This girl needs to do some laundry because all she has is cranky pants right now.

I am in a foul mood. I'm annoyed at the world, my life, everything.

I got up at 4:30 to go Barbell Club. I'm woefully behind on everything for the 2pm class today, but I function significantly better when I workout, even if I'm behind. I can't imagine how much crankier I'd be right now. (And I'm typing this while my students take their exam. I can never get any meaningful work done during exam time anyway, so I'm taking this moment for myself). And I needed to throw around some very heavy weights this morning for my own sanity (I'll brag--15 backsquats at 140#. Yeah, I feel pretty tough). But here's the thing. I realized this morning how much wasted time happens during my mornings right now, especially on TR. When I get home, the J gets in the shower. Dad's usually in the other bathroom, so I have to wait until they're done in case the kid gets up. I get everyone's breakfast ready. Kid up by the time everyone is settled. Mom gets in and gets in the shower. Meanwhile, I'm still not ready for work yet. And it takes my mom an hour and a half to get ready in the morning, and they take the baby to daycare, so legitimately she does need to get ready when she gets back from her workout. I get the baby's lunch and everything ready. By 8:40 they're ready to leave, and I'm still in my workout clothes and haven't done a damn thing. So instead of being able to get to campus at 9 and get some work done, hours later, I'm still trying to get dressed and I'm resentful that the morning is over with and I've not had a chance to work.

I'm hoping, hoping that next week we can get some sort of schedule going for the three of us. On BBC days, the J will have to shower while I'm gone so I can get in the shower before Magpie gets up because I will be taking her to daycare. And I'd like to be dressed when I drop her off so I can head right to campus and get some work done.

MWF will be a bit different as she will have to come to the box with me for my workout, and I'll drop her off at daycare afterwards, then go home and get ready. That means she needs to be up and fed and ready to go on those days before we head to the workout, but either way, it *should* mean that I am able to get about an hour each morning for research because I haven't done shit yet. The thing that's going to suck is if we hit a groove, then the parents will be back, and maintaining that might be a struggle. They will respect the schedule though, but it means that I go back to not having a place to work at home because there's so little room.

Getting dinners done might be a struggle, too, but I will figure it out. It's a bit easier now with the Magpie because she's eating what we eat most of the time, so I don't have to cook anything special and make batches of food for her and freeze it and prep it. The only thing we do that for is breakfast, and that goes for all of us.

Anyway, I'm just full of piss and vinegar because I feel like everyone else's time is respected but mine, and even though they try to stay out of my way, it's not like they actually do, and I feel so f*cking guilty when I do work at home and everyone is home, but pissy when I can't get out to leave. Argh.

While it might be an adjustment, the J and I are looking forward to having some time to ourselves. I am so thankful and grateful for my parents being here and helping and cleaning and cooking and everything, but they need time to themselves and so do we, and I think it will be good all around, though I feel horribly guilty and extremely ungrateful for saying so.

On days like today, I just feel like I suck.