Sunday, June 10, 2012

Folks! This summer teaching is wearing me the eff out! And it's only been one week! Egads y'all! The pace I set for this class is ridiculous, and I have no one to blame but myself, but $hit, what can one do when you've got to get them to write a certain number of pages and cover a certain amount of material in six weeks?? I have a couple of "breaks" written into the schedule where we'll be watching a tv show or a movie (all of which are related to the readings and their paper topics--it's only really a partially free day for me--we still have to talk about all of this stuff, but it's better than standing up there for an hour talking). Plus, I'm plagued by fantasies of what life would be like if the husband gets one of the jobs he applied for (actually, it would secure his Army career which has some cons but lots of pros actually, but really, the quickest way to make sure he doesn't get the job is to fantasize about life if he did. Stupid Murphy and his stupid laws. So now I am trying really hard to envision then how much life is going to suck until he graduates four years from now).

I'm also avoiding this pedagogy piece that I have to write by the first. It'll get done, but damn, yo, I don't know how or what to do with it. I have no sense of the article, and it's going to require more energy than I had originally thought (which is why I agreed to write it), but it's good for me anyway to write it because that will get me closer to my tenure requirements.

But here's the real problem. I'm obsessed now with this. Like seriously. As soon as I finish one book, I immediately buy another. Mostly it's because I feel freaking great (and really have for the last two months). I'm letting this be my avoidance for the thing I don't want to really write, but I cannot, I mean, I absolutely cannot start on the other two articles until this one is done. And therein lies the other problem. The two things I'm really focused on (one is the whole food thing; the other my pop culture obsession and desire to immerse myself immediately into my "new" field) is hindering the thought process for the pedagogy piece, which is important and deals with teaching in the "new" field, but I'm blocked by it. So the food obsession is my way of sort of avoiding the work for that.

I'm just a total mess right now. And the state of the house reflects that hot mess as well. Maybe rather than working on things for an hour around here, maybe I do need just a marathon day or two of getting things straightened. Part of the problem is that the office is a holy mess. I can't even get to my desk. So maybe that's what I do when I come home from class tomorrow. I eat and then tackle that office for once and for all. The husband is gone for the time being so having things spill into the hallway tomorrow afternoon isn't going to bother him. He's not working in the office currently since he's gone, so really, if I'm going to tackle the office, now's the time to do it (and I'm feeling all motivated right now, but I'm going to the g'parents' soon). Although that doesn't mean I can't start with the office now. I may go ahead and do that for the next hour.

1 comment:

  1. Hey Maude, you're writing/not writing a pedagogy piece? Can you backchannel me an email me about it? I'm interested!