I need for this quarter to end.
I hate to say it, but I dislike my freshman class this quarter. There are about 5 out of 20 who are okay, who do the work, who participate, who take the class seriously. But the vibe in the class as a whole is terrible. I'm really hoping that about half of them are gone by the drop day. Seriously. I don't know, even with the grades that half the class has, if that will be the case. Sigh.
I think that's why I have such trouble sleeping lately. Or one of the reasons. I do not like getting up and going to this class. At all. But there's nothing that I can do about that. I've got three more weeks left with them.
The other MWF class is a dream. I adore them. I wish all three classes were like them.
The TR class is getting better. I lit a fire under their asses and most of them jumped to not get burned, so that class might pick up for the remainder of the quarter.
I need for this quarter to end.
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Okay, so as you all know, I'm fond of making schedules and stuff. Since this quarter has just been a dud, I've been struggling. Maybe the positive take away is that instead of throwing in the towel this quarter, I keep making adjustments and trying to find something that works without just giving up totally.
I keep going back to February because February was a great month for me. I felt amazing. Amazing I tell you. I was on top of grading (rarely did I get behind in February). I was on top of my workouts (I know because I have the calendar). And I think February was the cleanest my diet has been. And by "diet" I mean my food intake. I felt the best I had felt in 20 years, literally. And then the new quarter started. And things started to go downhill. And I feel like I've been trying to get back on track since then.
What did I do right in February? For starters, I didn't have a freshman class. FWIW, there's seriously something to that life energy suck that this particular group of freshman has brought me. Plus the additional work of drafts and grading and just the energy it takes to teach freshman. It seems like freshman classes absorb every free moment and the work I have to expend for the freshman takes up about 70% of my academic life. And it makes me resentful. And resent saps my energy. So there's that.
I have tried for the past two weeks to work out in the mornings before class. That has been somewhat successful. The idea was that I work out in the a.m. so that way I can have the afternoons free for whatever I need to do, primarily research/reading/writing. I have a conference paper to write, and I have absolutely nothing for it except the abstract. And that was the most off the cuff abstract I've written. There's nothing in the wings to back it up. The problem with the a.m. workouts is that it has not helped me accomplish anything but working out in the morning which means I get up earlier. It also has actually cut back on my workouts, too. Instead of doing the three parts to my workout, most days now I only get one part in, sometimes two. This ironically has affected my energy level negatively. I don't do the other part of the work out in the afternoon, nor do I actually read or do anything really. Not even clean. Usually I come home, have a beer, and watch t.v. Counterproductive to the max.
Also, the kind of workouts I was doing in February were slightly different. clearly I was getting more out of it. I've been doing other things for the last month, and while I've been able to stick with it, I've ignored all the other parts of my work out. The stuff I was doing in February left me energized and feeling good. The stuff right now? Exhausted, sapped, drained. So, I return to my regularly scheduled programing this afternoon. The only upside to any of this is at least I've not gained any weight. I've managed to lose weight at a snail's pace, but at least that part of the pattern hasn't returned. I'm not back at square one. I have to give myself kudos for that.
My diet--since spring break has taken a turn for the worse. The gluten, the grains, the dairy... What the hell am I doing to myself. I'm sluggish. I'm unfocused. I'm exhausted. All.the.time. I guess I'm at that age where indulgence does nothing for me but make me feel like shit. And I indulge because I feel like shit. Plus, both the husband and I have been plagued by some sort of low grade depression since the start of spring quarter, so the cycle is just perpetuating. Bad feelings = bad eating = bad feeling = not wanting to work out = bad feeling = slacking on work = bad feelings...
So here's what we're going to try this week.
On MWF, rather than getting up super early, I'm going to get up at a time that allows me to do reading/writing for the conference paper. So 1.25 hours of work MWF morning. (This actually means I get to sleep in for an hour compared to the last two weeks). Workouts MWF afternoon.
TR--I'd have to keep getting up at 5 if I want to do work. But since it's an earlier day, work out after office hours then read/research from 3:30-5:00. That's almost 7 hours a week for the conference paper and for the damn article I have to write that's due the same time as the conference.
I think that might be manageable. I'll report back to let you know how it goes! But I feel better about this plan.
I also have all the meals planned for the week as well. That helps tremendously, too. That's another thing I hadn't been doing since February--weekly meal planning. It makes a difference.
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