing.

That's all I got right now. I'm exhausted and ready for break and for the quarter to end because I'm anxious to get to the stuff I'm teaching next quarter. I've also decided that in order to get closer to a real home, a house here, that I'm going to try to pick up two classes this summer so I can get some stuff paid off and get my credit score up so we can buy a house. And we've got to get rid of the other one. I'm not looking forward to teaching over the summer, but it needs to happen so I can get to where I want to be.

A good day! Yay!

Today is a rare moment when my office is quiet. I get to enjoy my lunch here. I am 100% caught up on grading. The Magpie's dr. appt (which was a "hey we need to come see you; her ears are bad we think; can we come in today" appt) went so well! The doc for sure though the ear drum was going to be ruptured--she won't let you touch the ear; however, her ears were fine! Yay! We determined it was residual pain/pressure from some congestion (easily alleviated by saline and a nebulizer and managed by ibuprofen) and from teething, all of which is highly favorable and much more easily dealt with and fixed/managed than an ear infection or ruptured drum. My upper division class is watching a movie tomorrow. The second half of the quarter in the survey class goes so much smoother than the first half, so right now, for the first time this quarter, I don't feel overwhelmed or like shit.

I even got to work out yesterday and Monday.

The Whole30, though only day 3, is going well.

I'll spend part of my office hours actually getting ahead! Word!

Oh, also, my abstract was accepted for ALA. I was sweating it. Truly. I was worried about my motivation to get working on what should be an article (pared down for a conference), so this will mean that I get something substantial written before summer. Whew.

And I'm very much looking forward to vegging out tonight with the folks and relaxing.

I'm feeling a little bit better  the last couple of days. I wish I could get motivated to get my shit together and get stuff done. I think a large part of my feeling better has to do with the decision to do a Whole30 starting on Monday. I think since I've made that decision to try yet again to do something good for myself (mainly because I just can't seem to shake these colds; my sleep is awful right now; and I know it's all related. Stress through the roof...), I just feel better. Since I love to cook, and it relaxes me most of the time, I feel like this will help me get back to that, that I'll have something (in addition to getting my lazy ass out of bed for CF) that makes me happy, and I can share in the meal making with my Mom. Anyway, I'll be chronicling that over at the Paleo blog, so I won't bore you with it over here.

I've got a lot to do this weekend. I'm feeling sort of optimistic about getting it all done. Really, I'm just hoping to get through this quarter and do a decent job and try to finish strong in the Spring. That might be all I can do at this point. And I'm really looking forward to what I'm teaching next quarter. We'll see.

Now to head to class and do my best here. I'm so unprepped for this class. Last week I let them out early both days, and it's looking like today might be an earlyish day, too. I don't care.