I can't even remember my last post here.
Well, we are officially in week 2 of the quarter, although last week, which was only 2 days, I'd say hardly counts as a week, and to be honest, I already feel like I'm in midterm week. That's how long this last week has been.
While my summer was somewhat relaxing and enjoyable and allowed me to focus on things other than academia, I'm regretting at this moment my poor lack of planning, focus, and discipline. I also regret spending the last two weeks not really thinking more fully and clearly about the abstract I have due today. I had a horribly crappy day Tuesday, which showed in the novel class, and feel a tremendous amount of pressure to redeem myself today.
Also, I feel fat. I'd say that our eating this weekend was 70-80% clean, but I think there are a few things going on here. I'm bloated as hell. In part from that 20-30%, in part from stress and not great sleep (my workouts are actually ok though), and I think I'm retaining a bunch of water because I think I've been in a steady state of dehydration all week. Generally I drink upwards around 128 oz of water a day (4 32-oz bottles), and lately, this week, I'm down to like less than one. And that's including the water I drink while I'm working out. So because I'm bloated like a beached whale, my clothes are tight which causes me anxiety. They shouldn't be. There's no reason for them to be. There's no reason for me to be bloated. Argh. My face is a mess. I dislike my hair cut and color. But I think I'm going to fix that color issue tomorrow afternoon. And my glasses are crooked, but I have to drive a half hour away to get them adjusted, and who has time for that? Anyway, who wants to hear about that? Whine, whine, whine.
Things have been a mess with J since the disaster deployment--he is still owed some time off, but he's had to go in early and come home late. I'm still trying to get into the pace of the new quarter and readjust to actually having to work (the pups are struggling with this, too). And man, you know April is not the cruelest month is you're an academic. It's September. While I'm thankful for the J's paycheck, it's just we're at the breaking point here. That stretch between June 1 and September 30 is just too long. Fortunately he gets paid tomorrow, but damn. I thought I had a handle on the finances. Turns out, right now, I clearly don't.
I'm trying to use my office hours judiciously here and get as much done on Sat and Sun mornings to make my life easier, but this weekend is going to be a mess. I've got to spend the office hours today finishing that abstract. And my first set of papers is coming in on Monday in two classes. Also, I've got to figure out what to get the J for his birthday, and we have people coming over for dinner Saturday. The house is a holy hot mess, and I have no idea when we are going to find time to clean. Sheesh!
All right, I'll quit complaining. I just don't ever remember being this stressed out ever at the beginning of a quarter/semester. It's throwing off my groove here. But whatever, I'll get through it. I think once I get this abstract done I'll feel better. And once the J's paycheck comes in in the morning, I'll feel better because then I can go grocery shopping. Yay! And I don't even have the first clue what I'm going to have for any of our meals today at all.
Okay, I'm going to finish prepping for class so that I can maybe alleviate that stress and get back to work on that damned abstract. Hope the rest of you guys out there are doing well!
xo,
maudie
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Rethinking my goals and possibilities
Well, I still have yet to actually get anything done or make any progress on anything so far this week, but today, I promise that changes!
While I am 100 million % not ready for school to start (as in I don't want to go back to work, and I'm totally unprepared for classes to begin), I think I actually NEED school to start so that I have some structure here.
Perhaps I need to rethink summers. I got more written and read during the year when I was teaching than I have during this whole time that I've not been teaching. Perhaps summer is not a good "catch up on all the stuff I didn't get done during the year time." Maybe I got pretty decent at getting work done during the year that I just don't want to do anything else during the summer.
Maybe that sounds like a total cop out. I know for 99% of you, summer is when stuff gets done even if you are productive during the year. I'm jealous of that, actually. I would have liked to have knocked out my articles this summer. But one thing that I'm really, I mean REALLY trying to work on right now is the way I think about things. I mean, I think what I need to do for next summer is set a goal right off the bat. I won't be teaching--let me rephrase that--I do not plan on teaching since the J has a job, so I feel confident in saying that I'm not going to teach next summer. I think what I need to do is just say, "okay, from 9-12, M-F, I work--I will read and write things related to the work I want to do." And I will have to have a plan before the end of Spring Quarter.
While I have been down on myself about the lack of academic stuff I've done this summer, I have enjoyed spending the summer focusing on myself. I've gotten really good at cooking and meal planning (not that I always meal plan). I've gotten closer to my fitness and health goals. All things that will have a positive effect on what I hope to get done during the year.
