Better!

FedEx found my package. The guy delivered it to the wrong address, which I suspected, but I didn't want to wander around my neighborhood knocking on doors asking if my package had accidentally been delivered to them. But FedEx found it. Quite quickly, too, I might add. I was impressed. I'll stop bad mouthing them behind closed doors.

I feel confident, too, that I've found a hairdresser here. She can do highlights/lowlights AND cut hair! She can cut my hair!! And I like her because she's not afraid of me. She has confidence in her abilities and knows that she knows what she's doing and that she's the expert. And I like that. And she can interpret what I want. So I think she'll do. Which is great. I mean, up until now, it's been fine just waiting until we go to Home City to my girl there, but now that the kid is on the way, I imagine our travels to and fro are not going to be as frequent, so I do need to find someone here who knows what she's doing because I'm vain.

Miss T's neck seems to be going down in the swelling category. Old girl does not seem to be in distress, so we're still monitoring her, but all seems fine with the old girl. Except the heat. I need to start walking her around the yard during the afternoons, but stubborn girl wants to walk, but I can tell the heat affects her. We're going to have to work on that.

Every single item of baby clothing/stuff with the exception of one large blanket is washed. Some tidying needs to be done, the co-sleeper assembled, and the car seat installed, but other than that, I feel like we're pretty well set here to receive the child--being parents? That's a different story. But I'm totally enamored with how cute those tiny little diapers are! Of course I know they're cute until they're full. Ha!

I think that end of pregnancy nesting thing has kicked in. I was wide awake until about midnight last night. I've only gotten about 5 hours of sleep, but I'm wide awake and not tired today either.

So today, here's what I need to do:

• Mani/pedi--for sure. 
• Pick up some t-shirts I ordered from CrossFit that have been in for over a week.
• Grocery shop.
• Prep food.
• Vacuum.
• Change sheets.
• Get crib bedding set up.
• Stop by cell phone store to find out why my blue tooth doesn't work on my new phone.

I also need to get some good freezable paleo recipes that I can make and start stock piling food in the next week or so. Ideally, I'd like to have 3 months worth of paleo dinners in the freezer. That may be a lofty goal, but I'm going to do what I can. At least all the movies for the camp I'm doing next week are the same as the ones this week, so there's not much I need to do other than show up.

We're about 29 days from hatch date here. I guess this is the home stretch. 

And I think on that note, I'll have some breakfast, walk the mutts, get ready, and then get that mani/pedi first. Priorities, yo. 

pfffft.

Well, I'll start with all the things that are bothering me/have gone wrong in the last week, which most of it is probably me overreacting, but hormones are raging, I'm on this crazy sugar binge, and highly uncomfortable. But I've got to get it off my chest:

