I believe when I wrote a week ago or so I was not doing so hot.
Meh. We had a couple of good days here, but now poor Magpie has another ear infection which made this weekend horrible and difficult. By the end of the week, we will have had three doctor's appointments. Not to mention my own feelings of resentment when everyone is getting sleep and able to eat yummy things, and I get to partake in neither of those things. Yes, I understand the biological and evolutionary function of my not being able to sleep through Magpie's crying, but for the love of God, when someone else is holding her, how I wish I were able to sleep through them!
All the allergy tests came back negative and negligible. So what does that mean? It means we don't know, still, why she has the problems she does. If I am able to breastfeed her but if it means continuing on a super restrictive diet, then I will throw in the towel and finally give up on trying. I have headaches and stomachaches. I'm highly irritable. And it does affect my sleep. I spend a lot of time annoyed at people and angry. I'm on the verge of hating everyone and everything. And I can have a short temper, too.
One way or another, this has to end with the doctor's appointment on Thursday. And she seems to really be thriving on the formula.
Today I will be in grading jail. I need to be in reading jail, but because of the ear infection, this weekend was a total bust on every single level, that I got nothing done. And I've been sitting on these freshman papers for too long now. They said they don't want them back, so at least they're not complaining about them, so I got that going for me, but I don't want to have them anymore. I want them gone especially since I get peer review drafts from them on Friday and a set of lit analyses tomorrow. Sigh.
I'll get caught up; I'm sure.
I also plan on doing AcWriMo because I feel like I've got to. I've got to get some writing produced before December. And I want to.
Showing posts with label still figuring out the damn schedule and what works. Show all posts
Showing posts with label still figuring out the damn schedule and what works. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Rethinking my goals and possibilities
Well, I still have yet to actually get anything done or make any progress on anything so far this week, but today, I promise that changes!
While I am 100 million % not ready for school to start (as in I don't want to go back to work, and I'm totally unprepared for classes to begin), I think I actually NEED school to start so that I have some structure here.
Perhaps I need to rethink summers. I got more written and read during the year when I was teaching than I have during this whole time that I've not been teaching. Perhaps summer is not a good "catch up on all the stuff I didn't get done during the year time." Maybe I got pretty decent at getting work done during the year that I just don't want to do anything else during the summer.
Maybe that sounds like a total cop out. I know for 99% of you, summer is when stuff gets done even if you are productive during the year. I'm jealous of that, actually. I would have liked to have knocked out my articles this summer. But one thing that I'm really, I mean REALLY trying to work on right now is the way I think about things. I mean, I think what I need to do for next summer is set a goal right off the bat. I won't be teaching--let me rephrase that--I do not plan on teaching since the J has a job, so I feel confident in saying that I'm not going to teach next summer. I think what I need to do is just say, "okay, from 9-12, M-F, I work--I will read and write things related to the work I want to do." And I will have to have a plan before the end of Spring Quarter.
While I have been down on myself about the lack of academic stuff I've done this summer, I have enjoyed spending the summer focusing on myself. I've gotten really good at cooking and meal planning (not that I always meal plan). I've gotten closer to my fitness and health goals. All things that will have a positive effect on what I hope to get done during the year.
Even though I felt this was an all important summer on getting research done, I think that was part of the problem--total self sabotage in this area. I made the work momentous and huge and prematurely too important. If this were my fourth summer and I were still where I am, then yes, this summer probably would have made or broke me in terms of my ability to get tenure. But as often happens with me, I totally shut down under the weight of importance.
That being said, it is imperative that I get something out by the time Spring Quarter starts and that I do try to get something else out by next October. I feel confident that I can meet those goals, and that I'll still be making good progress toward the tenure qualifications. (I have about 34 of the required 50 page minimum right now. Trick will not be in the writing, but in getting things accepted--and by October, all 34 of those pages will actually be IN PRINT).
I like spending the summer learning and focusing on new, non-academic things. It's been refreshing not having to move, not having to deal with a deployment, not having to finish a dissertation while working at a crappy job or finishing a dissertation while scrapping by for food. This is the first summer I've had in a very long time that hasn't been filled with stress and anxiety requiring medication in one form or another. I've had my freak out moments (uh, like what Friday? Saturday?), and it hasn't all been puppies and rainbows, but maybe the chance to "just be" is what I needed. I'm healthier than I have been in my entire life.
So right now I need to map out a plan, some goals, a reading list, and deadlines (both long and short), come up with a plan of attack (I should do the same thing with our outstanding debt, too). I need to get to work on finishing those syllabi (the goal is to have them both done, with the schedule of assignments finished by Friday). And I need to get the first two novels for the novel class read by Saturday so I can be ahead of the game a little bit and start prepping them. I am freaking out a little bit about this class to be honest, but oh well. It's only 11 weeks.
And tomorrow I go start getting the "sugly" (summer ugly) sloughed off with a hair appointment, and I think I'm going to get my nails and toes done, too. Today though, I read and work on those syllabi.
While I am 100 million % not ready for school to start (as in I don't want to go back to work, and I'm totally unprepared for classes to begin), I think I actually NEED school to start so that I have some structure here.
Perhaps I need to rethink summers. I got more written and read during the year when I was teaching than I have during this whole time that I've not been teaching. Perhaps summer is not a good "catch up on all the stuff I didn't get done during the year time." Maybe I got pretty decent at getting work done during the year that I just don't want to do anything else during the summer.