Even though I felt this was an all important summer on getting research done, I think that was part of the problem--total self sabotage in this area. I made the work momentous and huge and prematurely too important. If this were my fourth summer and I were still where I am, then yes, this summer probably would have made or broke me in terms of my ability to get tenure. But as often happens with me, I totally shut down under the weight of importance.
That being said, it is imperative that I get something out by the time Spring Quarter starts and that I do try to get something else out by next October. I feel confident that I can meet those goals, and that I'll still be making good progress toward the tenure qualifications. (I have about 34 of the required 50 page minimum right now. Trick will not be in the writing, but in getting things accepted--and by October, all 34 of those pages will actually be IN PRINT).
I like spending the summer learning and focusing on new, non-academic things. It's been refreshing not having to move, not having to deal with a deployment, not having to finish a dissertation while working at a crappy job or finishing a dissertation while scrapping by for food. This is the first summer I've had in a very long time that hasn't been filled with stress and anxiety requiring medication in one form or another. I've had my freak out moments (uh, like what Friday? Saturday?), and it hasn't all been puppies and rainbows, but maybe the chance to "just be" is what I needed. I'm healthier than I have been in my entire life.
So right now I need to map out a plan, some goals, a reading list, and deadlines (both long and short), come up with a plan of attack (I should do the same thing with our outstanding debt, too). I need to get to work on finishing those syllabi (the goal is to have them both done, with the schedule of assignments finished by Friday). And I need to get the first two novels for the novel class read by Saturday so I can be ahead of the game a little bit and start prepping them. I am freaking out a little bit about this class to be honest, but oh well. It's only 11 weeks.
And tomorrow I go start getting the "sugly" (summer ugly) sloughed off with a hair appointment, and I think I'm going to get my nails and toes done, too. Today though, I read and work on those syllabi.
While I am 100 million % not ready for school to start (as in I don't want to go back to work, and I'm totally unprepared for classes to begin), I think I actually NEED school to start so that I have some structure here.
Perhaps I need to rethink summers. I got more written and read during the year when I was teaching than I have during this whole time that I've not been teaching. Perhaps summer is not a good "catch up on all the stuff I didn't get done during the year time." Maybe I got pretty decent at getting work done during the year that I just don't want to do anything else during the summer.
Maybe that sounds like a total cop out. I know for 99% of you, summer is when stuff gets done even if you are productive during the year. I'm jealous of that, actually. I would have liked to have knocked out my articles this summer. But one thing that I'm really, I mean REALLY trying to work on right now is the way I think about things. I mean, I think what I need to do for next summer is set a goal right off the bat. I won't be teaching--let me rephrase that--I do not plan on teaching since the J has a job, so I feel confident in saying that I'm not going to teach next summer. I think what I need to do is just say, "okay, from 9-12, M-F, I work--I will read and write things related to the work I want to do." And I will have to have a plan before the end of Spring Quarter.
While I have been down on myself about the lack of academic stuff I've done this summer, I have enjoyed spending the summer focusing on myself. I've gotten really good at cooking and meal planning (not that I always meal plan). I've gotten closer to my fitness and health goals. All things that will have a positive effect on what I hope to get done during the year.
Even though I felt this was an all important summer on getting research done, I think that was part of the problem--total self sabotage in this area. I made the work momentous and huge and prematurely too important. If this were my fourth summer and I were still where I am, then yes, this summer probably would have made or broke me in terms of my ability to get tenure. But as often happens with me, I totally shut down under the weight of importance.
That being said, it is imperative that I get something out by the time Spring Quarter starts and that I do try to get something else out by next October. I feel confident that I can meet those goals, and that I'll still be making good progress toward the tenure qualifications. (I have about 34 of the required 50 page minimum right now. Trick will not be in the writing, but in getting things accepted--and by October, all 34 of those pages will actually be IN PRINT).
I like spending the summer learning and focusing on new, non-academic things. It's been refreshing not having to move, not having to deal with a deployment, not having to finish a dissertation while working at a crappy job or finishing a dissertation while scrapping by for food. This is the first summer I've had in a very long time that hasn't been filled with stress and anxiety requiring medication in one form or another. I've had my freak out moments (uh, like what Friday? Saturday?), and it hasn't all been puppies and rainbows, but maybe the chance to "just be" is what I needed. I'm healthier than I have been in my entire life.