• My hair appointment last week was a mess and disappointing and I won't go back to her, although she's sweet and tried really hard, but I won't even go back to have her fix my hair for free. First of all, I arrived five minutes before my appointment. I sat there for 10 minutes before my presence was acknowledged. Then I was told she was running behind on a pedicure, and she was 30 minutes late. Generally not a big deal, but a HUGE deal to a very pregnant lady. Then she did my hair. Low-lights to blend the blonde. No. After sitting in the chair for an hour, there was no change in my hair color. So she did it again after she cut and styled it. Then she asked me about my haircut. I brought a picture. Not even close. "Do you like the cut blunt or something with an edge to it?" Me: "Edge. Do not cut it blunt. My hair doesn't work with a blunt cut." What did I get? A blunt bob with blunt layers. I was going to suck it up, but after a week, the color looks like dishwater, and for chin-length hair, it takes too long to do. I'm trying someone new today because the person who can cut hair (but isn't good at highlights) left the other salon. Sigh. We'll see.
• FedEx has claimed that they delivered my package; however, I have no package. Furthermore, the J was home at the time they claimed it was delivered, and he says he saw no truck, the dogs did not bark, and again, I have no package. FedEx is launching an "investigation." Nice.
• The Divine Miss T came home from the vet with a swollen neck. I thought perhaps just a reaction to getting vaccinated. It's never happened before, but she's old. But the swelling was huge by last night. Of course, I'm crying about a tumor, how I don't want her to die, how I want her to meet the baby, how she can't be sick. In other words, I was a total fucking mess last night. What it appears to be is just some sort of benign giant fluid filled cyst. She has a couple of these, not of this size, but I spent some time last night massaging her neck, and this reduced the swelling by 2/3. She has a slight swell this morning and a bit of a knot, but we decided that if massaging it makes it go down and it continues to decrease, then we'll hold off on the vet. Whatever it is is not affecting her. Her eating, drinking, and energy level is all the same as normal. She's not in distress. And massaging it apparently feels good. Even though she's old, I hesitate rushing her off to the vet because I feel like vet prodding is more traumatic if unnecessary than if we are rational about what's going on. I'm trying not to overreact. Our basic rule with the elderly one is that if she's not in distress then we don't want to stress her out with vet visits and tests and stuff. 
• I feel like shit. I just feel gross. My body just feels disgusting, and I feel like it hates me. I also feel like this somehow means that the kid is working on making its entrance. It could also be that since I've been traveling and eating not that well (well, not terrible except the last three days, but it's because I don't feel good so I'm eating comfort stuff), so what the hell do I know about this? I've never been through this. So we'll see if cleaning up the diet has any effect or if I still feel crappy. If I still feel crappy, I'll take it as a sign that I need to get things finalized here for the kid. However, my gut feeling is that Magpie will be here by week 38. It also feels like its getting ornery in there.

Okay, I guess I feel a bit better now after getting that off my chest. Now for the good things:

So much love for the Magpie this weekend! Though the vast majority of my family may in general be bat-shit crazy tea baggers (that's a whole other post), they are very very generous. We got a lot of good stuff this weekend. As a matter of fact, we've gotten so much stuff from our showers that we've only had to spend about $1200 out of pocket for kid related stuff (including diapers and stuff, but not including maternity clothes or my obnoxious chair). Which, I think for a first kid and for people who don't know what they're doing and who love to spend money without thinking, I feel like we've come off pretty good with only spending $1200 of our own money. And my parents said that they're going to reimburse us for the breast pump, so if they do (I'm not going to hound them for that), then that number goes down. I'd like to have some more bottles, but other than that, we don't need anything else. And while I told her she didn't need to, a friend is getting us the Moby wrap, which is too kind, but that's the last thing that we want that's not necessary but will be very very nice to have. 

The cybercamp started this week. It's not time consuming, and it's not like it pays a whole lot, but enough to be worth the effort to do it, and I actually enjoy it. I don't do much. But I just like being a part of it. It's a good gig.  It's starting to get uncomfortable sitting for two hours watching a movie every night, but it's cool. I can deal with it. It'll be even more uncomfortable next week, but it's fine. I'll live. 

Hahaha, I think the kid has hiccups. And it's moving around a lot this morning. I can see it through my robe and tank top. I imagine it's getting crowded in there.

So I suppose I'll eat and get on with my day here. Hair appointment, doctor's appointment, I need to finish the movie for tonight. Busy day. At least it's summer!

On Things and Other Things

Sometimes I get in a place where I compare myself to people who seem to be relatively successful but people whom I actually despise, and this makes me feel bad about myself. I don't know why I do this. It's usually during a time when I feel like I should be accomplishing something and perhaps need a kick in the butt to get going.

But still, it's stupid. And if being an ugly person is a means to success, then why do I want to see that kind of toxicity in my life? Meh. Anyway.

