Wednesday, June 24, 2015

In which there are many expletives

OH MY GOD! I am seriously ready to start punching people.

First of all, the AC is out. That is horrific for the area of the country I'm in. It's at least 80 degrees in the house, and I can't stand to be hot. Not to mention, it's not good for the kid who was sweating just running around the house this morning. On top of that, as if I would fucking forget to call the landlord to ask him to come fix it, especially when it's supposed to be like 100 degrees today. Do not keep reminding me to call the landlord to fix it. I don't fucking need to be micromanaged. And then don't get pissed off at me when you ask what the landlord said and I say "I left a message, but I will let you know what he says as soon as I hear from him so you don't need to keep asking" (because you've already reminded me twice and called me from the fucking car to remind me again, so I'm assuming you're going to ask like every time I come out of the room) and then don't sit there and pout because I've hurt your feelings. On top of my parents annoying me, my aunt is all worried about the Magpie because her inflection in her voice seems off which means that I need to pop in at the daycare to see if all they do is yell at the kids because she doesn't seem to know volume control (uh what fucking two year old does??) so something must be off at daycare. Um, no. I've never heard or seen a teacher yell or be cross with a kid there at any time I've ever gone there. "Isn't the doctor worried about her words and her hearing? I just don't think she understands anything. Now, don't get defensive..." Um, no. For the third time of this phone call, the doctor said as long as she is showing consistent growth in her speech and understanding, then she is fine. Do I need to repeat that again? three new words since Saturday. I don't give a shit that your trainer's 16 month old can repeat everything you say. Good for him. The kid has only really been able to hear clearly for about 6 months now. Give her a break. Her hearing test was perfect. And her teacher who was convinced that there was something wrong with her just can't believe how much she's blossomed and improved, so if she's not hounding me about her language and she likes kids who are textbook, then just back off.

And if I hear one more time, "oh, it's not like your working this summer..." I'm going to go ballistic. I've been doing this for almost 16 fucking years now. All I do is work over the summer (except when I had that baby you know). I'm not sitting around doing nothing here. I mean, it's summer and I don't have to be at campus, but I get up at 4:30 and go work out for 5 am so that I can maximize the amount of time I have during the day to work. This morning I worked out, stayed late at the gym with the J which sort of pissed me off because that meant that by the time we got home, kid was up, so I didn't get to shower because as soon as Mom got home, she got in the shower, and 2.5 hours later, I'm gross and sticky and sitting around in dirty workout clothes. In the meantime, I've fed the kid breakfast, wrangled her, made her lunch, got dinner ready, changed her, walked the dog (twice) meanwhile Mom spent an hour on the phone and Dad sat and read--"what's your problem? why are you so grumpy?" And I didn't want to be in the shower and not be able to say good bye to the kid, so yeah, I'm fucking grumpy.

Meanwhile, Me: "Heard from the landlord. AC guy will give me a call."
Dad: "No, no. I don't want to know. Don't bother telling me. I don't want to know."

Give.me.a.break.

Me: "fine, I'll just be in the back continuing to be a bitch."


Also, and I'm sure this will sound bitchy, but my sister's getting married, and my god, it's driving me nuts. I was going to do a surprise shower for her since everyone is out of town and have the gifts mailed and then surprise her with a bunch of shower gifts. No, instead, she wants two showers, two days in a row that I'm supposed to plan out of town in three weeks in a place I've never even been to. I've got no guest list. No times. Two people who live in the town who are supposed to call me (but hey, I'm not working, right? I should be the one on this), but who haven't bothered getting in touch with me (whose numbers I don't have but they have my info), and people are getting antsy with me because I don't have any information. Not to mention my sister is planning everything for the evening, which okay fine, but I also have a toddler to deal with and no babysitter so I don't know how I'm going to do all this. All the while, since my parents are still here, seems to indicate I feel like like I'm incapable of raising a child on my own, as evidenced by their constant micromanaging. My mom's infamous "Well, you really need to do this..." I like having them around, and I appreciate their help, but I don't appreciate the micromanagement. Yes, it's clear that I suck at life, so whatever. Thank you for the constant fucking reminders that I'm not good at anything.Because you know it's not good enough that in the process of the great purge of 2015 I've organized my closet and my work space and I've got five, yes FIVE fucking bags of clothes, shoes, and purses plus a bag of fashion jewelry to donate and a trash bag in progress of old makeup and nail polish (not to mention the emotional fucking toll of purging that much stuff at once), no it's not good enough that I've done that, rather it's "so when are you going to get around to Magpie's room? And when are you going to go through this stuff and that stuff? You know, you really need to do that." Oh, really? I do? Oh, thanks, that thought hadn't occurred to me at all. Thank you sooooooooo much for pointing out how much more I have yet to do because what I've started doing isn't good enough. But nooooo, now I'm just ungrateful.

Plus, I had a shitty fucking workout this morning, body image problems, and no coffee. A toxic combination at best. And my dad is going to fucking pout and be impossible until I fucking apologize but would he ever apologize? Fuck no.

In short, if this day ends up sucking for everyone, it's going to be all my fault.

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