So right now I need to map out a plan, some goals, a reading list, and deadlines (both long and short), come up with a plan of attack (I should do the same thing with our outstanding debt, too). I need to get to work on finishing those syllabi (the goal is to have them both done, with the schedule of assignments finished by Friday). And I need to get the first two novels for the novel class read by Saturday so I can be ahead of the game a little bit and start prepping them. I am freaking out a little bit about this class to be honest, but oh well. It's only 11 weeks.
And tomorrow I go start getting the "sugly" (summer ugly) sloughed off with a hair appointment, and I think I'm going to get my nails and toes done, too. Today though, I read and work on those syllabi.
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Moving Forward
I spent yesterday morning making a calendar for the next two weeks of things that I need to do in the next two weeks. It helped. And then I went and worked out, and I had a couple of successes in my training. That helped, too.
Even though Dr. Crazy pointed out the things I had accomplished this summer, I feel like this has been a long week of personal and professional/academic disappointments, false starts, failures. Yeah, it sounds melodramatic, I know, but it feels like this has been an especially crappy week. My point is, I'm glad that she pointed those things out. And the trainer at the box did the same thing to me too, so clearly I need to be focusing on the positives here and moving forward and building on the successes rather than wallowing in the disappointments.
And because it was all rainy, and I was still a little down yesterday off and on, and because I'm a total sucker for wanting to spend time with the J on Saturdays since he's a working man now, I did not accomplish the cleaning and stuff that needed to be done yesterday. However, when we get home from Gma and G'pa's, while he's grilling the food, I'm going to work on the guest room and stuff.
When I'm done with this post, I'm going to actually read. (I am almost an hour behind, but I need to blog and clear my head).
Plus, I was asked if I wanted to be on a SF panel (putting together a panel) for a conference which looks super freaking cool, and I so want to do it, so that has sort of given me the academic/professional push that I need right now (abstract is due in two weeks). I just decided that I am indeed going to work on an abstract for that. I find that these kinds of pushes to something immediate (for smaller projects) actually get me into a mindset for working on larger projects. However, the potential problem is that I haven't seen to make my way out of "smaller project" mode. But all of the conference abstracts that I want to work on ALL fit into one of the two larger projects on which I want to work, so the rationale is that these will jump start that research then. And that's what conference papers should do right? Lead into larger projects? Although that's been the rationale for the last two years, but oh well. After this I'll have no excuses then.
So that's it. I've got a deadline now to meet. I've got a goal. And I've got to sit down and figure out how all of this fits into the larger picture and then start chipping away at that. While I think my stress level just increased here, I think it's a good stress, and probably what I needed.
Even though Dr. Crazy pointed out the things I had accomplished this summer, I feel like this has been a long week of personal and professional/academic disappointments, false starts, failures. Yeah, it sounds melodramatic, I know, but it feels like this has been an especially crappy week. My point is, I'm glad that she pointed those things out. And the trainer at the box did the same thing to me too, so clearly I need to be focusing on the positives here and moving forward and building on the successes rather than wallowing in the disappointments.
And because it was all rainy, and I was still a little down yesterday off and on, and because I'm a total sucker for wanting to spend time with the J on Saturdays since he's a working man now, I did not accomplish the cleaning and stuff that needed to be done yesterday. However, when we get home from Gma and G'pa's, while he's grilling the food, I'm going to work on the guest room and stuff.
When I'm done with this post, I'm going to actually read. (I am almost an hour behind, but I need to blog and clear my head).
Plus, I was asked if I wanted to be on a SF panel (putting together a panel) for a conference which looks super freaking cool, and I so want to do it, so that has sort of given me the academic/professional push that I need right now (abstract is due in two weeks). I just decided that I am indeed going to work on an abstract for that. I find that these kinds of pushes to something immediate (for smaller projects) actually get me into a mindset for working on larger projects. However, the potential problem is that I haven't seen to make my way out of "smaller project" mode. But all of the conference abstracts that I want to work on ALL fit into one of the two larger projects on which I want to work, so the rationale is that these will jump start that research then. And that's what conference papers should do right? Lead into larger projects? Although that's been the rationale for the last two years, but oh well. After this I'll have no excuses then.
So that's it. I've got a deadline now to meet. I've got a goal. And I've got to sit down and figure out how all of this fits into the larger picture and then start chipping away at that. While I think my stress level just increased here, I think it's a good stress, and probably what I needed.
