No rhythm yet.

I constantly feel like I'm not doing enough, like there's not enough time. I feel like everyone around is managing their lives--kids, work, projects, exercise, cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. I know it's an illusion. While I'm sure there are people who are hyper organized and have all of their ducks in a row, for me, right now, I'm really really struggling. I keep sacrificing my work on the book proposal and article (now with deadlines looming) to get other things done, but those things get sacrificed for other things like trying to cook lunches and breakfasts for the next week or two, and even just something as simple as trying to handle the stress of a sick one year old (I cannot bring myself to call her a toddler. I'm not ready for that yet). The J came home with a wicked cold. Magpie has been sick for a week almost now--she took her first nap in 8 days yesterday that was longer than 30 minutes, and has had a full blown cold since about Wednesday night. And I'm trying everything that I can to make this baby comfortable. We've got some non drug remedies, snot suckers, warm baths, fluids, tylenol, no school, cool mist humidifier, boogie wipes, lots of love and comfort and an old iPhone (she loves typing messages--don't worry--when she's feeling well, we limit screen time to 10 minutes a day), a nebulizer, organic food, fruits and veggies filled with vitamin C, lots of greens. It's not doctor worthy. It's just a nasty cold. But she is miserable.

The J is finally on the upswing of the cold, but my mom's got it now, and she feels awful. I was starting to feel bad Saturday night and then yesterday I just didn't feel good at all, so it's hit me, but not as bad as it's hit mom. But I don't have the time to be sick right now, so I will just try to keep it at bay through the force of sheer will.

We're in week three of the quarter and I have yet to find my rhythm. Generally by now I have, but the house is cluttered, my brain is cluttered, my office is cluttered. Everything is a mess, quite literally. And because of a summer of excess (I pretended that cyber camp was the summer camp I never got to attend and acted like a preteen with unlimited access to a dessert bar and no parental supervision), my clothes are tight and I don't feel comfortable with myself right now which I think affects my teaching a little bit. But that's an easier fix. As you know, I'm a big fan of paleo "challenges," especially when there's money and prizes involved (I'm doing this with the box and this with my mom and sister and her friend). I think one of the reasons I do these things is because it gives me a forum for my competitiveness, and it actually helps me organize my life. It forces me to prep food and meals for the week (or weeks), and if I've got the meals taken care of, then everything else really is easier for me. It's like if I can organize one aspect of my life, then the other things that need to be organized also somehow magically get organized as well.

I think I do just need to dedicate one day to cleaning things up and out, that's it and that's all. A day when Mom and the J are both here or perhaps this Friday if the Magpie is better and at daycare, then I'll work out  and start early and just knock stuff out, clean, throw stuff away, put Mom to work at the shredder so I can have a clutter free weekend. Okay, that's my new plan.

And babycakes is awake, so I'll tend to her and head out for the workout.