More thoughts and musings

I feel like I actually waste a lot of time. Maybe I should document how I spend a couple of days to see what it is I do do all day.

Like today, I could have gotten some stuff done this morning, but I took my time getting out the door. Perhaps sometimes one just needs to take ones time.

Saturday I had a meltdown sort of because the Magpie didn't nap. Then later that night I realized that I can't plan on getting things done on the weekend during her naps because they are likely not going to happen, especially on Saturdays when everyone is home because she doesn't want to miss anything. Plus, I need to be more present for her on the weekends anyway since our time during the week is not as much as I wish it were.

I'm trying to change how I look at my schedule. I hate my schedule actually, as I've mentioned, but it's the best schedule I could have for what I am willing to do and what I want to do.

Things are kind of hectic right now--J's out of town. My mom has a wicked case of acute sinusitis and hasn't slept in days, and bless her heart is doing laundry and the dishes because she is miserable and feels unproductive, but she's miserable and cranky which is stressful. And I'm trying not to feel ungrateful or overwhelmed at helping to care for her and a kid. Dad's here, and that helps because he can take mom to the dr. and whatnot, go to the grocery for me and stuff. But it's still stressful with all that sickness and misery in the house. I am trying to get better at making the most of my office hours, and although I hate multitasking, I'm justifying blogging because I'm also eating, so this is all part of lunch. I should be able to get about an hour and a half of reading though before class--reading for the abstract due on Thursday on a book I've never finished in the two previous attempts at reading it, but I have a great idea for it, so I want to get it done, but it's nearly 700 pages long. Good grief. It's good the J is gone this week because I won't feel guilt about reading and not spending time with him in the evenings. And since Dad's here, I won't feel bad about abandoning my mom to go read. And I'm doing my best to ward off the infection that caused Mom's sinusitis. I can feel it. Plugged head. Congestion. Headache. Grumpiness. Who has time for that though? Not I. So by sheer force of will, I will not end up with sinusitis. Or a sinus infection. Or anything else for that matter.

This morning I was hit with a brief but overwhelming sadness. I don't know why. I just almost started crying for no reason. I'm fine now, but I don't know what was up.

I guess all in all, things are okay on this end. I was nowhere near accomplishing what I had hoped this weekend or last week, but I've got time this week to do stuff: I just need to sit down and do it.

And now I'm done with lunch, so I'm looking forward to settling down with my book and knocking out some reading before I go teach.