Maybe that sounds like a total cop out. I know for 99% of you, summer is when stuff gets done even if you are productive during the year. I'm jealous of that, actually. I would have liked to have knocked out my articles this summer. But one thing that I'm really, I mean REALLY trying to work on right now is the way I think about things. I mean, I think what I need to do for next summer is set a goal right off the bat. I won't be teaching--let me rephrase that--I do not plan on teaching since the J has a job, so I feel confident in saying that I'm not going to teach next summer. I think what I need to do is just say, "okay, from 9-12, M-F, I work--I will read and write things related to the work I want to do." And I will have to have a plan before the end of Spring Quarter.
While I have been down on myself about the lack of academic stuff I've done this summer, I have enjoyed spending the summer focusing on myself. I've gotten really good at cooking and meal planning (not that I always meal plan). I've gotten closer to my fitness and health goals. All things that will have a positive effect on what I hope to get done during the year.
Even though I felt this was an all important summer on getting research done, I think that was part of the problem--total self sabotage in this area. I made the work momentous and huge and prematurely too important. If this were my fourth summer and I were still where I am, then yes, this summer probably would have made or broke me in terms of my ability to get tenure. But as often happens with me, I totally shut down under the weight of importance.
That being said, it is imperative that I get something out by the time Spring Quarter starts and that I do try to get something else out by next October. I feel confident that I can meet those goals, and that I'll still be making good progress toward the tenure qualifications. (I have about 34 of the required 50 page minimum right now. Trick will not be in the writing, but in getting things accepted--and by October, all 34 of those pages will actually be IN PRINT).
I like spending the summer learning and focusing on new, non-academic things. It's been refreshing not having to move, not having to deal with a deployment, not having to finish a dissertation while working at a crappy job or finishing a dissertation while scrapping by for food. This is the first summer I've had in a very long time that hasn't been filled with stress and anxiety requiring medication in one form or another. I've had my freak out moments (uh, like what Friday? Saturday?), and it hasn't all been puppies and rainbows, but maybe the chance to "just be" is what I needed. I'm healthier than I have been in my entire life.
So right now I need to map out a plan, some goals, a reading list, and deadlines (both long and short), come up with a plan of attack (I should do the same thing with our outstanding debt, too). I need to get to work on finishing those syllabi (the goal is to have them both done, with the schedule of assignments finished by Friday). And I need to get the first two novels for the novel class read by Saturday so I can be ahead of the game a little bit and start prepping them. I am freaking out a little bit about this class to be honest, but oh well. It's only 11 weeks.
And tomorrow I go start getting the "sugly" (summer ugly) sloughed off with a hair appointment, and I think I'm going to get my nails and toes done, too. Today though, I read and work on those syllabi.
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Misc. & Sundry Things
Okay, so maybe now I'm starting to freak out a little bit. I've not gotten nearly anything I wanted to get done this summer yet--including the self-imposed deadline for the small article. As the editor doesn't need it until the end of the month, well, here I am--I haven't looked at it since I wrote it, and now I'm 9 days away from having to turn that bad boy in, and I've made no progress. Because the J was supposed to be in class all day or at a job, well, now he's home all day, and while I love having him around, it's bad for my productivity. And it's not totally his fault. I mean, there's soooooooooo much stuff to do around this house! So much to clean, so much food to prep, so much organization to do, STILL boxes to be broken down, clothes to go to Goodwill. I mean, I could spend eight hours of cleaning a day and organizing and throwing stuff out and donating and whatnot, and I'd be occupied, seriously, for like three weeks. Next week though, I'm going to have to take the week off from housework and all things house related so I can finish the article and make some headway on my research here. I have to give myself a tiny bit of credit for just now figuring out how to order my own desk copies for my fall class.
It's July, and I haven't done anything really.
I keep saying, "But the house needs to be in order before fall; the house needs to be in order before fall," which is layered under "the house needs to be in order NOW" which thwarts my work, and all my great "reorganization" projects just leave half the place in greater disarray than before! Egads! Maybe what I need to do is devote today to the guest room and the office and be done with it for good so I have no more excuse you know? I'm more of a mess than I like to think.
The J hasn't started work yet which is starting to stress me out because no one knows when he's supposed to in-process. The only thing keeping me from full on panic is a) he's not worried, and b) the people who got the jobs in the other units are all in the same boat, so at least three other people are limbo for their in-processing, too. With any luck though, he'll start at the next pay cycle. It sucks because if they push it off any longer, than he could have stayed in school. ARGH! Sometimes the military just makes me so freaking crazy!!
Outside of academics and the great reorganization/purging project of the summer of 2012, other things are going well. As I mentioned I bought new running shoes for the first time in a year and new work out shoes for the first time in 7 months. Yesterday I bought new work out clothes for the first time in a year as well! So now I have shorts to get me through an entire week of work outs and a couple of more sports bras. Last week I got into my mini jean skirt that I haven't been able to wear since 2010, and even then I only wore it once or twice. I tried it on in May and it did not fit at all, so that's cool. And it looked pretty good, too. CrossFit is going really well, although I fear that the trainer thinks I "like" him, which I'm sure he's aware that ALL the women there have crushes on him. However, I am almost always the last.one.there. I always do the "Ca$h Out" work out,* and I'm almost always the last one there finishing it. And then I have to stretch. It's the only thing keeping me from total body breakdown here.