This is what I did yesterday: I blogged. I showered. I walked the dogs. I did some laundry. I did some dishes. I made lunch and reheated leftovers for dinner. I relaxed. I FBed. I responded to a student email and to a couple of summer work related emails*.  Also, I cleaned out my work email inbox. I sat in my obnoxiously comfortable chair (and ridiculously expensive chair) and watched the Magpie move around and stretch in my belly. And I read. And read. And read. And I watched Magpie kick the book off my stomach when it crowded the little ones feet. I am proud of myself actually for not having turned on the television until 6:45 pm last night. That's a big deal for me because I love t.v. I know, it's pathetic how much I love t.v. But I love t.v. Anyway, it's sad that I need to pat myself on the back for spending hours yesterday reading, but it felt good.

Also, I napped.

I had a dream last night that I gave birth to a large baby girl. 8.6 lbs, 22.5 inches. And she was early. And when everyone found out it was a girl they were shocked since the general consensus seems to be boy. I have no inkling one way or the other. Oh, and the baby could talk, but it could only say either "I'm done burping" or "I need to be burped." And I couldn't figure out why I didn't bring any nursing shirts or bras to the hospital. All I had was "regular" clothes, and it was a real pain in the ass.

Yesterday the reason I was feeling all glad about myself for reading was because it was a book that I'm thinking about teaching in the winter. But it's totally a way to procrastinate and avoid the thing I actually need to be working on before the baby comes, but I'm congratulating myself at this point on doing something and thinking ahead.

Today I have some errands to run and some more clothes to wash and some packing for this weekend to do, and I need to consider eating some breakfast here, too. And the parents are coming in tonight. I haven't worked out in a couple of weeks now at this point, and I'm starting to get a little stiff and ornery here because of it, but I'm just tired right now. I know it's good for me, and I know I should do it, but honestly, right now, being on my obnoxiously comfortable chair all day is just so much more appealing and relaxing. But, next Tuesday, I will recommit myself for at least 2 more weeks and then probably not do too much heading into the last three weeks before hatch date here.

Right now, I am very hungry. So I will eat and perhaps run my errands early while I'm not totally wiped the *f* out. I'm just happy that it finally feels like summer around here, that I've finally chilled the *f* out (although I wish I could have more sleep in until after 8:30 am days around here and not 6:30 am days). My brain is finally in "I'm not teaching mode" thankfully. And it feels good to finally be in that space.




*I'm doing this camp this again this summer which really just involves me spending a couple of hours about 3-4 nights a week introducing a movie to HS kids and watching the movie with them and making a nice chunk of change for what amounts to be about 30 hours of work total over two weeks. That little works pays about as much as a month's worth of summer comp teaching. I'll complain still I'm sure, but it's relatively easy, not very time consuming, and the extra money coming in at the end of June when I don't get a paycheck will be worth this. And I'll be done by June 6th.

Today it feels like summer break.

Now that I've finally gotten some rest and slept in past 6:30 am and went out last night on a "school night" with no consequences to me (poor J still had to get up at 5:30 to go to work), and  I am actually thinking a bit more clearly for the first time in months, I feel like I can breathe a sigh of relief, and I feel like there might actually be opportunity for me to relax and get things done that I might want to do. Of course this is all easier said than done, but for right now, it's nice to feel positive.

The last three weeks have been a bit trying. I've actually been quite depressed; however, before anyone begins to worry, I know this is a result of stress and poor diet. Not that my diet has been terrible, but gluten really does affect my mental state. Plus, add that to the stress of the end of the quarter, hormones raging out of control, a fetus who seems to be in constant movement, and to be quite honest, I'm surprised I've been as sane as I have. Fortunately, I've finally gotten some rest; summer finally feels like it's here, so perhaps I can get my stuff together and relax.

There are some things that I've been thinking about though the last couple of days. One, I have too much stuff. I wish I were better at not having stuff, at not accumulating stuff, or at least getting rid of things as I get new things. This has nothing to do with baby things. It's my stuff. But, part of the problem, at least with regarding my closet and wardrobe, which seriously needs to be scaled down, is that that is not anything I can do until after the baby comes because as I have all manner of sizes of clothes in my closet, I'm sure I will need a variety of sizes until my body finds some sort of stasis postpartum. Also, I should go through my books for donation. And our DVDs. We have lots of duplicates. And part of that clutter is paying off old debts finally so that maybe next year we can have a house of our own (provided we get the one in Home City sold).

