9.5 Months is a long time to be knocked up.

I know I sound like a broken record, but it's been a long, shitty week here. Not only is it hot as fuck (which I usually like the heat--I like to go out an run when it's 100 degrees, so in general, heat is fine), but I've been sick. And on top of being sick, whatever it was that invaded my sinuses and chest cavity and lungs triggered a series of asthma attacks! I've not had an asthma attack in TEN YEARS! TEN YEARS!! The OB had to call in an inhaler for me. My first inhaler in a decade. Wow. On top of that, I still have a cold, so even though the inhaler helped open the airways, the postnasal drip kept tickling my throat every time I laid down to try to sleep last night, which made me cough, which then triggered another asthma attack. Poor J is getting less sleep than I am because of this, and I feel bad that he has to work all day. In general I hate taking medicine as it is, but right now, I'm trying to be really careful about taking medicine, but my well-being is tied to the Magpie's well-being, so it does no one good for me to not sleep, for me to be hacking all night, and for me to have hurt my ribs from the violent coughing! Argh! I am a total hot mess here! I mean my ribs are so freaking sore that they hurt just to be touched. Since I've spent all week in bed, my blood pressure has skyrocketed. Granted, it's what would be "normal" for the average person, but it's really high for me, so since I've got the inhaler and I'm feeling better, and I'm freaking ready for the kid to get here, I will start walking daily. I've accomplished absolutely nothing this week because I've been sick, and I'm sure that's affected my blood pressure as well because I want to get things done, but I'm exhausted and can't breathe.

Seriously, my ribs have never ever hurt like this before. And I had forgotten how much asthma truly truly sucks.

Not that these things are predictable by any stretch of the word, but the doctor indicated yesterday that the possibility of the kid getting here next week is very real. However, if it's not here by my next doctor's appointment and everything looks good, then the doc threw out the possibility of inducing me late next Sunday night and having the kid on Monday the 24th. I did not hesitate with my "YES! Let's do that!" Now, before anyone freaks out about my choosing inducing over spontaneous labor, yes, I know there are lots of reasons not to induce and many many benefits of waiting for spontaneous labor, and I do truly hope that labor happens on its own before the 24th. But my doctor knows my fears, concerns, and anxieties, and while I've had problems with his office and that surly bitch nurse, if he gives the go ahead for it, then I do trust him. Labor doesn't bother me. Pain doesn't bother me. Discomfort, yes, I'll complain about that all day, but pain, I can handle. (and honestly, I know I've been complaining about my ribs, but I feel like anyone else would be sidelined. I mean, I know I've done some damage here). I've done lots of reading and considering, so I am confident that I'm making an informed decision here.

What I like least is uncertainty (says the woman who wouldn't find out the sex of the child). If I know that something will happen in 10 days, then I can plan, prepare, and relax, and that, ultimately is better for me, which I argue is better then for the kid. So, there it is. I feel good about this. Do I hope that this happens spontaneously before the 24th? Yes. But do I take comfort in knowing that something will happen by the 24th? Most certainly. And this is the most relaxed I've felt in 3 weeks.