You know, I do feel somewhat bad about all the negativity I've been spewing forth about my job and my boss. I have to vent somewhere though. I wake up with headaches. I go to my workouts surly because even though I know the physical activity is good for me and will help with stress and headaches and whatnot, I still just think about all the things I need to be doing (even though, yes, self-care is an important one of those things), and I hear her voice in the back of my head criticizing me for working out rather than doing academic work.
There are two really sad things about all of this. One is that up until about 7 weeks ago, I was really enjoying my job. The second is that every morning I wake up enthusiastic really about the work that I'm doing and the stuff that I have planned, and then by about 8:30 I become completely demoralized and I want to crawl back into bed and just forget about everything. And I don't want it to be that way.
I feel bad, mentally, physically, emotionally. I feel like I have a short fuse, too, right now and that's not really me. It's just so argh! I mean, it's shitty to just feel like this all of the time lately.
Anyway, the husband will be home for 10 days, which is crazy amazing and wonderful. I only have to work one day next week, which is nice. I'm hoping I get some rest over our little break and some work done, so maybe by Tuesday I won't be feeling like such an asshole anymore.
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