The one thing I'm not worried about is whether I'll be a good mom. I know I'm going to be a worried neurotic mom, because of how I am with the Divine Miss T, and because when I was folding baby clothes on Monday I started crying about how the kid was going to grow up and go off to college and leave me, and the kid's not even done baking yet. I've made my peace with this, and I know that the J will balance out my craziness.

But here's the thing, oddly enough, that has been bothering me the last few days--I worry that I'm not intellectual enough (Oh, I'm smart enough, and I even maintain to my students that I'm brilliant and that I refuse to believe there are smarter people than I). So what will happen then when my brain turns to oatmeal with a newborn, infant, and then toddler? I mean, I set unrealistic goals for myself when I'm not with child and fully functioning, so WTF am I thinking now?? There are things that I need to be working on and want to be working on before the Magpie hatches, and I just wonder what I'll be able to accomplish. And I think maybe the thing that worries me more is that I won't want to do anything. Does that make sense? On the other hand, I worry that I might be selfish in wanting to insist that I maintain and carve out a space (like before) for my intellectual and my CrossFit pursuits.

I guess all of this stuff is natural to be thinking about though.

I think the other thing I might be worried about is where this blog is going to go.  Because I'm a total narcissist, I'm sure in part it will become "oh look at my baby!" blog, but I'm hoping that rather than a showcase for the Magpie and a place for whining, I hope that it will become a place to help me balance life, and as I do have things that need to get written this year (otherwise I *will* be behind schedule for tenure if I don't get the rest of my stuff finished this year), I'm hoping that it will become more about those ideas as well.

However, for now, I think I will just try to be present and not worry too much about the future, otherwise the summer will be over before I know it.

Exhausted!!

Done! I finished the quarter unscathed I suppose. And I met my goal of being done by 3. Actually, I finished early and got all my grades done and posted by 2 pm Friday afternoon. They are officially due today by 3:30. Nope. Not me. It has been so great not having to worry about grading all weekend and frantically working at the last minute to finish. I know many of my friends are still grading, and I feel for them, but I'm happy that my quarter ended Friday. And fortunately, I've only had one email so far regarding grade complaints, the "I can't have a C because I'll lose my funding for the summer, can you please reconsider my grade, thank you" complaint. Well, if you "can't" have a D, then you probably wanted to consider paying attention to the syllabus and absence policy. I'm sure there are lots of students who would have liked for me to ignore their absences as well. But, knock wood, that's the only one.

I am utterly exhausted though. I don't know if it's the usual let down from the end of the quarter--you know, that point where your body just sort of goes kaput after being in fight or flight mode for several days. Plus, we did a bunch of stuff around the house on Saturday and went to the G'parents on Sunday, then I had a potluck to go to, and then yesterday we did a bunch of stuff, too, so maybe it's just that I actually haven't rested yet. I was totally going to go work out before my hair appointment this morning, but I may try to get everything done and prepped this afternoon so I can work out before our friends come over for dinner tonight. And I know just last week I was talking about how working out has been so good for me lately, but the last week or so, I've just been too tired. And I haven't been sleeping that well the last few days either. But such is the nature of the beast I suppose. At least the increase bathroom breaks during the night and the even less sleep has hit when the quarter ended rather than during the quarter.

But yesterday I got all of the baby stuff washed, or all of the stuff that we have so far. The bedding is on the bed. The crib liner is up. I have to finish folding today. But I feel like, aside from a couple of big things we both need (car seat) and would like to have, we're in pretty good shape right now. And it's cute how the J is starting to "nest," too. He's done like all this organizing and assembling that I've been asking him to do (some stuff I've been nagging him about for 2 years!), and I think part of it is to avoid other things that I've been nagging him about, but it's cute.

