Thursday, May 16, 2013

On the end of the quarter and working out.

Do you know how good it feels right now to be able to sit here and blog? All I have to do today is write a quick letter of recommendation, which I don't think will take me longer than an hour because I have a template for the teacher's college L.O.R.s, so all I have to do is plug some stuff in and tailor it to the student, but I won't have to start from scratch. Shady? I don't know. It's worked so far for the students, so I must be doing something right, or at least not hurting them. It's the best I can do this quarter.

But that's it. I have the day off for the first time in months.

And as I have been busting my ass for the last two weeks in order to stay on top of the grading, it finally paid off yesterday. I am totally, 100% completely caught up. It involved grading while the students were watching the movie in the survey class this week, and I'm thankful for that extra time. It also means that yesterday afternoon, since the upper division classes are over for the quarter, I calculated and uploaded those grades. There were two students who hadn't turned in their papers, and while the last day of classes is tomorrow, their essays were due last Friday, and we finished class yesterday, then well, if the class is over, then well, I don't know what to tell them. One student I possibly could have worked with had ze contacted me last week, but waited until four days after hir presentation and final paper were due to contact me, well, sorry. It's a sad tale, but still. I don't care right now if I'm heartless. And as a result of busting my ass for 2 weeks, I just conked out yesterday afternoon.

Anyhoo, what all of this means is that all I have to do tomorrow is grade objective in class exams tomorrow. And I'll be able to grade them as the students turn them in, and the 8 am class will be done before the 12:30 class takes its exam, and I may very well be done by 3 pm tomorrow afternoon. I should be able to achieve my goal! And that's it and that's all folks!

So I mentioned Tuesday that I would talk about working out still. I think I may have 3-4 weeks left in me with the CrossFit before this kid comes. Perhaps it will be a bit easier once I don't have school and once there's a 9 am class again for the summer.

I quit working out first thing in the morning. I was waaaaaay too tired and not sleeping well enough to get up at 4:30 am for the 5 am class. It was fine before the overload because I had TR off, but working 5 days a week I just couldn't keep it up. So I switched to the afternoon class. I found that even if I was tired, I could have a good workout, and the benefit was that I could come home, eat, and then rest, so for a while, I was able to keep up with 3x a week. Well, until last week when I had to decide whether I wanted to spend the afternoons plowing through grading or go work out. If I weren't pregnant, I wouldn't have had to make that choice. But I live in a state of constant negotiations with my body and energy level. And while physically the exercise would have been better for me (I started to really feel it after 10 days of no work out), but mentally, oh man, nothing felt better than getting the grading done.

There was a conflict between my motivations. I'm highly motivated to be done by tomorrow--there was no way in hell I was dragging the grading out to next Tuesday. I'm also highly motivated to reduce my chances for a c-section. While I know determining weight in the womb can be very inaccurate, this kid has been measuring big from the beginning. So I want to do everything in my power to prepare my body in any way I can to reduce those chances. I will NOT let the doc schedule one, and I'd rather not be induced. But it's still early for that yet.

As a result, I've been much more vigilant about my work outs and about my diet. I had been trying to go back to my super strict Paleo for the week and then letting myself have Saturdays for cheat days, and I did great for almost two weeks, but as the stress level increased and when my parents left, meaning I didn't have mom to help me prep and cook, my exhaustion took precedence and I back slid. I'm not beating myself up over this at all. The only problem is that my body has reached a sort of stasis, I guess it desires to return to "normal" somewhat, and things that I wouldn't have eaten 8.5 months ago (yes, on Saturday we're at 34 weeks already!) are making me sick. Like I'm talking heartburn that feels like a heart attack! Also, no one needs that much pizza, subway, and fast food stuff. Which, I think my shit diet thus far is one of the reasons the kid is as huge at this point as it is.

Returning to a place I was at 8.5 months ago with my health and fitness (as closely as possible and safe) is helping quite a bit. When I'm able to do it, I feel better. So much better. And I like being the large pregnant lady at the box. Part of it's totally ego driven. I like it when people come up to me after class and say, "You know, I thought there was no way I could do [x] weight, but then I saw you working out and I thought, 'well, if the pregnant woman can do it, I'm not going to let her beat me!' So I sucked it up and went with it." There are lots of things I haven't been able to do for a while. I can't do pull-ups anymore. I do them on the rings. I've had to cut my back squat and deadlift weights by 60%. Skills I had I can't work on anymore like double unders. Box jumps are out of the question, but even box steps on the 20" box are almost impossible because my stomach is so huge (44.5 inches around!). I've lost about 35% on my cleans and 25% on my push presses. I mean, it's fine. I've gained 50 pounds of baby at this point, so it is like I'm working out with a weight vest on as well. I can't run, and rowing is starting to get a little bit uncomfortable just because of the stomach, and I just can row fast. I can still do sit-ups on the abmat. Push-ups on my knees are starting to get a little difficult. And I take a ton of breaks. My workout clothes are getting a little bit too small (even the large ones I bought back in January), but I refuse to buy more at this point. They're comfy still, just scandalous looking. Also, it's just been nice seeing my CF friends again. Sometimes it's frustrating dealing with the limitations of my body, but by August I'll be able to start training seriously again.

That's it for now I guess. I just can't wait for the quarter to be over here. And to be able to just focus on what I want to focus on for the next 4-6 weeks. And nap at will.

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