Saturday, August 25, 2012
End of Summer Blues
Well, so okay, this week has not gone according to plan at all! A couple of disappointments this week, some major exhaustion, a slightly pulled muscle (which, thanks to the oxymoron "rigorous stretching" is significantly better now), a total breakdown on Thursday afternoon resulting in lots of tears and wine (I have been exceptionally good about only drinking on Saturdays so I feel good and can get up early during the week). And well, you know, there it is. It's Saturday, and I'm trying to regroup. I need to get back into academic mode, and I'm resisting it whole-heartedly right now because I'm a) not ready for summer to be over; and, b) need more summer because I feel like I've failed in every aspect of my life this summer. I did not meet a single goal on any front at all this summer--not in terms of my health and fitness, not in terms of my scholarship, not in terms of my fall prep, not in terms of my finances, not in terms of anything on the home front either. And classes begin in 13 days. The house is a mess. I have too much stuff that I don't know what to do with. Some of it should be given away, but it's stuff I can't let go of, which is problem number 1--I should start with clothes--I really need to get rid of some clothes in a major way. And shoes. I need to donate some shoes, which is *really* hard for me because you know what if I get rid of something that comes back in style in 8 years? Then where will I be?
I have a stack of shredding that is seriously like up to my armpits.
I feel bombarded. This was supposed to be the summer of great things, the first summer where I actually accomplished something! Anything! On any front! This was the summer I was supposed to accomplish A LOT so that I could basically focus on teaching during the year and the next big project. I wanted to get shit done this summer so that this year would be a little bit less stressful. But, ah, once again. Not the case my friends.
Without sounding too melodramatic (because I am NEVER one for melodrama or histrionics, right?), I feel like I must now pick up the millions of pieces of my shattered summer dreams and figure out how to assemble them all in a sane way during the year.
First and foremost what needs to happen though is that my living space gets in order. That really needs to be part of today's project. Clothes need to be put away. Clothes and shoes need to be donated. My reading/work space needs to be set up. And the office needs to be cleaned out and what not. Maybe I can put the J to the task of shredding all this crap, and he's got bills and paperwork that's his that he needs to go through. Of course, he can't get to any of it because I've got the office in a holy hell state of a total mess.
Sigh. Now I'm overwhelmed just thinking about this. It's driving me batty.
what I need to do is what I did last winter and spring. I started making calendars. And while I didn't follow them to the letter, seeing that I had specific time blocked out for specific tasks helped keep me from feeling overwhelmed. Even if there were a lot of things on the calendar, just being able to see, with time blocked out, that there was enough time to do what needed to be done and still be able to you know, cook, watch t.v. with the husband, work out, etc., I think really kept me from going bananas. Plus, the satisfaction of crossing things off, right? The instant gratification of of x-ing off something on the list totally helps the stress level.
All right, well there it is. I'm going to start working on the calendar for the next two weeks here and see if I can't make myself feel better about getting some stuff done.
I have a stack of shredding that is seriously like up to my armpits.
I feel bombarded. This was supposed to be the summer of great things, the first summer where I actually accomplished something! Anything! On any front! This was the summer I was supposed to accomplish A LOT so that I could basically focus on teaching during the year and the next big project. I wanted to get shit done this summer so that this year would be a little bit less stressful. But, ah, once again. Not the case my friends.
Without sounding too melodramatic (because I am NEVER one for melodrama or histrionics, right?), I feel like I must now pick up the millions of pieces of my shattered summer dreams and figure out how to assemble them all in a sane way during the year.
First and foremost what needs to happen though is that my living space gets in order. That really needs to be part of today's project. Clothes need to be put away. Clothes and shoes need to be donated. My reading/work space needs to be set up. And the office needs to be cleaned out and what not. Maybe I can put the J to the task of shredding all this crap, and he's got bills and paperwork that's his that he needs to go through. Of course, he can't get to any of it because I've got the office in a holy hell state of a total mess.
Sigh. Now I'm overwhelmed just thinking about this. It's driving me batty.
what I need to do is what I did last winter and spring. I started making calendars. And while I didn't follow them to the letter, seeing that I had specific time blocked out for specific tasks helped keep me from feeling overwhelmed. Even if there were a lot of things on the calendar, just being able to see, with time blocked out, that there was enough time to do what needed to be done and still be able to you know, cook, watch t.v. with the husband, work out, etc., I think really kept me from going bananas. Plus, the satisfaction of crossing things off, right? The instant gratification of of x-ing off something on the list totally helps the stress level.
All right, well there it is. I'm going to start working on the calendar for the next two weeks here and see if I can't make myself feel better about getting some stuff done.