I hate to say that I really just want to lay in bed all day. It's starting to really be the only comfortable position, and that sucks because I still have 6 weeks to go! Yikes! And I have stuff that I want to do and need to do in the next six weeks, but ah. Oh well. I'll do what I can. And I think I want to go lay back down before I have to go to my hair appointment.

On the end of the quarter and working out.

Do you know how good it feels right now to be able to sit here and blog? All I have to do today is write a quick letter of recommendation, which I don't think will take me longer than an hour because I have a template for the teacher's college L.O.R.s, so all I have to do is plug some stuff in and tailor it to the student, but I won't have to start from scratch. Shady? I don't know. It's worked so far for the students, so I must be doing something right, or at least not hurting them. It's the best I can do this quarter.

But that's it. I have the day off for the first time in months.

And as I have been busting my ass for the last two weeks in order to stay on top of the grading, it finally paid off yesterday. I am totally, 100% completely caught up. It involved grading while the students were watching the movie in the survey class this week, and I'm thankful for that extra time. It also means that yesterday afternoon, since the upper division classes are over for the quarter, I calculated and uploaded those grades. There were two students who hadn't turned in their papers, and while the last day of classes is tomorrow, their essays were due last Friday, and we finished class yesterday, then well, if the class is over, then well, I don't know what to tell them. One student I possibly could have worked with had ze contacted me last week, but waited until four days after hir presentation and final paper were due to contact me, well, sorry. It's a sad tale, but still. I don't care right now if I'm heartless. And as a result of busting my ass for 2 weeks, I just conked out yesterday afternoon.

Anyhoo, what all of this means is that all I have to do tomorrow is grade objective in class exams tomorrow. And I'll be able to grade them as the students turn them in, and the 8 am class will be done before the 12:30 class takes its exam, and I may very well be done by 3 pm tomorrow afternoon. I should be able to achieve my goal! And that's it and that's all folks!

So I mentioned Tuesday that I would talk about working out still. I think I may have 3-4 weeks left in me with the CrossFit before this kid comes. Perhaps it will be a bit easier once I don't have school and once there's a 9 am class again for the summer.

I quit working out first thing in the morning. I was waaaaaay too tired and not sleeping well enough to get up at 4:30 am for the 5 am class. It was fine before the overload because I had TR off, but working 5 days a week I just couldn't keep it up. So I switched to the afternoon class. I found that even if I was tired, I could have a good workout, and the benefit was that I could come home, eat, and then rest, so for a while, I was able to keep up with 3x a week. Well, until last week when I had to decide whether I wanted to spend the afternoons plowing through grading or go work out. If I weren't pregnant, I wouldn't have had to make that choice. But I live in a state of constant negotiations with my body and energy level. And while physically the exercise would have been better for me (I started to really feel it after 10 days of no work out), but mentally, oh man, nothing felt better than getting the grading done.

There was a conflict between my motivations. I'm highly motivated to be done by tomorrow--there was no way in hell I was dragging the grading out to next Tuesday. I'm also highly motivated to reduce my chances for a c-section. While I know determining weight in the womb can be very inaccurate, this kid has been measuring big from the beginning. So I want to do everything in my power to prepare my body in any way I can to reduce those chances. I will NOT let the doc schedule one, and I'd rather not be induced. But it's still early for that yet.

As a result, I've been much more vigilant about my work outs and about my diet. I had been trying to go back to my super strict Paleo for the week and then letting myself have Saturdays for cheat days, and I did great for almost two weeks, but as the stress level increased and when my parents left, meaning I didn't have mom to help me prep and cook, my exhaustion took precedence and I back slid. I'm not beating myself up over this at all. The only problem is that my body has reached a sort of stasis, I guess it desires to return to "normal" somewhat, and things that I wouldn't have eaten 8.5 months ago (yes, on Saturday we're at 34 weeks already!) are making me sick. Like I'm talking heartburn that feels like a heart attack! Also, no one needs that much pizza, subway, and fast food stuff. Which, I think my shit diet thus far is one of the reasons the kid is as huge at this point as it is.