But see, I see the box as a classroom. I thrive in classroom environments. And as I mentioned, the thing about the CrossFit box is that everyone who work outs there does the same work out as everyone else; we all work toward a common goal, and our times go up on the board. I am a teacher/coach/professor pleaser especially if it's a class I like, right? As I have competition aspirations, my behavior at the box is totally as one who is vying to be the teacher's pet. It's sad in a way I think, but it's also because even in the outside world, I struggle to be taken seriously. And right now, I'm like the least strong when it comes to Olympic style weight lifting than all the other females, and I HATE being last! And while we all compete against each other though, we're all very supportive of each other and what we all can accomplish. It's very symbiotic--bettering oneself betters the community and the bettering of the community betters oneself. And that's how CrossFit refers to itself--as a community. And it prides itself on fostering that community. It's service oriented, too believe it or not. Lots of people who quit their jobs to devote their time to CrossFit find some way to work CrossFit into some kind of community based non-prof. Anyway, you are all probably already sick of hearing me go on and on about this.
I have found though that it clearly is filling some kind of need/void though. I get to interact with people outside of campus, outside of my department, outside of academia. I get to do something that makes me feel really good and do that around other people who get it. And on the days I do get work done, I actually get a lot done because I feel better, I can focus, and I have more energy to do that stuff. For a while I don't have to be Dr. Maude, which isn't a bad thing at all, and granted, that is the largest part of my identity, but it's not everything. It shouldn't be everything all the time either I don't think. Anyway, this has all veered off from where I started the post, and as class is in a little bit on this Saturday morning, I should get going.
I think what needs to happen this weekend though is I figure out a schedule for the coming week and what I want to accomplish by the end of the week for work so I get that done.
Have a wonderful weekend all!
*it's the post work out work out where you drain whatever you have left in you.
It's July, and I haven't done anything really.
I keep saying, "But the house needs to be in order before fall; the house needs to be in order before fall," which is layered under "the house needs to be in order NOW" which thwarts my work, and all my great "reorganization" projects just leave half the place in greater disarray than before! Egads! Maybe what I need to do is devote today to the guest room and the office and be done with it for good so I have no more excuse you know? I'm more of a mess than I like to think.
The J hasn't started work yet which is starting to stress me out because no one knows when he's supposed to in-process. The only thing keeping me from full on panic is a) he's not worried, and b) the people who got the jobs in the other units are all in the same boat, so at least three other people are limbo for their in-processing, too. With any luck though, he'll start at the next pay cycle. It sucks because if they push it off any longer, than he could have stayed in school. ARGH! Sometimes the military just makes me so freaking crazy!!
Outside of academics and the great reorganization/purging project of the summer of 2012, other things are going well. As I mentioned I bought new running shoes for the first time in a year and new work out shoes for the first time in 7 months. Yesterday I bought new work out clothes for the first time in a year as well! So now I have shorts to get me through an entire week of work outs and a couple of more sports bras. Last week I got into my mini jean skirt that I haven't been able to wear since 2010, and even then I only wore it once or twice. I tried it on in May and it did not fit at all, so that's cool. And it looked pretty good, too. CrossFit is going really well, although I fear that the trainer thinks I "like" him, which I'm sure he's aware that ALL the women there have crushes on him. However, I am almost always the last.one.there. I always do the "Ca$h Out" work out,* and I'm almost always the last one there finishing it. And then I have to stretch. It's the only thing keeping me from total body breakdown here.
But see, I see the box as a classroom. I thrive in classroom environments. And as I mentioned, the thing about the CrossFit box is that everyone who work outs there does the same work out as everyone else; we all work toward a common goal, and our times go up on the board. I am a teacher/coach/professor pleaser especially if it's a class I like, right? As I have competition aspirations, my behavior at the box is totally as one who is vying to be the teacher's pet. It's sad in a way I think, but it's also because even in the outside world, I struggle to be taken seriously. And right now, I'm like the least strong when it comes to Olympic style weight lifting than all the other females, and I HATE being last! And while we all compete against each other though, we're all very supportive of each other and what we all can accomplish. It's very symbiotic--bettering oneself betters the community and the bettering of the community betters oneself. And that's how CrossFit refers to itself--as a community. And it prides itself on fostering that community. It's service oriented, too believe it or not. Lots of people who quit their jobs to devote their time to CrossFit find some way to work CrossFit into some kind of community based non-prof. Anyway, you are all probably already sick of hearing me go on and on about this.
I have found though that it clearly is filling some kind of need/void though. I get to interact with people outside of campus, outside of my department, outside of academia. I get to do something that makes me feel really good and do that around other people who get it. And on the days I do get work done, I actually get a lot done because I feel better, I can focus, and I have more energy to do that stuff. For a while I don't have to be Dr. Maude, which isn't a bad thing at all, and granted, that is the largest part of my identity, but it's not everything. It shouldn't be everything all the time either I don't think. Anyway, this has all veered off from where I started the post, and as class is in a little bit on this Saturday morning, I should get going.
I think what needs to happen this weekend though is I figure out a schedule for the coming week and what I want to accomplish by the end of the week for work so I get that done.
