Another Rant: The Honeymoon is Over Edition

It seems I'm really angry these days. I apologize for the negative spew that is on the blog lately, but there are lots of things bothering me right now.

Look, for all my complaints about my boss in Fancy Town--ze was most of the time condescending toward me. If students complain, hir first course of action was to question my pedagogical reasoning behind everything to the point to where I had to first think about how I would defend an assignment before I even started creating an assignment, which is just stressful out the ass. Everything I did was questioned. But at least ze was competent--for the most part, as far as schedules and getting me the stuff I needed, whatever. Ze was a tool during my last eval meeting but whatever.

Right now, I can't not complain about my boss. Interim though ze is, oh.dear.god.

During my job interview, I was asked if I would and could teach the theory class because apparently there was this theory class on the books that was required, and since the person who had taught for the last five years didn't get tenure and was gone, they were scrambling because NOBODY wanted to teach this class. I jumped on it. "Are you kidding?? That's my favorite class to teach! I have so many ideas for the theory classes! I LOVE this kind of class. If I taught nothing else, I'd be happy." Response: "That's great to hear because no one wants to touch this, at all." --Hang on to this anecdote.


I'm at my eval meeting.
Boss: "Are you happy here?" Me: [enthusiastically] Yes! I love it here!" Boss: "Oh, you can be honest. You don't have to just say that." Me: "I'm not. I do like it here a lot!" Boss: "Are you sure? You don't have to tell me what you think I want to hear."

Head/desk.

Evals.
Let me tell you--my evals from Winter--amazing. Total complete 180 from the Fall quarter, which I expected to be on the lower side. New place. Moving from semester to quarter. Admittedly I piled too much into the lit class--I crammed a semester into a quarter, and I got called on it by the students. For each section, I had a 2.9 on one question. The rest were average--3.3/3.2/3.4. Not bad. Not excellent, but good. In my meeting, boss asks me about my evals. I explain that Fall was about where I expected it to be; I made the appropriate changes, and voila! Look how high they were in the Winter. Boss: "Yes your evals for the Winter were off the chart. Well higher than the Department or Uni average." Me: "Yes, I'm quite pleased." Boss: "I wouldn't worry too much then about those 2.9 from the Fall." Me: "It's okay. I'm not. I expected that, and because I knew what I did wrong, I changed some things in the class, and clearly they were the right changes." Boss: "I agree. But what I'm saying is that you shouldn't obsess over those 2.9s." Me: "Okay, I'm not." Boss: "yes, well, I agree. But really, I'm saying that you don't need to worry about the 2.9s. You really shouldn't obsess over them. You're record stands for itself right now, so don't worry about them." Me: "Okay." Boss: "Okay, good, just don't think about those 2.9s."

Head/desk.

So, um, yeah, is that a passive aggressive way of telling me that this is going to hurt me one day, or are you just not listening? Frustration point #1.

Publications:
Boss: "Wow, you're ahead of the curve right now! I can't believe you did so much this year already!" Me: "that's good to know." Boss: "So this one that was accepted in October, I don't know if that will count because obviously you did it before you got here." Me: "No, I didn't. I signed this contract for the job here first, then I signed the other contract, and I didn't start working on it until I got here. I sent it off at the beginning of Fall quarter. It will be published with BLT-U after my name, not under my old job. It's affiliated with this Uni." Boss: "Oh, but you wrote it before Fall quarter started." Me: "Yes, after I left my other job. It's my name, BLT-U in the publication." Boss: "But it was accepted in October. " Me: "Yesssss?" Boss: "Okay, I guess this one won't be a problem." Me: "Okay?" Boss: "This other one, is that real [as in legit]? It says there's "newsletter" in the title. So that's not an actual publication that was peer-reviewed then." Me: "No, it's legit. It's out of major university. The editors are two of the top people in the field right now. They read and approve all the submissions because it's still small, but it's run by major scholars and isn't a society or conference proceedings thing. I think they put "newsletter" in the subtitle because they also include interviews, CFPs in the field, bibliographies of major scholarship in the field. It's not something stapled together and sent out." Boss: "Oh, well, I'm not sure." Me: "Okay...??" Boss: "How many pages is pub one?" Me: "19." Boss: "How many pages is pub 2?" Me: "About 9." Boss: "Oh, wow, you're already over half of the minimum requirement for publications then. Wow, you're doing really well!"