Returning to a place I was at 8.5 months ago with my health and fitness (as closely as possible and safe) is helping quite a bit. When I'm able to do it, I feel better. So much better. And I like being the large pregnant lady at the box. Part of it's totally ego driven. I like it when people come up to me after class and say, "You know, I thought there was no way I could do [x] weight, but then I saw you working out and I thought, 'well, if the pregnant woman can do it, I'm not going to let her beat me!' So I sucked it up and went with it." There are lots of things I haven't been able to do for a while. I can't do pull-ups anymore. I do them on the rings. I've had to cut my back squat and deadlift weights by 60%. Skills I had I can't work on anymore like double unders. Box jumps are out of the question, but even box steps on the 20" box are almost impossible because my stomach is so huge (44.5 inches around!). I've lost about 35% on my cleans and 25% on my push presses. I mean, it's fine. I've gained 50 pounds of baby at this point, so it is like I'm working out with a weight vest on as well. I can't run, and rowing is starting to get a little bit uncomfortable just because of the stomach, and I just can row fast. I can still do sit-ups on the abmat. Push-ups on my knees are starting to get a little difficult. And I take a ton of breaks. My workout clothes are getting a little bit too small (even the large ones I bought back in January), but I refuse to buy more at this point. They're comfy still, just scandalous looking. Also, it's just been nice seeing my CF friends again. Sometimes it's frustrating dealing with the limitations of my body, but by August I'll be able to start training seriously again.

That's it for now I guess. I just can't wait for the quarter to be over here. And to be able to just focus on what I want to focus on for the next 4-6 weeks. And nap at will.

Hello from the depths! Anyone still out there??

Oh my fair bloggy friends I have missed you dearly!! This quarter has just been so hellacious that I've not really been able to keep up with all of you, nor have I been able to keep up with my poor little blog here. Part of it is that I just spend so much time on the computer grading that being on the computer for recreation is not an option. Actually, it's quite unpleasant. And while my little MacBook Air is great for travel and carting to and fro campus, sitting at the kitchen table typing on it after staring at it all day to grade is just not my idea of destressing and relaxing anymore. But I'm finally back on the home desktop here! What would become the nursery has been a storage room, and I hate that the Magpie has to share his/her room with me so I can have an office space, but that's how it will be. There's no room in what is now the official guest room, and even if there were, my parents are basically moving in in September to help with the kid, so I wouldn't be able to work at will in there anyway. Plus, it's just a short distance from the desk to the crib, so perhaps it will work out just fine for when I need to work, and the kid needs me or something. Who knows?

This is the final week of classes. I have been a madwoman up until about last Thursday. And these four classes have had me so stressed that I was starting to worry about its affect on the fetus so much that I asked the specialist about it. He said there's nothing to indicate that my stress level has affected the baby, thank god. We went to California for a conference about mid-quarter, so that helped. It was wonderfully relaxing. I was able to get all of my reading for the overload class done for the remainder of the quarter on the plane, so that helped tremendously. It also meant that I could spend my time grading. And that is basically all that I've done since April--grade. With the overload class, there's just no break, as those of you who teach four classes know. There's a tremendous difference between 3 and 4 classes. And honestly, if I weren't pregnant, I wouldn't complain as much. I'd be pissed, still, for sure, but my exhaustion level wouldn't be so enormous. But oh well. This is the last week of classes. We're watching movies in three of the four (I should be done with the TR class today!) and presentations in the fourth. I was really irate with the grading last week because I very much got the impression that (and this was confirmed some by student postings on FB) since other people's classes are "harder" and those profs are "notorious" and people want "As" in their classes, students put more effort into their papers for the other profs than for my class, and the assumption is that because I'm very pregnant and very tired, I'd give them a pass. Which is funny because two students at least in the upper division class this quarter told me they were worried because they had heard that I'm a "notoriously hard grader." So I took the crap that was turned in personally.

