I'm up earlier this morning than usual--well, I'm up and about earlier this morning than usual, even though this is usually the time I start getting ready for class (at the last possible minute), but, and this may be TMI, I went to be partially engorged and have woken up engorged so whether I had time to, I needed to pump. I am still, 20 minutes in, in a lot of pain. It freaking sucks.
Also, I have some sort of abscess in my nose. I know, that's gross. Like any of you want to wake up to my body's problems today.
At least the Magpie is responding rather quickly to the antibiotics for her ear infection, and I did manage to get some sort of sleep last night. I have to confess though, this month has left me more exhausted, hungry, and resentful than ever. Part of me wishes that I had just gone ahead and made the decision to formula feed the Magpie a month ago rather than going through what I've gone through for the last month for the off chance I might get to start nursing her again. I think I might actually be a lot happier, but then I'd regret not having tried.
However, what I regret now is all the time I've missed with her because I've had to go sit in the bedroom and pump. Like this morning. If I hadn't had to go pump, I could have spent a little bit more time with her and gotten to watch her laugh. I could hear her giggling back here and my mom and dad cooing over her and laughing with her. But no, I missed it. I keep missing things like that. And since she's been sick, I relish those really happy moments she has. But no. I'm stuck back her like a cow hooked to a dairy machine. I'm tired. I'm miserable. And I'm starving.
But tomorrow we go to the pediatrician, so we'll see what happens then.
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