So, freshman essays. I can't seem to get my shit going together for that one. I actually was on a roll yesterday, but, and I HATE this, but here's what slowed me down:
Winter quarter evals.
They were stellar across the three classes. In a few cases I was well above the department and uni average. BUT, one kid, one bad comment, and I cried. It destroyed my day.
As unconventional as I am, NO ONE has EVER called me unprofessional. EVER. That is the one thing I pride myself on. While I may be a total dork and a complete goofball in front of the class, while I even may occasionally curse (things like "yeah, this character totally called bullshit on that character"; or, "so and so character totally got his ass handed to him in this scene, and rightfully so."), I am not unprofessional. Unprofessional means that I degrade students. That I don't give feedback. That I hang on to their stuff. That I don't do my job. That I penalize them for not sharing my opinions. I try to be as transparent as possible, and I know I go above and beyond most of my colleagues with the revision opportunities I give them (even for dinky assignments), and go beyond what I should be telling them pretty much exactly what's on their exams without actually giving them the exam to study. It also indicates that I'm doing something inappropriate which I associate with something along the lines of harassment or something of that nature. I tell jokes, but they are clean and 99% of the time involve some sort of bad pun (a clean one). My students know nothing of my sexual life, my drinking life--because those are inappropriate and unprofessional topics-- my non-academic life beyond that I have a husband and that I am old enough to get into bars. If alcohol ever comes up, I give a PSA about not drinking until it's legal and to always be safe and have a DD. Clearly, obviously, this has totally shattered me. But the student, if I remember the comment correctly though ended with something really passive aggressive (or at least to me) like, "but I guess you can tell that she really enjoys teaching." WTF?
That comment totally shut me down pretty much for the day. It took me 30 minutes to get through the essay I was grading (which didn't warrant 30 minutes--it seriously only needed about 12 minutes), got in the car, told the husband, immediately began crying and then took a nap, and kind of slogged and pouted through my workout, and then just moped through the rest of my work for the night. Completely shut down over that.
I should focus I guess on the fact that for 99% of the other students, at least the ones who bothered to comment, I am doing something right.
I'm still kind of down about it--clearly. It's ridiculous because I can't let it interfere with my work, because that would be unprofessional.
Here's what's left to do:
Grade 4/8 Freshman essays as soon as done blogging. Grade last 4 Freshman essays during office hours.I was on a roll! I finished them! Huzzah! I'm so glad that's done! Finish prep for lit class during remaining office hours.
- Work out.
Go to thing on campus tonight.
- Call eye doctor and find out where contacts are.
- Get in touch with landlord again.
- Do work out early before class.
Prep for Friday's class during office hours. Grade lit analyses that come in today. Meet with students during the afternoon. Meeting. Crash from exhaustion.
- Meet with students during office hours.
- Do nothing after teaching.--this may be modified for working out because nothing happened on Wednesday; nothing's happening today.
- Hair appt.