Head/desk--after ze just told me that the two in question might not be really legit. So wtf?

Boss: "So what's your scholarship plan?" Me: "To do x, y, z, get past the min requirements, get a cushion and get that set and then start working on my book." Boss: "You don't need a book." Me: " I want to write a book." Boss: "you should start doing that now, just in case you can't find a publisher."

?????

And now, the thing that has me the most cheesed off--
Boss: "So, what's your favorite class that you like to teach?" Me: [enthusiasm out the wazzoo] The theory class! I love that class so much. Hands down my favorite." Boss: "oh, that's going to be a problem." Me: [quizzical look]. Boss: "See, senior prof has been clammering for it for some time; Ze has been wanting to teach it for forever, so we're giving it to hir. You got it last year because the dean wanted you to teach it [that should say enough right there, I think, but whatever]." Me: "okay, I'll share with senior prof." Boss: "Well, other new hire also wants it, so I'm not sure that you're going to get to keep teaching it." Me: "I don't care what other new hire wants. That's my class. Ze cannot have it, and I will fight hir for it." Boss: "But new hire really wants to teach it." Me: "So? Ze cannot have it. I won't let hir. I'll share with senior prof. But new hire can't have it." Boss: [frown.] "How would you rate your collegiality?" Me: "Perfect."

Seriously? Prior to my teaching it NO ONE wanted to touch that class. Now EVERYONE wants it and I'm supposed to be nice and help everyone out. Meanwhile, new hire (who by the way hasn't published as much as me this year--ze may have done something in grad school, but since being here, nothing) already has gotten an upper division class and a GRAD class mind you, and I've only gotten one required majors class--the theory class--and I'm supposed to roll over and be "collegial" about giving up the class. Fuck that. I was brought in to teach that class. New Hire said that didn't even come up in hir interview. Well, I'd like to think there was a reason for that. I was hired to teach this class.

Look, I know this is the nature of the beast, but I feel totally betrayed by these two colleagues/friends who are muscling in on my class all of a sudden. You know why? Because before I got here, the students talked about that class like a necessary evil. When I taught it in the Winter, the word around the halls were that theory is awesome. That the students continued their theory discussion in their other classes before those classes started. That the class fucking rocked. It's not because of the theory. It's because of me goddammit.

Look, I don't normally toot my own horn, but I rock at that class.

And you know what, I fucking picked that territory because no one else fucking wanted it. And I'm not letting that go without a fight.

For now, though, it means that it will be 2013 before I get to teach that class again.

My boss was also critical of the "cushy" schedule that I had in the Winter. Hmmm, 8 am theory class, a huge break, and an 8 am lit class. Cushy, right. Should I point out that ze was the one who chose those classes and times for me?

Head/desk.

I seriously am so nettled right now. I will eventually calm down and relax. I'll eventually get over it. But right now, GRRRRRR! I shake my fist in the air in irateness.

And on an unrelated note: the postman is hoarding my contacts. Seriously. Told the eye doctor he attempted to deliver them, unbeknownst to me, and that he would try again today. I watched that mofo drive away without attempting to deliver anything.

Also, this week I broke my French Press. And I dropped the very expensive watch that the husband gave me for my graduation present and broke that, too. I got two grease burns making falafel. And one of the first friends that I made here got a really great job out of state and left this morning. Shit ass motherfucking week. Also, my allergies are kicking my ass, too. Not happy.