Have a wonderful weekend all!
*it's the post work out work out where you drain whatever you have left in you.
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Stuff to do!!
Um, yeah, so I've accomplished nothing in the way of work this week. Gah! We've been cleaning, shopping, organizing, and most importantly, CrossFitting! Yeah! And watching the games online--we have a Mac Mini and that thing is just so portable we move it to the den and hook it up to the t.v. when we need to watch something on-line.
So I have some awesome things first to report--on Thursday right I did my first unassisted handstand and couldn't do the rope climb. Yesterday I did THREE unassisted handstands, made movement toward a handstand pushup AND made it about 8 feet up the rope! Woo-hoo!
I've got to get some of this stuff around here organized and taken care of today though because I do have work to do (although truth be told right now all I want to do is hang out at the box). So today I've got to do some food prep and finish with the kitchen stuff. I've got to finish moving the DVDs to their new home and get one of the bookcases into the bedroom so I can move the spare desk into the office and temporarily house the microwave stand there until there's room to move it to the guest room to make room for the chest freezer. We've got to get boxes broken down and into the trash for pick up tomorrow and get the clothes for goodwill in the car to bring them tomorrow too (conveniently located near our CF box).
My student who has the incomplete and who complained so loudly with hir father to anyone over me who would listen (and who has received two emails from me reminding hir of what needs to be done, how to submit, etc.) has YET, after all that freaking grief on Monday, to turn hir work in. Apparently contesting hir scholarship isn't really that big of deal now since it's clear it's not my fault that ze can't contest it. But I freaked out on Thursday when the Assistant Dean called me at home after 5 because I thought that it was about this student. Turns out it wasn't. More pretty good news--there's this week long program for H.S. students at the Uni that's funded by a large national grant, and part of that "camp" is that they watch films relevant to the topic of the camp and then have to discuss the films in the context of what they've learned that day. I guess usually someone from the English department is asked to do this (so I don't know why they didn't ask the person who often does it), but anyway, this year, according to the Asst. Dean, I was his first choice/recommendation for this to the program director, and it pays $600 for three nights of work--I give a 5-10 minute intro to the film, watch the film with the kids, and voila, I get $200 per movie for that. Sweet right?! And I get to list it as service for both the university and larger community on my c.v. for tenure. I'm down with that. I would do it just for the money anyway (and I'm in town, and it's not that labor intensive, and we still don't know when the husband starts work, so I'll take whatever extra money I can get still). Anyway, I'm totally down with that.
My goal for this coming week, M-F is to read a book a day (come as close as possible) and write for at least 15 minutes and FINISH that other freaking article. The short one. The one I now haven't looked at for two whole freaking weeks!
With any luck, this is what next week's extreme research schedule will look like--three hours of reading in the morning, 15 minutes of writing, four hours of reading in the afternoon. At least. The husband will either have to read as well or find something else to occupy him. I need next week to jump start some getting work done here. It's mid July; I've accomplished nothing, not even the small article, and time is slipping away. It'll be September before I know it.
I don't want to get stressed out yet, but I'm almost at that point. Today, finish organizing/cleaning and all that jazz!
Have a great weekend everyone!
So I have some awesome things first to report--on Thursday right I did my first unassisted handstand and couldn't do the rope climb. Yesterday I did THREE unassisted handstands, made movement toward a handstand pushup AND made it about 8 feet up the rope! Woo-hoo!
I've got to get some of this stuff around here organized and taken care of today though because I do have work to do (although truth be told right now all I want to do is hang out at the box). So today I've got to do some food prep and finish with the kitchen stuff. I've got to finish moving the DVDs to their new home and get one of the bookcases into the bedroom so I can move the spare desk into the office and temporarily house the microwave stand there until there's room to move it to the guest room to make room for the chest freezer. We've got to get boxes broken down and into the trash for pick up tomorrow and get the clothes for goodwill in the car to bring them tomorrow too (conveniently located near our CF box).
My student who has the incomplete and who complained so loudly with hir father to anyone over me who would listen (and who has received two emails from me reminding hir of what needs to be done, how to submit, etc.) has YET, after all that freaking grief on Monday, to turn hir work in. Apparently contesting hir scholarship isn't really that big of deal now since it's clear it's not my fault that ze can't contest it. But I freaked out on Thursday when the Assistant Dean called me at home after 5 because I thought that it was about this student. Turns out it wasn't. More pretty good news--there's this week long program for H.S. students at the Uni that's funded by a large national grant, and part of that "camp" is that they watch films relevant to the topic of the camp and then have to discuss the films in the context of what they've learned that day. I guess usually someone from the English department is asked to do this (so I don't know why they didn't ask the person who often does it), but anyway, this year, according to the Asst. Dean, I was his first choice/recommendation for this to the program director, and it pays $600 for three nights of work--I give a 5-10 minute intro to the film, watch the film with the kids, and voila, I get $200 per movie for that. Sweet right?! And I get to list it as service for both the university and larger community on my c.v. for tenure. I'm down with that. I would do it just for the money anyway (and I'm in town, and it's not that labor intensive, and we still don't know when the husband starts work, so I'll take whatever extra money I can get still). Anyway, I'm totally down with that.
My goal for this coming week, M-F is to read a book a day (come as close as possible) and write for at least 15 minutes and FINISH that other freaking article. The short one. The one I now haven't looked at for two whole freaking weeks!
