Frustrations mount over here.

My biggest problem right now is sleep, as in even when I do seem to get enough, it's not enough. I am completely out of sorts. What doesn't help is beating myself up over it especially since I started off so well in the beginning of the quarter. Then we take Magpie to the doctor, have an exhausting day, and I freak out about her allergy diagnosis, take on the burden all on my own, and emotionally drain myself and then physically drain myself with the cleaning and organizing and stuff.

The problem with this? (Aside from the obvious--) even after weeks of cleaning and organizing and donating and trashing, I am still overflowing with stuff. Seriously. Let me preface by saying the stuff that I have done--the closet, the bathroom, the chest of drawers, and the couple of sections of the kitchen look great and are super easy to maintain. Seriously. So at least I've got that going for me. I mean, the KonMari way is fantastic. Getting there though,which she admits is about a six month process, and we all know how amazingly patient I am. But still, like seriously, like a dozen bags of clothes later (counting this summer's haul), and I'm still busting at the seams.

I'm frustrated, exhausted, and overwhelmed again. And there's a ton of stuff to do.

I'm also angry and annoyed at some things. I am becoming disillusioned with some things/some people, and maybe that's the hardest thing right now. I'm taking some things personally that weren't meant for me personally, but the sweeping generalizations made by my "friends" often include me in that category, and it's bothersome. (Could that be a more cryptic and passive sentence?). I think what I need to do is step back for a few weeks. I need to take a break from some things, readjust, and find my focus.

A couple of things I noticed--my happiest this past month? Those two weeks I was writing along with reading/researching and doing stuff. This reaffirms what I know: I'm happiest when I write. I need an almost daily writing goal, even if it's only 15 minutes.

CF, for whatever reason (in part because of some of the people above), is not working for me right now. And you know I'm a huge fan and love lifting. I need a break. My form is suffering because I'm not into it right now, and well, I need to step back. It's a golden sin in CF to talk about how I much I miss running, but I miss running. Right now, I just want to run. And do yoga. I think what it is I crave is the meditative qualities of those two activities for me, and since I feel so out of balance in all that I'm trying to do, that's what I need. I need to be active, but I need to be active alone. I have a feasible work out plan/schedule that I feel will be beneficial. Also, I'm either pushing too hard or something during CF because I don't leave feeling invigorated like I usually do. I feel beat, and being wiped out at 6 am makes for a long, unproductive day. Perhaps that's part of the problem. I'm working too hard at it, and that's not the best thing.

What will also be beneficial is for me to finish the damn article. I'm still shooting for Wednesday to get it to my mentor. It will need work. I feel it's forced and clunky and in the end probably not as good an idea on paper as it is in my head, but for what it's worth, I'm going to see it through.

There's a lot to do today. So, I need to get to it. Here's to a productive and happy weekend to all you out there.