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Busy, yet unproductive summer
Wow! Has it really been that long since I've last posted? Oh my dear little blog! I missed you! Is there anyone out there still checking in??
We've been busy over here at Chez Maude. Unfortunately, not busy with the work we should be doing, but busy nonetheless.
Actually, right now, I'm starting to lament the passing of summer into the Fall Quarter, which fortunately for me is still a couple of weeks away, and I need those two weeks like nothin' doin', yo.
And I'm stressed about the fact that I've accomplished very very very little this summer, once again, after I had deemed it an ALL IMPORTANT SUMMER FOR WORK! that just did not see fruition.
There are three big things that I really need to do before the quarter starts:
The plan then is to read/work in the morning and clean/organize/purge/donate in the afternoons. But since the husband is off on Mondays, tomorrow he's helping me do the cabinets and the kitchen, and then get to work in the guest room and go through his clothes for the donation pile.
And I promise to be a better blogger. :)
We've been busy over here at Chez Maude. Unfortunately, not busy with the work we should be doing, but busy nonetheless.
Actually, right now, I'm starting to lament the passing of summer into the Fall Quarter, which fortunately for me is still a couple of weeks away, and I need those two weeks like nothin' doin', yo.
And I'm stressed about the fact that I've accomplished very very very little this summer, once again, after I had deemed it an ALL IMPORTANT SUMMER FOR WORK! that just did not see fruition.
- I had two course proposals I wanted to write. Neither of those happened.
- I had one little article and two big ones I wanted to write/research/get started on. The little one happened, was accepted, went through some minor revisions, and should be out in the fall. However, I needed a big one in the works to be ready by October or November, and well, now here we are.
- I had a ton of books that I needed and wanted to read for research and for the fall prep. --I've read two books. Just two in their entirety. I've started three others, but yeah. Harumph.
- I had hoped by the end of summer that I would have reached my weight loss and fitness goals. I'm still moving forward toward them, but it is much slower than I anticipated. Seriously. It's annoying, and I talk to the trainer about it, and it's a lot to do with me getting out of my own head and focusing more on the fitness than the numbers on the scale, but it's frustrating. At least the people at the box and the husband are supportive cheerleaders who "get it."
There are three big things that I really need to do before the quarter starts:
- Prep as much of the new stuff for the new class that I can before the quarter starts.
- Write my syllabi.
- Finish the great reorganization/cleaning/donation project of summer 2012 that has been ongoing for the last two months.
The plan then is to read/work in the morning and clean/organize/purge/donate in the afternoons. But since the husband is off on Mondays, tomorrow he's helping me do the cabinets and the kitchen, and then get to work in the guest room and go through his clothes for the donation pile.
And I promise to be a better blogger. :)
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Some positive things
Okay, so I actually got some work done this week! Not nearly what I intended, of course, but I did manage to finish the little pedagogy article on Thursday, and the editor already responded very favorably toward ti. Ze suggested some optional revisions, but if I thought they were stupid, ze is ready to publish the article for the fall "as is." Yay for that weight off my shoulders. So I'm going to tinker with it and get hir something by Tuesday at the latest.
So far well behind what I had outlined for myself for this summer. I honestly had not anticipated how much energy and time it would consume to teach a summer class AND to spend about six weeks in a steady state of panic about summer finances. Last month seemed to be off to a decent start when we found out about the husband's job and I got some extra money, but then we didn't hear anything else about his job for weeks, and then I freaked out because I felt foolish for all of our spending in getting things for the house and getting things for ourselves that we had been putting off and putting off and putting off. And it looked like if the job were real that we were looking at a late August or September start date which didn't help with the financial issues at all. So I've really spent the last two weeks freaking out about that, pacing, sleeping, doing everything but work because work means sitting still and reading or writing which leads to reflection which leads to panic and anxiety and halts productivity. I made the husband call the new unit to find out what was going on, if he still had the job, if it really was real.
He starts next Wednesday which means two paychecks by September 1. Whew. Relief. I can pay our bills for August and September and we can still eat. I can't wait until the end of September when we both have paychecks and I can start trying to get us out of debt. Won't that be special??