What do I mean by crap? Grad students, who I know know better, using an on-line dictionary as a main secondary source. Grad students who, even after I shut down this argument on the paper proposal, still insisted on turning in a paper about "Poe's unique and excellent style." WTF? Really? I wouldn't take that from a fucking survey course paper. English majors in a senior level class who decided that they didn't need to do any citations throughout the entire essay. Book reviews and biographies of poets rather than actual research papers. And I know the problem is not the assignment because about half of these offenders have seen this before, and it's a pretty clear cut RESEARCH PAPER assignment that as upper division students they should be able to handle. And should, at this point, be able to write 8 pages at a minimum in their sleep. On more than one I wrote, "this is lazy." And on the grad student papers I had to write, "This is not what I expect out of a grad student at this point. This is undergrad work." They can pass it off as bitchy pregnant lady, but don't fucking waste my time at this point. Look, I do understand that it's essay triage here at the end of the quarter, but at least acknowledge it's lazy crap. That I'll at least respect. It'll be graded accordingly--crap is crap--but own it at least.

Anyway, enough of that rant. Here are some of the good things--My parents were in for about two weeks. The only reason I'm sane right now is because of them. My mom helped with the cooking--she did all of it last week. She cleaned my whole house. She even spent about 6 hours just cleaning and dusting and organizing my bedroom! And she cleaned my bathroom. The woman is a machine. And she did all of our laundry. My dad helped clean, break down boxes, go to the dump with Jeremy to get rid of stuff, started working on stripping a toy box so we can refinish it for the nursery, painted the nursery--while Mom worked on my bedroom, I cleaned, organized, and trashed a bunch of stuff that was in "storage" and got it ready to be painted so it could be a nursery. We organized the kitchen. And since Mom took care of the chores, I was able to spend last week grading everything as it came in daily. Which means that by Saturday morning, I had everything graded and calculated up to that point and could start yesterday with a clean slate. Yesterday I graded all of the take home exams I had taken up and the lit analyses for the poetry class. I got two of the three sets of senior grades calculated and submitted already. I will finish grading the seniors' stuff for the lit class this morning and get those done before noon. I busted my ass last week (and was only able to because Mom did all the others things for me like cooked) so I could grade. My goal is to be done with this damn quarter by 3 pm on Friday. If I get all the stuff for today done, that means I get to take this afternoon off. That means tomorrow I can focus on the stuff that's coming in and get that stuff done. That leaves Thursday free and clear, and it means that on Friday, all I have to do is worry about the in class exams for the survey classes, and those will be relatively easy to grade. I am just so damn ready to be done with this quarter, to put it behind me and never ever think about it again. I don't care if the evals are bad. I expect them to be. I'm only human. Overloaded with two courses not in my field and only related to what I do because they're American lit. And if it weren't for my parents, I'd be nowhere near close to being finished right now or on top of the grading.

And let me just say, last weekend when we got the nursery cleaned out and ready to be painted, my stress level just plummeted. Knowing that all of that is done, the nursery and the guest bedroom, is a total load off my mind because it's not waiting for me to do when the quarter is over. I can really actually make some progress on an article before the kid gets here. I can start stockpiling some food in the freezer for dinner for after the kid gets here. I can get the kid's clothes and blankets and stuff washed and done. I can cook. I can keep working out and get sleep as well. Since the organizing and cleaning and painting are done, and that is a load off my mind, I might actually be able to relax a bit before the kid gets here.

I also switched my work out schedule. But that's another post. Perhaps Thursday. :)

So there it is. The end of the quarter angst and bitchiness, but damn, I'm almost done. I'm still hopeful about being able to get some work done before the kid gets here, especially since everything else is just about in order, so we'll see how that goes. For those of you still finishing your quarter, here's to a good one for you. For those of you done with your semesters, I'm jealous!