Tide Change

Okay, I think the tide may be turning here once again. Let's hope that it continues to flow rather than ebb for the remainder of the quarter. We're halfway through. Although, I have to say, I do miss the semesters and my 4-5 week xmas break, but whatever. It's fine. There's talk of a move to a semester system within the university system, and as long as it doesn't mean that I have to teach 4 classes a semester, I'm all for it.

I've gotten some more rest. Not just sleep, but rest this week, and as it turns out, increasing the rest has not affected my staying on top of things. Just the opposite, actually. This has been one of the best teaching weeks I've had this quarter (knock wood it continues). I think because I'm rested, I just feel more organized and on top of things. And since my body just hadn't recovered from the monsters that were last Friday's and Saturday's workouts, I've taken a rest week at the box. I am still working out, but concentrating more on form and lifting only a fraction of what I would normally even attempt. And it's really really helped, too. I don't feel as broken as I felt on Monday. Seriously, I wanted to cry I felt so old. So I'm "deloading" this week. Actually, one of the coaches said he was really proud of me for finally ditching my ego and taking rest, so that made me feel better.

While it's taking me all week to get through the take home essay exams, and if I get them done by Friday, seriously, I'll have had them for only a week, and that's not bad at all considering about 1/3 of them are 4 pages long and the rest are between 4-8 pages (x approx. 60 essays), so I feel like that's good. Streamlining them and doing the rubric (which I already explained what I was doing and that we'd go over it on Friday) has helped, too. But we'll see how the students react to it.

I have found that it has also helped with my stress level to grade only in my office. Office hours are for grading, and I've been really good about sticking to that. That means, at any time, I'm not grading for more than 2 hours straight, so it's not exhausting the beejesus out of me like marathon grading to get them their work back would. Does it take longer? Yes. Do I feel better and not like I want to just collapse when I get home? Yes. But I do need to work a bit faster today so I can get them done by tomorrow.

Because of this, I actually had the energy to finish reading yesterday afternoon when I got home! I wasn't exhausted or stressed from the grading, so I was able to grab a snack and then sit and ready for three hours and finish the novel which meant not getting up early this morning to finish. Grading in my office also means that I don't get up early to grade either. Bonus! I also found that sitting at *$ Tuesday morning and taking 30-40 minutes there to prep for class worked really really well, was significantly less stressful than doing it at home or in my office, and was relatively pleasant. So I will do that again this morning. That may be my new thing for the remainder of the quarter--TR mornings I sit at *$ and prep. And if that works well, then I might do the same thing in the winter. I find it to be a neutral place because at home I think about what needs to be done around the house. At the office, I feel like I should be grading or available to students or colleagues. At *$ none of that is an issue.

There are a few other things that I think are factoring into this week as well. One, the switch to half caff. I know, I know. Hopefully that that alone isn't the entire reason why I feel better, but if it were, then I would have started to feel better immediately, and it's only within the last couple of days that I've not just felt like I was falling apart. Another thing is I think that I'm finally at that point in the Whole30 where I'm starting to feel that energy shift. That things are starting to balance out. I noticed that yesterday in that I was able to read all afternoon. Ok, at first I started to doze off, but I chugged some water, and boom, I was fine. No coffee, no tea, no nothing. And that had been what I was hoping for with this Whole30 (I didn't really get that last time). And perhaps that is why I've been struggling with the workouts and recovery. It's common to feel sluggish and broken during the first two weeks, so maybe I underestimated the effect of theWhole30 this time around (since I'm doing it better and cleaner than the last time).

Another, and actually I think this is the big thing, is seriously, new clothes. Clothes that fit well, fall well, look really nice, and are comfortable to boot! There was a new look I was hoping to achieve because it's been a really really really long time since I've changed/updated my look (it's mostly just been variations on the same for a loooooooooong time, or trying to get back to a certain look from an earlier time that I have discovered is now dated and unflattering I suppose, although I was hardly trendy then), and with my new purchases (and I've been okayed in the budget to add a couple more things and then I'm set!), I'm feeling SO MUCH BETTER ABOUT MYSELF! Never underestimate the power of being well-dressed. This is the first time since seriously, like 2004, that I've felt like I had a smart, decent, flattering wardrobe that was comfortable and looked nice. I had to finally let go of what the number on the tag said and go for what looked nice, and that's just a better play. While I do hope that as I continue to work out and build muscle that I will get leaner, I really only anticipate losing a dress size more, which is fine with me. If I could fit well into the 4s still left in my closet, then everything else could go, and I'd just modify the size up if necessary. I've also varied my make-up, too.

So there it is. Perhaps this is a new change that I can maintain and keep the stress down and continue to feel good about myself.

And not to underestimate this, but I think that the stuff I'm teaching for the second half of the semester makes a difference, too. I'm really comfortable with it, and love it. But that doesn't matter either if I feel like crap, so there you go.