With any luck, this is what next week's extreme research schedule will look like--three hours of reading in the morning, 15 minutes of writing, four hours of reading in the afternoon. At least. The husband will either have to read as well or find something else to occupy him. I need next week to jump start some getting work done here. It's mid July; I've accomplished nothing, not even the small article, and time is slipping away. It'll be September before I know it.
I don't want to get stressed out yet, but I'm almost at that point. Today, finish organizing/cleaning and all that jazz!
Have a great weekend everyone!
Monday, June 25, 2012
Light at the end of the tunnel.
I have decided that today will not be a marathon grading session.
I will get through as many drafts as I can during my office hours. And then I will finish them tomorrow. I'm hoping to get through at least 10.
I have a marathon draft commenting day on Thursday. I'll save my energies for that.
Today we look at an essay. Tomorrow we finish the movie and talk about it in context of today's essay. Wednesday is a short essay we read. Then from here on out, all I do is look at drafts. No more prep.
The end is in sight.
While I didn't get hardly any sleep last night, I feel okay this morning. Okay enough to go for a run before class since it's like 100 in the afternoons now, there's no way I'm running after class.
Also, I think there may have been something going around over here, contributing to my exhaustion and its accompanying depression. One of my friends has been sick all week and battling a 101 degree fever! And the husband said there were a couple of cases of strep throat at drill. And a few of my students have been sick enough to end up in the doctor's office--a couple twice already! So maybe I had a bug. I'm glad it wasn't worse than it was! Although I did feel like the world was ending.
All right. I'm going to enjoy my coffee, contemplate my day, and then run, teach, grade, and then consider cleaning and putting things away when I get home, since I'm not going to kill myself grading this afternoon. I feel like I need the house clean so that I can focus on writing that little article that's due in a week.
I will get through as many drafts as I can during my office hours. And then I will finish them tomorrow. I'm hoping to get through at least 10.
I have a marathon draft commenting day on Thursday. I'll save my energies for that.
Today we look at an essay. Tomorrow we finish the movie and talk about it in context of today's essay. Wednesday is a short essay we read. Then from here on out, all I do is look at drafts. No more prep.
The end is in sight.
While I didn't get hardly any sleep last night, I feel okay this morning. Okay enough to go for a run before class since it's like 100 in the afternoons now, there's no way I'm running after class.
Also, I think there may have been something going around over here, contributing to my exhaustion and its accompanying depression. One of my friends has been sick all week and battling a 101 degree fever! And the husband said there were a couple of cases of strep throat at drill. And a few of my students have been sick enough to end up in the doctor's office--a couple twice already! So maybe I had a bug. I'm glad it wasn't worse than it was! Although I did feel like the world was ending.
All right. I'm going to enjoy my coffee, contemplate my day, and then run, teach, grade, and then consider cleaning and putting things away when I get home, since I'm not going to kill myself grading this afternoon. I feel like I need the house clean so that I can focus on writing that little article that's due in a week.
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Mapping out some summer work plans
I need to tinker around with the blog format a little bit more here so I can get my summer to do list up on the side bar somehow/somewhere. But I am too lazy this morning to do that. And I feel like doing a little bit of recreational reading this morning also before I work out.
I had a lot of stuff that I was hoping to accomplish this weekend, but truth be told, I am wiped out from our trip. We got back into Home City from Conference City at about 7:40 pm on Wednesday, a day that started at about 6 am for me. Then we had to pack up all our stuff from Home City. We left Home City to return to Big Little Town on Thursday, another ten hour trip. Yesterday, the husband had to get up bright and early to get to work (yay! his unit is paying him to come into the office and do stuff for them before drill!) and then I had to go teach. Ugh. I discovered yesterday morning that I'm a in computer lab. I don't much like that set up at all. On a positive note, the kids in the class seem to be a better group than what I had last quarter. Rather than feeling beat down and depressed about teaching comp, I'm actually looking forward to this summer quarter with this group. After yesterday, I'm feeling re-energized about 101. And I was exhausted. So yay for small miracles.
I had really wanted to sleep in this morning, but I could hear the Divine Miss T pacing the floor because she had to pee. No sleeping in for me.
This summer I am going to attempt to do what I've never been able to accomplish over the summer break--I am going to be productive! I am going to map out a schedule for the summer and deadlines and goals and the like. And I'm going to be smart about it. I'm going to allow for free days, days I don't want to work and want to veg, and "off days," just like a work out program sort of. Generally I pack my schedules so tight that I can't follow them because they are so strict.
The July and August schedule will look much different from the June schedule because I'm teaching now and not then.
But here's the general plan:
I'm going to give this a shot for two weeks and see what happens. Right now though, I'm going to have another cup of coffee and recreational read for a little while before I really need to actually start my day.
I had a lot of stuff that I was hoping to accomplish this weekend, but truth be told, I am wiped out from our trip. We got back into Home City from Conference City at about 7:40 pm on Wednesday, a day that started at about 6 am for me. Then we had to pack up all our stuff from Home City. We left Home City to return to Big Little Town on Thursday, another ten hour trip. Yesterday, the husband had to get up bright and early to get to work (yay! his unit is paying him to come into the office and do stuff for them before drill!) and then I had to go teach. Ugh. I discovered yesterday morning that I'm a in computer lab. I don't much like that set up at all. On a positive note, the kids in the class seem to be a better group than what I had last quarter. Rather than feeling beat down and depressed about teaching comp, I'm actually looking forward to this summer quarter with this group. After yesterday, I'm feeling re-energized about 101. And I was exhausted. So yay for small miracles.
