My workout goal for the week is still four days. That leaves me tomorrow through Sunday to work out. I think that's doable, still.

I seem to have trouble writing/research and working out at the same time--I mean, not at the *same* time, but the weeks get skewed--I either consistently work out  or I consistently work. This week though, like two weeks ago, I've just been plagued with some bad sleep. I have though, in the last two days, written 1099 words. And that feels pretty good right now, let me tell you.

I can't believe I've never done this before, but I've started writing well before I am ready to and as I'm re/reading the background stuff I need for the article. I know. I feel like this is how just about every other prolific and successful academic does things, and honestly, my grad school papers might have been less stressful to write had I done it this way, but I'm a bit slow in the process. (Seriously, I feel like a decade behind everyone else). I know none of the secrets which is why I guess I am where I am. In any case, Karen over at TLQ was right--some of the writing I did this morning helped me to identify an area I might need to look into--not spend a lot of time on, but work checking out to make my argument stronger for this article.

One of the things helping, too, is that another publishing opportunity came my way this weekend. Like a big one. Huge. I will be part of a major project by a huge academic press. Even though more and more stuff keeps getting added to my plate, it's ironically relaxed me a little bit. I think one of the reasons why is because it has helped to re/validate me as a scholar. The last two years my identity has been solely that of mother. Which is fine. Don't get me wrong. I love being a mom. I love that little girl more than life itself, and while her illnesses are not serious in anyway, they are consistent and persistent and it's exhausting, and everything else gets put on the back burner, as it should. In the process though, I've never made the transition back to, even at least partly, as scholar. Teacher, yes. That took me about a year, but I finally found my grove there again, and the quarter is going rather well thus far, even after the first grades have been given back. But I haven't yet been able to re-enter my scholarly identity/life, and that stuff makes me happy. In my professional life, that's the part that makes me the happiest. So this grueling timeline, the six articles/proposals/book chapters I have to write by next September--the first three or four which will be drafted by end of December--has actually made me feel like I have a purpose as a scholar. Like there is hope here. Like I may actually succeed in putting together a successful tenure portfolio and application. And right now, that possibility is what is keeping me from the abyss of despair. It'd be nice to land a big article, and I still need to, but I do have a little bit of wiggle room here I think. (Or at least I'll find out in February if I'm totally f*cked).

I hope to do a little bit more writing today, but at least I've got some written already and under my belt. I can at least feel better at taking some time for the grad class and reading perhaps.

For the moment though, I'm going to hang out with the hubs before he has to go to work and start getting the lunches ready.