Ahhhh, I have a few brief moments to myself right now. Class got out early. My office hours don't start for another 20 minutes. I've just been screwing around on the computer for fun. And I feel somewhat relaxed at the moment. I have to start grading again here soon before too long, but I've got a stay of execution, as it were. Oooh, I've also got some admin type stuff to do today, so I can't forget that.

I think much of my feeling overwhelmed a lot lately coincides with being sick. Both the J and my dad are sick right now. Magpie's got another cold (though nowhere near what the one two weeks ago was). My mom was worn out and run down in the beginning of the week, and so was I. I just felt like I had an anvil sitting on me and just felt kinda weak. I think for me though, this is allergy related. Once I got allergy meds in me, boom. I feel significantly better today, and nothing seems to be terribly hopeless right now. I have a lot to do, but I at least, right now, feel like I can get it all done. I've got a good lunch. I don't have to go to campus at all tomorrow. I'm mostly prepared for class this afternoon. At least today I've got a handle on things.

It's very frustrating though because I do all the things one should do to have energy and not be super stressed and all that, but I'm failing miserably at it. I'm trying to prioritize things in my life, and I'm failing at that, too. Again, I think part of the problem right now is that because my parents are still here, I don't *have* to do a lot of the things that I need to do because the parents are there to pick up the slack, so I don't actually have to be organized or put things away or do any of the things I should be doing. And this is hindering me right now. And I guess so is being sick/plagued with allergy headaches and lethargy. Although who knows. I might be a total basketcase without them. We'll see what happens when they leave next week. Will I survive on my own? Or will the house tumble into chaos and the J finds me under a pile of clothes and uncooked meals? Stay tuned for the exciting adventures of the grown up who isn't.

My feelings of overwhelmedness have manifested themselves in lots of on-line shopping. I find that lately I am dissatisfied with all the things, and this is mostly appearance related. There are very few things in my closet that I a) feel comfortable in; 2) fit; 3) are both 1 & 2. Most of the stuff in there makes me look frumpy. Hardly any of my clothes fit right. They may fit, but they just don't look good. And I'm having an image crisis, too. Because few things of my "style" currently in my closet look good anymore, I wonder if it's not time for a change? Maybe I'm more self-conscious about it now because I'm a mom and I don't want to look like a middle aged mom? Nor do I want to look like a middle aged mom who is trying to look like a 20 year old sorority girl. Most things just seem to be ill-fitted because my body has changed since having a baby and from weight lifting. And maybe I just really have no sense of style (though I used to). Perhaps I'm just lazy. But it's starting to bother me. So lots of time this week window shopping on-line in an attempt not to be frumpy. I'd settle for frumpalicious, but I'm not even at that level.

That being said, I'm going to start on those midterms I took up today and hope that by immediately starting them that that keeps some stress at bay this weekend.