I have six days left on the Whole30. I believe I have lost some inches because in the last 10 days I've been able to get into a skirt I haven't been able to wear in three years, a pair of pants that has NEVER fit, and shorts that I've not been able to wear in three years either. I assume I am shrinking, but I can neither weigh myself nor do my measurements until next Saturday morning, on Day 31. The exercise stuff is going amazingly, except in the past week I've given myself frostbite, I bruised my chest doing power cleans, I tore some skin off my hands practicing my kipping for my pullups, and yesterday, my brain wanted one thing and my body wanted another and I ate the box on which I was jumping, and now I have a sweet ass bruise on my shin and a cut. At least the injuries are going down in severity. The husband is worried though that the injuries will eventually cause suspicion and he'll be investigated. I told him not to worry that there were plenty of witnesses at the box who can attest to how I got my injuries. It's still wicked fun, and my injuries make me feel tough, even if it does mean I'm going to look like the quarterback princess at prom for my cousin's wedding in a couple of weeks.
While I had two ideas for my next two things that I wanted to work on, I think I need to switch my plans around. I need to regroup here, figure out a plan of attack for August, and then figure out how I'm going to get done what I need to by the time Winter Quarter starts. Part of that is going to involve getting my office space cleaned up. And honestly, now that the husband has a job, in theory I should be able to get more stuff done in the afternoons because he won't be home until about 6 most days I think, so that does give me a lot of time T-F to get stuff done without him distracting me.
Furthermore, my parents are coming in next weekend, so I've got to get some of that madness taken care of too in the guest room.
Oh, and I sent an email to my student with the incomplete, in which I copied both my boss and the registrar, explaining that if I didn't have the rest of hir work by yesterday, that since I had family obligations and trips planned for the next five weeks, I couldn't guarantee that I'd get to hir work in the most timely manner after yesterday, so if ze had to contest hir scholarship before the quarter started, I'd be able to get hir stuff graded before Monday if ze turned it all in, otherwise, I couldn't guarantee that I'd even be in the state to turn in the grade change form. The registrar responded very kindly to me saying that he "had my back," which was nice since he ended up on the shit side of the stick a few weeks ago, too. And lo and behold! Stu turned in hir work Thursday, which I promptly graded and immediately went to campus to submit the form! I'm done with Stu! Yay!!
Oy, I've got a long weekend ahead of me while the husband is at drill.
So far well behind what I had outlined for myself for this summer. I honestly had not anticipated how much energy and time it would consume to teach a summer class AND to spend about six weeks in a steady state of panic about summer finances. Last month seemed to be off to a decent start when we found out about the husband's job and I got some extra money, but then we didn't hear anything else about his job for weeks, and then I freaked out because I felt foolish for all of our spending in getting things for the house and getting things for ourselves that we had been putting off and putting off and putting off. And it looked like if the job were real that we were looking at a late August or September start date which didn't help with the financial issues at all. So I've really spent the last two weeks freaking out about that, pacing, sleeping, doing everything but work because work means sitting still and reading or writing which leads to reflection which leads to panic and anxiety and halts productivity. I made the husband call the new unit to find out what was going on, if he still had the job, if it really was real.
He starts next Wednesday which means two paychecks by September 1. Whew. Relief. I can pay our bills for August and September and we can still eat. I can't wait until the end of September when we both have paychecks and I can start trying to get us out of debt. Won't that be special??
I have six days left on the Whole30. I believe I have lost some inches because in the last 10 days I've been able to get into a skirt I haven't been able to wear in three years, a pair of pants that has NEVER fit, and shorts that I've not been able to wear in three years either. I assume I am shrinking, but I can neither weigh myself nor do my measurements until next Saturday morning, on Day 31. The exercise stuff is going amazingly, except in the past week I've given myself frostbite, I bruised my chest doing power cleans, I tore some skin off my hands practicing my kipping for my pullups, and yesterday, my brain wanted one thing and my body wanted another and I ate the box on which I was jumping, and now I have a sweet ass bruise on my shin and a cut. At least the injuries are going down in severity. The husband is worried though that the injuries will eventually cause suspicion and he'll be investigated. I told him not to worry that there were plenty of witnesses at the box who can attest to how I got my injuries. It's still wicked fun, and my injuries make me feel tough, even if it does mean I'm going to look like the quarterback princess at prom for my cousin's wedding in a couple of weeks.
While I had two ideas for my next two things that I wanted to work on, I think I need to switch my plans around. I need to regroup here, figure out a plan of attack for August, and then figure out how I'm going to get done what I need to by the time Winter Quarter starts. Part of that is going to involve getting my office space cleaned up. And honestly, now that the husband has a job, in theory I should be able to get more stuff done in the afternoons because he won't be home until about 6 most days I think, so that does give me a lot of time T-F to get stuff done without him distracting me.
