And the hits just keep on coming...

Magpie has hand, foot, and mouth disease, I think I told you. It is the suck. Seriously. She is/was on the upswing from that though. It was running its course, but she has been so freaking miserable just about this entire trip.

Tuesday, her fever returned. And then she stopped drinking. Not totally. I think I mentioned that the other day, too. Only about 1/4 of what she normally drinks. Wednesday morning the ibuprofen hadn't brought the fever back down really, and she woke hot and dry. We ended up in the pediatric ER here. They were great; I'll give them that. She got a beautiful crocheted blanket and a really nice teddy bear. She also do a urinary catheter and a throat swab. The catheter sucked. Since there was no respiratory congestion or distress, her ears were clear, her throat is healing from HFM (but we did the strep swab to be on the safe side, which came back negative), the only other infection the doctor could think with her symptoms was a UTI. That came back negative, too. So, absent of bacterial infections, she has apparently picked up another virus. Fortunately she was only mildly dehydrated (not enough to cause concern at the moment), so we didn't have to stick her with an IV. She's had as much fluids in the last 24 hours as she's had in just about the last 2 days, so that's a grand improvement. She did not eat one bite of food yesterday, but ate a huge breakfast and her regular lunch. And going to sleep has gotten significantly less difficult. All things I consider to be amazing improvements. I wish she were drinking more, but she's been chugging water when she wakes up.

The one thing that really calms her right now, too, is being outside. Did I have room in the car for a stroller? No. Did I just now order one off Amazon and am having it shipped here tomorrow so that for the next 4 days I can make her more comfortable? I did. (And this is why it will take me forever to pay off my bills and whatnot, but that's another story). I figured this one folds up to about the width of my suitcase. I have all my clothes in compression bags. My clothes will just go under the seat or in the cargo in the trunk, and my parents will bring my suitcase back with them if need be. Will it make packing trickier? Indeed. Will it make the Magpie more comfortable for the next week and a half? Yes. And since nothing makes me feel like more of a failure as a mother than having a chronically sick baby that I can't comfort or help, then well, we will just have two strollers. One for traveling and out and about stuff, and one for jogging around the neighborhood and going to parks. Maybe that makes me ridiculous, and maybe it makes it clear that I still, after 14 months, have no idea what I'm doing yet.

In other news, the house in Home City? FINALLY ON THE MARKET! Yippee! And it's getting three showings this weekend! Hot damn! Fingers crossed that we're out from under that soon because oh my god, to have that money back which would be enough to cover our living expenses just for the summer. Oh to be out from under that house. J's ex-step mom, for all of her faults, is apparently one hell of a realtor, and it's not costing us anything to sell it, so yay.

This was supposed to be a nicer visit to the parents. We were supposed to go out and do things with the Magpie, but oh well. I didn't even need to pack 3/4 of the clothes I packed--I've been in my pjs pretty much the entire time I've been here. It's been too exhausting to even contemplate getting dressed for the day. At least I've been able to CF everyday since we've been here except yesterday and Sunday.

Anybody out there know how to boost a baby's immune system? She gets organic, grass fed meats, a decent variety of fruits and veggies, and we had started probiotics once she stopped the antibiotics, but since she's been on a bunch of medicine again, we haven't started them back up. Sigh. And you know, I can't help but to feel this is all my fault because I couldn't force her out and she ended up a c-section baby and then got hit with another whammy when I couldn't nurse her. This all just sort of reaffirms  the feelings of failure I've had since day one. Poor Magpie. I wish I could do better for you.

Misc. & Sundry Things

Okay, so maybe now I'm starting to freak out a little bit. I've not gotten nearly anything I wanted to get done this summer yet--including the self-imposed deadline for the small article. As the editor doesn't need it until the end of the month, well, here I am--I haven't looked at it since I wrote it, and now I'm 9 days away from having to turn that bad boy in, and I've made no progress. Because the J was supposed to be in class all day or at a job, well, now he's home all day, and while I love having him around, it's bad for my productivity. And it's not totally his fault. I mean, there's soooooooooo much stuff to do around this house! So much to clean, so much food to prep, so much organization to do, STILL boxes to be broken down, clothes to go to Goodwill. I mean, I could spend eight hours of cleaning a day and organizing and throwing stuff out and donating and whatnot, and I'd be occupied, seriously, for like three weeks. Next week though, I'm going to have to take the week off from housework and all things house related so I can finish the article and make some headway on my research here. I have to give myself a tiny bit of credit for just now figuring out how to order my own desk copies for my fall class.

