Argh, after all my planning, all my whatever this quarter, I cannot, for my life, bring myself to care about the final weeks of the quarter. I am having a hard time really caring about the comp class. I know, it's totally terrible. totally and completely terrible. As it turns out, I wanted so little to have to work yesterday that I just got wasted Friday night. And of course I woke up Saturday in tears because I did exactly what I didn't want to do, but I know why I drank as much as I did and why I didn't go home when I was still ahead--I just did not want to spend my Saturday working and working on the comp class at that. I technically have three weeks left because we don't have an official finals week. I just seriously could care less. Even though I felt fine by about 3:30, I still didn't bother to work or grade. I'll have to leave the g'parents' early today in order to catch up on my reading. I hate to say that I.JUST.DONT.CARE. Mostly because I just don't know what else to do for them.
Case in point. Of the 18 drafts that I received (there are more than 18 students in the class) for peer review, for a three page paper, 2 came close to a full draft, only one turned in a full draft. About 5 of them were a paragraph only. Seriously. A paragraph for a peer review draft! A fucking paragraph! And then about 5 turned in a page. One fucking page. I guess that's better than a paragraph, but are you fucking kidding me? 7 weeks into the quarter, and this is what you bring to the class and what you bring to me for feedback? So I'm assuming then that about half the class is going to fail this next essay. And that half the class is going to be in my office for feedback for their revisions. I have already decided that if it's lower than a C, I'm not commenting on the essay at all. Because given the amount of effort put into the rough drafts, I'm not wasting my time to be frank.
Rather I just spent all day yesterday totally feeling sorry for myself. It's quite pathetic. This quarter has just been marked by death and bad news, friends moving... I guess that's a lot to deal with in 7 weeks in addition to a class that's just full of a bunch of freaking duds.
I'm done. I want the quarter to be over. And I'm finding that I'm having a hard time actually getting psyched up for the summer quarter. I just don't care. I'm tired. I'm tired of freshman. I know that's terrible to say.
Plus I have this damn conference paper that I need to write. I'm not behind on classwork yet, but I'm getting there. This should have been a weekend where I was able to get things done because the husband if off at drill, but that's totally not the case. It's been a waste.
I hate being in a funk. I'm totally in a funk.
Despite the few ups that I've had this quarter (although to be fair, I always feel better after I totally just rant here on the blog), I just can't break this funk for more than a few days at a time. It's frustrating. I'm just frustrated, to the max. With everything right now. Myself, my teaching, my scholarship. Yes, I know two days ago I was all "yay for getting to concentrate on me!! woo-hoo!!" but I'm not feeling that this morning.
So, I think what I might do before the g'parents is just shower and then plow through everything I can before I head out over there. It means that I won't get the work out in today or not until later, but I think I might feel better if I get the school monkey off my back rather than delaying the inevitable.
ugh. Sorry for the negativity, but I'm hoping the vent helps me feel better.
And I have a very cute mutt whining to go outside. I can't resist that faces.