Furthermore, my parents are coming in next weekend, so I've got to get some of that madness taken care of too in the guest room.
Oh, and I sent an email to my student with the incomplete, in which I copied both my boss and the registrar, explaining that if I didn't have the rest of hir work by yesterday, that since I had family obligations and trips planned for the next five weeks, I couldn't guarantee that I'd get to hir work in the most timely manner after yesterday, so if ze had to contest hir scholarship before the quarter started, I'd be able to get hir stuff graded before Monday if ze turned it all in, otherwise, I couldn't guarantee that I'd even be in the state to turn in the grade change form. The registrar responded very kindly to me saying that he "had my back," which was nice since he ended up on the shit side of the stick a few weeks ago, too. And lo and behold! Stu turned in hir work Thursday, which I promptly graded and immediately went to campus to submit the form! I'm done with Stu! Yay!!
Oy, I've got a long weekend ahead of me while the husband is at drill.
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Misc. & Sundry Things
Okay, so maybe now I'm starting to freak out a little bit. I've not gotten nearly anything I wanted to get done this summer yet--including the self-imposed deadline for the small article. As the editor doesn't need it until the end of the month, well, here I am--I haven't looked at it since I wrote it, and now I'm 9 days away from having to turn that bad boy in, and I've made no progress. Because the J was supposed to be in class all day or at a job, well, now he's home all day, and while I love having him around, it's bad for my productivity. And it's not totally his fault. I mean, there's soooooooooo much stuff to do around this house! So much to clean, so much food to prep, so much organization to do, STILL boxes to be broken down, clothes to go to Goodwill. I mean, I could spend eight hours of cleaning a day and organizing and throwing stuff out and donating and whatnot, and I'd be occupied, seriously, for like three weeks. Next week though, I'm going to have to take the week off from housework and all things house related so I can finish the article and make some headway on my research here. I have to give myself a tiny bit of credit for just now figuring out how to order my own desk copies for my fall class.
It's July, and I haven't done anything really.
I keep saying, "But the house needs to be in order before fall; the house needs to be in order before fall," which is layered under "the house needs to be in order NOW" which thwarts my work, and all my great "reorganization" projects just leave half the place in greater disarray than before! Egads! Maybe what I need to do is devote today to the guest room and the office and be done with it for good so I have no more excuse you know? I'm more of a mess than I like to think.
The J hasn't started work yet which is starting to stress me out because no one knows when he's supposed to in-process. The only thing keeping me from full on panic is a) he's not worried, and b) the people who got the jobs in the other units are all in the same boat, so at least three other people are limbo for their in-processing, too. With any luck though, he'll start at the next pay cycle. It sucks because if they push it off any longer, than he could have stayed in school. ARGH! Sometimes the military just makes me so freaking crazy!!
Outside of academics and the great reorganization/purging project of the summer of 2012, other things are going well. As I mentioned I bought new running shoes for the first time in a year and new work out shoes for the first time in 7 months. Yesterday I bought new work out clothes for the first time in a year as well! So now I have shorts to get me through an entire week of work outs and a couple of more sports bras. Last week I got into my mini jean skirt that I haven't been able to wear since 2010, and even then I only wore it once or twice. I tried it on in May and it did not fit at all, so that's cool. And it looked pretty good, too. CrossFit is going really well, although I fear that the trainer thinks I "like" him, which I'm sure he's aware that ALL the women there have crushes on him. However, I am almost always the last.one.there. I always do the "Ca$h Out" work out,* and I'm almost always the last one there finishing it. And then I have to stretch. It's the only thing keeping me from total body breakdown here.
But see, I see the box as a classroom. I thrive in classroom environments. And as I mentioned, the thing about the CrossFit box is that everyone who work outs there does the same work out as everyone else; we all work toward a common goal, and our times go up on the board. I am a teacher/coach/professor pleaser especially if it's a class I like, right? As I have competition aspirations, my behavior at the box is totally as one who is vying to be the teacher's pet. It's sad in a way I think, but it's also because even in the outside world, I struggle to be taken seriously. And right now, I'm like the least strong when it comes to Olympic style weight lifting than all the other females, and I HATE being last! And while we all compete against each other though, we're all very supportive of each other and what we all can accomplish. It's very symbiotic--bettering oneself betters the community and the bettering of the community betters oneself. And that's how CrossFit refers to itself--as a community. And it prides itself on fostering that community. It's service oriented, too believe it or not. Lots of people who quit their jobs to devote their time to CrossFit find some way to work CrossFit into some kind of community based non-prof. Anyway, you are all probably already sick of hearing me go on and on about this.