It's July, and I haven't done anything really.

I keep saying, "But the house needs to be in order before fall; the house needs to be in order before fall," which is layered under "the house needs to be in order NOW" which thwarts my work, and all my great "reorganization" projects just leave half the place in greater disarray than before! Egads! Maybe what I need to do is devote today to the guest room  and the office and be done with it for good so I have no more excuse you know? I'm more of a mess than I like to think.

The J hasn't started work yet which is starting to stress me out because no one knows when he's supposed to in-process. The only thing keeping me from full on panic is a) he's not worried, and b) the people who got the jobs in the other units are all in the same boat, so at least three other people are limbo for their in-processing, too. With any luck though, he'll start at the next pay cycle. It sucks because if they push it off any longer, than he could have stayed in school. ARGH! Sometimes the military just makes me so freaking crazy!!

Outside of academics and the great reorganization/purging project of the summer of 2012, other things are going well. As I mentioned I bought new running shoes for the first time in a year and new work out shoes for the first time in 7 months. Yesterday I bought new work out clothes for the first time in a year as well! So now I have shorts to get me through an entire week of work outs and a couple of more sports bras. Last week I got into my mini jean skirt that I haven't been able to wear since 2010, and even then I only wore it once or twice. I tried it on in May and it did not fit at all, so that's cool. And it looked pretty good, too. CrossFit is going really well, although I fear that the trainer thinks I "like" him, which I'm sure he's aware that ALL the women there have crushes on him. However, I am almost always the last.one.there. I always do the "Ca$h Out" work out,* and I'm almost always the last one there finishing it. And then I have to stretch. It's the only thing keeping me from total body breakdown here.

But see, I see the box as a classroom. I thrive in classroom environments. And as I mentioned, the thing about the CrossFit box is that everyone who work outs there does the same work out as everyone else; we all work toward a common goal, and our times go up on the board. I am a teacher/coach/professor pleaser especially if it's a class I like, right? As I have competition aspirations, my behavior at the box is totally as one who is vying to be the teacher's pet. It's sad in a way I think, but it's also because even in the outside world, I struggle to be taken seriously. And right now, I'm like the least strong when it comes to Olympic style weight lifting than all the other females, and I HATE being last! And while we all compete against each other though, we're all very supportive of each other and what we all can accomplish. It's very symbiotic--bettering oneself betters the community and the bettering of the community betters oneself. And that's how CrossFit refers to itself--as a community. And it prides itself on fostering that community. It's service oriented, too believe it or not. Lots of people who quit their jobs to devote their time to CrossFit find some way to work CrossFit into some kind of community based non-prof. Anyway, you are all probably already sick of hearing me go on and on about this.

I have found though that it clearly is filling some kind of need/void though. I get to interact with people outside of campus, outside of my department, outside of academia. I get to do something that makes me feel really good and do that around other people who get it. And on the days I do get work done, I actually get a lot done because I feel better, I can focus, and I have more energy to do that stuff. For a while I don't have to be Dr. Maude, which isn't a bad thing at all, and granted, that is the largest part of my identity, but it's not everything. It shouldn't be everything all the time either I don't think. Anyway, this has all veered off from where I started the post, and as class is in a little bit on this Saturday morning, I should get going.

I think what needs to happen this weekend though is I figure out a schedule for the coming week and what I want to accomplish by the end of the week for work so I get that done.


Have a wonderful weekend all!


*it's the post work out work out where you drain whatever you have left in you.

What a Crazy Wonderful Week!

So the J's job is official. We went and met his new unit on Tuesday, signed his initial paperwork, and now we're waiting for them to call to tell us when he need to report to the State Capitol for his PT test. As soon as he passes (which he will), they'll cut his orders and he'll start work. Giant relief there because while I was excited about his job, I was waiting for the other shoe to drop and find out it wasn't real, or was going to fall through, or whatever, so until Tuesday, I was totally holding my breath. But now it's real. It'll be really real when we get that first paycheck.

