Monday, March 21, 2016

I am seriously lacking in motivation today. I straight up do not want to be at work today. I'm tired. I have an awful stomach ache, in part from what I ate this weekend, and in part because I'm just so stressed about my mom. The not knowing is killing me. The not knowing what's going on and not knowing when she's leaving and how long she'll be gone. I'm not sleeping well. I'm not hungry. when I do eat it, I feel sick. It's a mess. I'm a mess.

On a positive note, since abandoning the other article, I feel better about that at least. If I can just get a couple of days where I can sit and work, I think I'll feel even better because I'll feel like I'm making some progress on something. Although, attending the conference now is sort of up in the air, both in terms of the financial issue and whether if the parents are gone if the J will be able to take off a couple of days of work. However, a quick turn around for the conference right now looks like a $1000 plane ticket, which is ridiculous and out of the question.

Thank god I'm on the anti-depressants though. As bad as I feel right now, I cannot imagine how much worse it would be without them.

Also, I don't want to be at work today. This is not a schedule I can sustain (8-4 two days a week and 8-2, one day a week); however, right now, I think it's the best in terms of having blocks of time to get my shit done, if I just take advantage of it. Next year, honestly, it won't matter if I have one or two days off to work really.

Anyway, I feel like I need to compose myself and try to knock out some quick grading before class. I'm just a bit down, but oh well. At least by sometime tomorrow we'll know when the doctor's appointment is.

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