Meditation on the necessity of springtime.

I need springtime.

Historically, spring has been my least favorite season. It seems like some of the worst things in my life have happened during springtime. I never see it as a positive time of "rebirth" or "renewal," but rather a reminder that while the world is waking up from a winter slumber, I am still asleep. Now, there was something glorious about that first run when I wasn't under three layers of clothing--that made me feel free and light. But that's not enough to get one through an entire season. Summer made more sense. The heat, the enduring sun, perhaps in a way it is like winter in its punishment only you get to wear fewer clothes and you have less gear to lug around. I always used to prefer winter.

This year it is different, which is surprising to me because our winter wasn't harsh at all (by our standards). Last year was a long and cold winter (by our standards--and I've lived in places with harsh, uncompromising winters), and I was excited for the endurance of winter last year. This year, despite the early allergies and the early asthma attacks (and the steroid shot I've already received as a breathing treatment), I need spring to arrive. I need the spring forward of days that last until 8 pm. (Though I wish the sun came up earlier, like 5). I need lighter clothing and flip flops and tans. I need to know that the world is going to awake and be okay. I need to know that I am going to awake and be okay.