I had really wanted to sleep in this morning, but I could hear the Divine Miss T pacing the floor because she had to pee. No sleeping in for me.
This summer I am going to attempt to do what I've never been able to accomplish over the summer break--I am going to be productive! I am going to map out a schedule for the summer and deadlines and goals and the like. And I'm going to be smart about it. I'm going to allow for free days, days I don't want to work and want to veg, and "off days," just like a work out program sort of. Generally I pack my schedules so tight that I can't follow them because they are so strict.
The July and August schedule will look much different from the June schedule because I'm teaching now and not then.
But here's the general plan:
- a.m. workouts--which, yes, I am still loving working out in the morning, and now I don't have to be on campus for a full 45 minutes later than what I was used to on my late day and almost 2 hours later than my early days, so this is good. Especially since it's getting to be super hot. I will be able to work out in the morning before going to campus. Yes!
- teach.
- lunch during office hours (I'm usually famished after teaching).
- For the next two weeks at least, M-Th write for 15-30 minutes a day for small article due no later than July 1. (I'm actually shooting for June 15th, because I'd like to be done with it--this is the one I wanted to finish in April. >:-/)
- Friday afternoons are devoted to grading as for the next five weeks I will be picking up drafts every Friday and I want to get them back to the students before the weekend so they have time to figure out what they need to do.
- For the next two weeks as well, I'd like to spend one hour, M-Th, cleaning out the office and the guest room--decluttering, organizing, making donation piles, going through clothes, putting the last straggler of the winter clothes away even though it hasn't been winter here since February, etc. I think if I try to do a marathon session in these rooms, I'll get three hours in and quit for months. About an hour is my limit. I'm going to need my writing space cleared out by July so that when it comes time to work on the big articles, I have space.
- Use Sat/Sun morning to read and prep for the week. I'm going to save that this week for tomorrow. :)
I'm going to give this a shot for two weeks and see what happens. Right now though, I'm going to have another cup of coffee and recreational read for a little while before I really need to actually start my day.
Monday, April 30, 2012
And the countdown begins...
In the words of Spike from this show, "this quarter is OVER!" Not in the sense that it's literally "over" but in the sense that this quarter is so not cool anymore. And it must be said with emphasis. Not some valley girl or early grunge statement, but with emphatic agitation and feet stomping. So I say, "Dear Freshman Stus, it's time for me to move on to the next 'cool' thing. I can't even really tell you goodbye because that might imply that I will miss this class. No. To those of you, those like 4 of you who put forth some effort, I wish you the best but you are so OVER! [stomps foot]"
It's pathetic because there are actually only four days left that I'm actually teaching them, including today. Oh, there are about 9 days left of class, but I'm only actually going to instruct them for four out of the next nine. Friday their essays are due, and I'm giving them the day off not for them and all their hard work, but so that I can grade the essays and finish them before noon so that I don't have to think about them. My prediction is that a good portion of them are going to be Fs because they'll be well short of the actual 3 page minimum page requirement. I have already made a deal with myself that essays that are 75 and below (which I think will be most of them at this point) will not receive comments. Most of them, I'm assuming, based on their initial draft work, will fail. I will not spend time commenting on them since they have to meet with me if they want to revise the essay anyway, I'm not going to waste my time. The following Friday will be to go over the take home final; I'm making them show up mid week for the last week of classes and then the last day I've canceled both the Friday classes, and I'm going to sit at home and grade.
As far as the lit classes are concerned, I'm going to miss them, as I usually do. But I'm done prepping for the quarter. The stuff for the remainder of the quarter is stuff that I've taught A LOT this year, and if you count multiple sections of the same class, the last couple of stories I would say have been taught upwards around 8 times already this year. That's surprisingly not true for even the earlier stuff in my field. And these are very teachable stories, and ironically, though so far out of my field, the easiest things for me to teach. I only needed really to reread Cather. And I might should skim Faulkner if I have time, but I'm not going to lose sleep over it.
I'm pretty sure that I can knock out most of the lit analyses during my office hours this morning. We'll see. Again, I'm not losing sleep over it... anymore.
I'm pretty sure it's this attitude as to why I got wasted Friday night. And why, despite my best intentions and knowledge, I seem to need to check out of the quarter about once a week on a major scale. I know it's self-sabotage and avoidance and a vicious cycle, but I think this class just reminds me of my freshman at Fancy Town, and I don't throw this around lightly, but seriously, it's like a mild PTSD*--coupled on top of the husband being away from drill--which still, 2 years later, every time he leaves for drill, it feels like he's leaving for Afghanistan. Since Afghanistan, his absence (even if it's to spend the weekend 2 hours away) = combat and war in my head. It's getting better, but I can't just think of him as off at drill. So there's that.
*I don't use this lightly (particularly given the events at the start of the quarter), but that my writing classes at FT College were *that* traumatic. Insomnia, depression, crying, feeling sick every Monday morning. I am *almost* at that point right now, and this class makes me think of my first writing classes there. I can't not associate the two, which makes my attitude really really bad. Thankfully there are only three weeks left.
