I've spent a whole lot of time in my head this last week since I've been really sick. Now that I'm feeling better I find that I'm really depressed again. Perhaps it's still from lack of sleep (although admittedly, we all have been getting more this week! Yay!) and from being sick and just feeling down, but I'm sort of stuck in this place where I'm trying to figure out what I'm supposed to be doing. Ideally, in a perfect world, I'd have a healthy baby, we'd be out of debt and with only one house, I'd quit my job and be a SAHM, and I'd write.
I think the thing that bothers me is that I spend more time focusing on the ideal rather than my reality and the conflict between the two depresses me because I don't know how to make the ideal into the real.
Even though we're still about four and a half years away from the Magpie going to school, I am nearly paralyzed with fear about her going to school because there are too many assholes with guns out there. I panic over the possibility of a stray bullet ripping through her head during breakfast like that poor little girl in Omaha.
These are the things on my mind today.