I had also been waiting on pins and needles for my money to come in--the thing we were waiting to make us solvent for the remainder of the summer, and since it had been a week since I talked to the investment people and the check hadn't come, I was starting to think that was a joke/lie and starting to stress out. To be honest, I wanted to go shopping, but I was worried about August's bills and whatnot, too. And I need to have something put away for September, at least the first half, depending on when the J starts his job.

Now, the check finally came in, and we've been shopping. I can't say we've been irresponsible with it, and this is the thing about unemployment and underemployment and then finding out about employment and where it's hard to then be disciplined about paying off outstanding debt. All those things that we have been trying to save up for the past year which have been impossible to save for because you know, do you buy x or do you eat for two week is always the problem, has not been a problem this week. It hasn't been frivolous--we didn't go out and buy a whole new expensive entertainment center we don't need or a new kitchen dining room set or a $3k shopping spree (although, wouldn't that be nice!). Rather, we both finally got new running shoes after about 10 months*. I think we were both about a month away from having holes in the soles of those shoes. We replaced our blender with the Ninja! Really, my dream is to have a Vitamix, but I seriously can't justify that kind of money for that, not when I really also want the Dyson Slim Vac (hello, 1960s housewife anyone? I LURVE me some appliances!). Anyway, our current blender is about a decade old, gets used just about every day, but wasn't made to be used every day. We also bought a vacuum sealer for the food to help eliminate freezer burn, especially for the meats. My parents have had one for a really long time and they love it and say that it really helps keep things fresh and helps with the freezer burn. The other part of that equation was then buying a chest freezer, which we bought yesterday. One that might be a bit bigger than we need right now, but I think it's almost a necessity for us. Our freezer is so small (and we're not buying our own fridge until we have our own house), so it's impossible to buy bulk right now (like meats) and we buy a lot of frozen fruit, and sometimes those bags are too big for the freezer and the freezer door doesn't always close, which is a pain. Since we spend a lot of money on quality food, I don't want that to go to waste, so now we have a better system. The J would like to start canning. And by Christmas, I'd like to give a go at food dehydrating so I can make my own jerky and what not.

The J is also a big fan of cubicles for storage because you can get bins and stuff for them as well, so he's been wanting one for the kitchen for the tupperware because he hates our cabinet situation here. And then we got two more for the den for dvds so we can free up the bookcases for our books and get some more room in the office.

This morning I just ordered an item that I had been looking at in some form or another for almost four years (this isn't the one I saw four years ago--it's a fraction of the price, but has the same function). It's this. Actually, probably more than four years--I've been looking at something like this since my dissertation days, something I can slide up to me on the side so that I can take notes while sitting in my reading chair reading. And aside from ordering some food, we should be done with our shopping. And the Red Rocket is getting a haircut today too. I'm finally going to pay someone else to do it right and so I don't have to!

The other exciting/cool thing that's happened this week is on Monday (and we found out yesterday), a CrossFit box opened here in town!!!!!!! Oh happy day!! We went by and immediately joined!! I've been giddy with excitement since then! We went to our first class last night, and I was pumped! And then we're going to class this morning at 6 (I've been up since 4), and I couldn't sleep at all last night because I'm so excited!! I was going to use some money to buy some equipment, and while what we'll pay for a year's membership could get us our own set of stuff, now we get a trainer, we get unlimited access to the box and the equipment, and unlimited classes/training sessions. Plus, there's now way we'd be able to install rings or a climbing rope here or be able to purchase a rowing machine or GHD (glute & ham developer), so I think it's going to be awesome. And I really want to compete (I have a LOOOOOOOOOOONG way to go), so this will get me closer to that sooner. Plus, with a trainer, I'm going to see results much faster. So we are totally stoked about that!! Seriously!! We are now officially CrossFitters rather than people who do CrossFit because we now are part of an affiliate! Woot! We thought we'd have to open our own box someday or have a garage gym when we got our own house, but this is perfect. Plus, it's barely five minutes from the house! How awesome is that??!!

So that being said, I need to go get ready so I can get to class!! I haven't been this excited about an event since my wedding day!

*those of you who are runners might be cringing right now--in traditional running shoes, one should replace them every 3-4 months depending on mileage. We run in Vibram Five Fingers. Even with heavy mileage, we get away with buying a pair every 9-12 months, which saves us, combined, about $600/yr. We don't eff around with broken down running shoes.