I have only four priorities for the next three weeks:
Also, we have a totally kick ass Friday planned. And with any luck, also a kick ass Saturday planned, so if I can hang on for the week, I will be duly rewarded for the weekend.
Now, to go face my day.
It's pathetic because there are actually only four days left that I'm actually teaching them, including today. Oh, there are about 9 days left of class, but I'm only actually going to instruct them for four out of the next nine. Friday their essays are due, and I'm giving them the day off not for them and all their hard work, but so that I can grade the essays and finish them before noon so that I don't have to think about them. My prediction is that a good portion of them are going to be Fs because they'll be well short of the actual 3 page minimum page requirement. I have already made a deal with myself that essays that are 75 and below (which I think will be most of them at this point) will not receive comments. Most of them, I'm assuming, based on their initial draft work, will fail. I will not spend time commenting on them since they have to meet with me if they want to revise the essay anyway, I'm not going to waste my time. The following Friday will be to go over the take home final; I'm making them show up mid week for the last week of classes and then the last day I've canceled both the Friday classes, and I'm going to sit at home and grade.
As far as the lit classes are concerned, I'm going to miss them, as I usually do. But I'm done prepping for the quarter. The stuff for the remainder of the quarter is stuff that I've taught A LOT this year, and if you count multiple sections of the same class, the last couple of stories I would say have been taught upwards around 8 times already this year. That's surprisingly not true for even the earlier stuff in my field. And these are very teachable stories, and ironically, though so far out of my field, the easiest things for me to teach. I only needed really to reread Cather. And I might should skim Faulkner if I have time, but I'm not going to lose sleep over it.
I'm pretty sure that I can knock out most of the lit analyses during my office hours this morning. We'll see. Again, I'm not losing sleep over it... anymore.
I'm pretty sure it's this attitude as to why I got wasted Friday night. And why, despite my best intentions and knowledge, I seem to need to check out of the quarter about once a week on a major scale. I know it's self-sabotage and avoidance and a vicious cycle, but I think this class just reminds me of my freshman at Fancy Town, and I don't throw this around lightly, but seriously, it's like a mild PTSD*--coupled on top of the husband being away from drill--which still, 2 years later, every time he leaves for drill, it feels like he's leaving for Afghanistan. Since Afghanistan, his absence (even if it's to spend the weekend 2 hours away) = combat and war in my head. It's getting better, but I can't just think of him as off at drill. So there's that.
*I don't use this lightly (particularly given the events at the start of the quarter), but that my writing classes at FT College were *that* traumatic. Insomnia, depression, crying, feeling sick every Monday morning. I am *almost* at that point right now, and this class makes me think of my first writing classes there. I can't not associate the two, which makes my attitude really really bad. Thankfully there are only three weeks left.
I have only four priorities for the next three weeks:
- Workouts
- Meal prep and healthy eating
- Sleep
- Conference paper
Also, we have a totally kick ass Friday planned. And with any luck, also a kick ass Saturday planned, so if I can hang on for the week, I will be duly rewarded for the weekend.
Now, to go face my day.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Grrr. another Funk. go away Funks!!
Argh, after all my planning, all my whatever this quarter, I cannot, for my life, bring myself to care about the final weeks of the quarter. I am having a hard time really caring about the comp class. I know, it's totally terrible. totally and completely terrible. As it turns out, I wanted so little to have to work yesterday that I just got wasted Friday night. And of course I woke up Saturday in tears because I did exactly what I didn't want to do, but I know why I drank as much as I did and why I didn't go home when I was still ahead--I just did not want to spend my Saturday working and working on the comp class at that. I technically have three weeks left because we don't have an official finals week. I just seriously could care less. Even though I felt fine by about 3:30, I still didn't bother to work or grade. I'll have to leave the g'parents' early today in order to catch up on my reading. I hate to say that I.JUST.DONT.CARE. Mostly because I just don't know what else to do for them.
Case in point. Of the 18 drafts that I received (there are more than 18 students in the class) for peer review, for a three page paper, 2 came close to a full draft, only one turned in a full draft. About 5 of them were a paragraph only. Seriously. A paragraph for a peer review draft! A fucking paragraph! And then about 5 turned in a page. One fucking page. I guess that's better than a paragraph, but are you fucking kidding me? 7 weeks into the quarter, and this is what you bring to the class and what you bring to me for feedback? So I'm assuming then that about half the class is going to fail this next essay. And that half the class is going to be in my office for feedback for their revisions. I have already decided that if it's lower than a C, I'm not commenting on the essay at all. Because given the amount of effort put into the rough drafts, I'm not wasting my time to be frank.
Rather I just spent all day yesterday totally feeling sorry for myself. It's quite pathetic. This quarter has just been marked by death and bad news, friends moving... I guess that's a lot to deal with in 7 weeks in addition to a class that's just full of a bunch of freaking duds.
I'm done. I want the quarter to be over. And I'm finding that I'm having a hard time actually getting psyched up for the summer quarter. I just don't care. I'm tired. I'm tired of freshman. I know that's terrible to say.
Plus I have this damn conference paper that I need to write. I'm not behind on classwork yet, but I'm getting there. This should have been a weekend where I was able to get things done because the husband if off at drill, but that's totally not the case. It's been a waste.