I have found though that it clearly is filling some kind of need/void though. I get to interact with people outside of campus, outside of my department, outside of academia. I get to do something that makes me feel really good and do that around other people who get it. And on the days I do get work done, I actually get a lot done because I feel better, I can focus, and I have more energy to do that stuff. For a while I don't have to be Dr. Maude, which isn't a bad thing at all, and granted, that is the largest part of my identity, but it's not everything. It shouldn't be everything all the time either I don't think. Anyway, this has all veered off from where I started the post, and as class is in a little bit on this Saturday morning, I should get going.
I think what needs to happen this weekend though is I figure out a schedule for the coming week and what I want to accomplish by the end of the week for work so I get that done.
Have a wonderful weekend all!
*it's the post work out work out where you drain whatever you have left in you.
It's July, and I haven't done anything really.
I keep saying, "But the house needs to be in order before fall; the house needs to be in order before fall," which is layered under "the house needs to be in order NOW" which thwarts my work, and all my great "reorganization" projects just leave half the place in greater disarray than before! Egads! Maybe what I need to do is devote today to the guest room and the office and be done with it for good so I have no more excuse you know? I'm more of a mess than I like to think.
The J hasn't started work yet which is starting to stress me out because no one knows when he's supposed to in-process. The only thing keeping me from full on panic is a) he's not worried, and b) the people who got the jobs in the other units are all in the same boat, so at least three other people are limbo for their in-processing, too. With any luck though, he'll start at the next pay cycle. It sucks because if they push it off any longer, than he could have stayed in school. ARGH! Sometimes the military just makes me so freaking crazy!!
Outside of academics and the great reorganization/purging project of the summer of 2012, other things are going well. As I mentioned I bought new running shoes for the first time in a year and new work out shoes for the first time in 7 months. Yesterday I bought new work out clothes for the first time in a year as well! So now I have shorts to get me through an entire week of work outs and a couple of more sports bras. Last week I got into my mini jean skirt that I haven't been able to wear since 2010, and even then I only wore it once or twice. I tried it on in May and it did not fit at all, so that's cool. And it looked pretty good, too. CrossFit is going really well, although I fear that the trainer thinks I "like" him, which I'm sure he's aware that ALL the women there have crushes on him. However, I am almost always the last.one.there. I always do the "Ca$h Out" work out,* and I'm almost always the last one there finishing it. And then I have to stretch. It's the only thing keeping me from total body breakdown here.
But see, I see the box as a classroom. I thrive in classroom environments. And as I mentioned, the thing about the CrossFit box is that everyone who work outs there does the same work out as everyone else; we all work toward a common goal, and our times go up on the board. I am a teacher/coach/professor pleaser especially if it's a class I like, right? As I have competition aspirations, my behavior at the box is totally as one who is vying to be the teacher's pet. It's sad in a way I think, but it's also because even in the outside world, I struggle to be taken seriously. And right now, I'm like the least strong when it comes to Olympic style weight lifting than all the other females, and I HATE being last! And while we all compete against each other though, we're all very supportive of each other and what we all can accomplish. It's very symbiotic--bettering oneself betters the community and the bettering of the community betters oneself. And that's how CrossFit refers to itself--as a community. And it prides itself on fostering that community. It's service oriented, too believe it or not. Lots of people who quit their jobs to devote their time to CrossFit find some way to work CrossFit into some kind of community based non-prof. Anyway, you are all probably already sick of hearing me go on and on about this.
I have found though that it clearly is filling some kind of need/void though. I get to interact with people outside of campus, outside of my department, outside of academia. I get to do something that makes me feel really good and do that around other people who get it. And on the days I do get work done, I actually get a lot done because I feel better, I can focus, and I have more energy to do that stuff. For a while I don't have to be Dr. Maude, which isn't a bad thing at all, and granted, that is the largest part of my identity, but it's not everything. It shouldn't be everything all the time either I don't think. Anyway, this has all veered off from where I started the post, and as class is in a little bit on this Saturday morning, I should get going.
I think what needs to happen this weekend though is I figure out a schedule for the coming week and what I want to accomplish by the end of the week for work so I get that done.
Have a wonderful weekend all!
*it's the post work out work out where you drain whatever you have left in you.
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