I hate being in a funk. I'm totally in a funk.
Despite the few ups that I've had this quarter (although to be fair, I always feel better after I totally just rant here on the blog), I just can't break this funk for more than a few days at a time. It's frustrating. I'm just frustrated, to the max. With everything right now. Myself, my teaching, my scholarship. Yes, I know two days ago I was all "yay for getting to concentrate on me!! woo-hoo!!" but I'm not feeling that this morning.
So, I think what I might do before the g'parents is just shower and then plow through everything I can before I head out over there. It means that I won't get the work out in today or not until later, but I think I might feel better if I get the school monkey off my back rather than delaying the inevitable.
ugh. Sorry for the negativity, but I'm hoping the vent helps me feel better.
And I have a very cute mutt whining to go outside. I can't resist that faces.
Case in point. Of the 18 drafts that I received (there are more than 18 students in the class) for peer review, for a three page paper, 2 came close to a full draft, only one turned in a full draft. About 5 of them were a paragraph only. Seriously. A paragraph for a peer review draft! A fucking paragraph! And then about 5 turned in a page. One fucking page. I guess that's better than a paragraph, but are you fucking kidding me? 7 weeks into the quarter, and this is what you bring to the class and what you bring to me for feedback? So I'm assuming then that about half the class is going to fail this next essay. And that half the class is going to be in my office for feedback for their revisions. I have already decided that if it's lower than a C, I'm not commenting on the essay at all. Because given the amount of effort put into the rough drafts, I'm not wasting my time to be frank.
Rather I just spent all day yesterday totally feeling sorry for myself. It's quite pathetic. This quarter has just been marked by death and bad news, friends moving... I guess that's a lot to deal with in 7 weeks in addition to a class that's just full of a bunch of freaking duds.
I'm done. I want the quarter to be over. And I'm finding that I'm having a hard time actually getting psyched up for the summer quarter. I just don't care. I'm tired. I'm tired of freshman. I know that's terrible to say.
Plus I have this damn conference paper that I need to write. I'm not behind on classwork yet, but I'm getting there. This should have been a weekend where I was able to get things done because the husband if off at drill, but that's totally not the case. It's been a waste.
I hate being in a funk. I'm totally in a funk.
Despite the few ups that I've had this quarter (although to be fair, I always feel better after I totally just rant here on the blog), I just can't break this funk for more than a few days at a time. It's frustrating. I'm just frustrated, to the max. With everything right now. Myself, my teaching, my scholarship. Yes, I know two days ago I was all "yay for getting to concentrate on me!! woo-hoo!!" but I'm not feeling that this morning.
So, I think what I might do before the g'parents is just shower and then plow through everything I can before I head out over there. It means that I won't get the work out in today or not until later, but I think I might feel better if I get the school monkey off my back rather than delaying the inevitable.
ugh. Sorry for the negativity, but I'm hoping the vent helps me feel better.
And I have a very cute mutt whining to go outside. I can't resist that faces.
Friday, April 27, 2012
On the Schedule
Well, I don't think going back to this reading in the morning, working out in the afternoon is going to work for me. At least not while I'm basically trying to detox myself from gluten and dairy as I feel crappy and tired right now.
After like 10 days of working out in the morning and then going back to working out in the afternoon, I have come to miss working out in the morning and being done with it. And I am now willing to get up at 5 am and forgo the coffee in order to get to the work out first thing so that I can get all three workouts in before class. I really think this is the best option for me. And then I can just read in the afternoons while the husband does his homework. It's making me even grumpier NOT to work out in the morning. And this morning I got all three workouts in. And it felt glorious. I'm still really freaking grumpy today (probably because I know I have all those freshman essays to comment on and I have spent class time thus far blogging rather than confronting the essays), but at least I know that after my meeting today, I don't have to go work out for 90 minutes. I liked that week that I had the weekday afternoons open to get stuff done. Or nap. Nothing wrong with napping. But, I have rediscovered how good it feels to work out first thing. I have reprogrammed myself to need that rather than doing it in the afternoon.
So from tomorrow to next Saturday, the new schedule is as follows:
After like 10 days of working out in the morning and then going back to working out in the afternoon, I have come to miss working out in the morning and being done with it. And I am now willing to get up at 5 am and forgo the coffee in order to get to the work out first thing so that I can get all three workouts in before class. I really think this is the best option for me. And then I can just read in the afternoons while the husband does his homework. It's making me even grumpier NOT to work out in the morning. And this morning I got all three workouts in. And it felt glorious. I'm still really freaking grumpy today (probably because I know I have all those freshman essays to comment on and I have spent class time thus far blogging rather than confronting the essays), but at least I know that after my meeting today, I don't have to go work out for 90 minutes. I liked that week that I had the weekday afternoons open to get stuff done. Or nap. Nothing wrong with napping. But, I have rediscovered how good it feels to work out first thing. I have reprogrammed myself to need that rather than doing it in the afternoon.
So from tomorrow to next Saturday, the new schedule is as follows:
- S-Th. Work out first thing in the morning. Really push to get all three workouts in on the days all three are scheduled.
- Friday is off day.
- M-Th in the afternoons: 1-2 hours toward reading/writing/research.
- Saturday mornings as always: prep work for the week.
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